Not to like being called posh?

[Stillwearinggloves]

What point is a person trying to make by saying someone else is posh? This comment has been made to me or about me a few times recently by so-called friends. AIBU to think it’s rude and not to like being singled out in this way?

From my experience people who are not 'posh' do very much like to be thought of as such. People who are actually posh don't give a hoot.

I’ve not been called posh but I’ve had comments on the size of my house etc. and it always makes me uncomfortable.

I think it’s because not necessarily a compliment? It’s not completely positive so it makes you feel mildly offended.

I speak very well but am not white so people say it quite frequently, I think they are expecting pigeon English. I find it rather amusing.

They're either jealous of you or are just bantering it's hard for us to tell either way please don't let it get you down

What is it meant as?

I think it’s rude to make personal comments about things people can do nothing about (assuming it’s the accent here).

When I’ve been called posh is was for going to the opera and ballet, the model of DH’s car and because our children don’t have a ‘local’ accent.

The friends I regard as posh went to private and/or boarding school, had regular skiing holidays, a family “place” in Scotland they holidayed in and were related to titled gentry.

And certain aristo surnames as first names,
Araminta, Hester and Lettice. All upper class names so ‘posh’ but that word sets my teeth on edge.

I've been called posh a lot in England. For not talking in the local accent, for being "not from here", for being a big reader. So many random things and it was never complementary.
However my family are rural smallholding farmers from the west of Ireland, with education and emigration the only way out for generations. It makes me laugh!

One person said it by reference to an activity I did a long time ago. The other person apparently often says it about me (the first person told me this) but I’m not sure if it’s about anything specific. So not insulting exactly - but I’m just not sure it’s meant in a friendly way.

It’s certainly not a compliment because it’s not unequivocally positive.

I was once called posh because i said 'yesterday evening' instead of last night.
I am far from posh.
My dad did insist I speak correctly and clearly so I was called posh for that too.

And Arabella and Araminta and Jasper and Tiggy and loads of others!

My name isnt that shockingly "posh" either it's along the lines of your names, I was actually named after my great grandmother. Alas jealous shits will always find something to make fun of

If someone mis-classes you, just lean into it

I work in a deprived area. I have been called posh several times by service users- but in a way to simply differentiate me from them and with zero malice. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest. They are just making an observation that I sound different and dress differently. Couldn’t get worked up about it.

I was called posh in school for not dropping H’s saying three and not free for 3.

Honestly I think people base poshness on accent as opposed to lifestyle.

I usually find if I am called posh it is by someone projecting their insecurities onto me.

Someone at work does this to me. Makes comments like “I bet you shop in John Lewis” 😂 cracks me up that this is their idea of posh.

I don’t particularly like it but because it’s a work environment I just suck it up. I know deep down it’s probably some some of resentment about their own life and having to shop at B&M.

I think a lot depends on who is saying it and why and to whom. I've had work colleagues says "ah, but you don't do x, you're posh" and they don't mean it unkindly, they're saying "hey we all know you don't do <insert tedious chore here>"

It's sometimes shorthand for a bit princessy or reasonably well spoken (both of which I am) and I don't mind at all if someone is saying it to my face in a joking or kindly meant way.

I'm not posh btw. But I do have a lovely life and I don't really care whether anyone thinks I'm posh or not, I know I'm not.

But OP if you think it was meant unkindly, call them on it.

There really are.

Not unreasonable at all not to like it. It makes me feel self-conscious and hypercritical of what I’m doing if someone randomly calls me posh—I don’t identify with posh people at all. Saying that, my dear mother-in-law, who I love with my whole heart, calls me a ‘posh bird’ regularly. It’s meant with love; she just thinks my eating cake with a fork and my more southern accent are fancy, but I could never be mad at her for it. It’s likely, as you said, to be due to being well-spoken. Don’t take it too personally, OP—I doubt they mean it to be offensive.

YANBU. It's 'othering'

I've been called posh because of my accent. It's a bog-standard boring flat English accent. I don't have much of a local dialect. But it's enough to be treated with suspicion by some people!

I was called posh as a child because I moved from a village in surrey to the south coast. I wouldn't mind it now, being called a snob on the other hand not so nice! And I'm definitely not that!