Not to like being called posh?

[Stillwearinggloves]

What point is a person trying to make by saying someone else is posh? This comment has been made to me or about me a few times recently by so-called friends. AIBU to think it’s rude and not to like being singled out in this way?

Thanks. I’m considering calling them out on it but I feel a bit tired by the prospect! I don’t feel I should have to discuss it at all, and I suspect that the response will be that I’m being too sensitive, rather than an apology.

Being called posh is a compliment. Unless it’s being said by someone chippy.

I've been made fun of my whole life for being 'posh'. I'm not although lived in a nicer part of my run d down town.
It's used to bother me but now I play up to it and act extra posh for the fun of it.
It's really not a big deal.

YANBU. I don't think anyone says it to be nice. It's a loaded term that is the same as 'you think you are better than everyone else'.

All depends on context, friends with a positive history of being nice to you I’d say they are just lighthearted banter
can you talk to them and tell you it’s not landing well

Hope it doesn’t rhyme with your user name!

Used to get this from FIL "ooooh you're posh aren't you" or "oooooh posh". I'm definitely not posh but perhaps to someone with a chip on his shoulder I am...

One day I snapped back with "what is it about calling me posh all the time?" and gone vv LC and it seems to have stopped so far

And yes totally agree it's not meant positively, it's a way to say they think you think you're better than them. It's boring and tiresome and only reflective of the sayer.

I went to college with an aristocrat, title and everything. Her clothes always looked like they needed a good wash and her hair remembled someone who'd been dragged through a hedge backwards. Her RP accent was the only clue.
Posh in my circle wouldn't be a compliment, more someone being a bit 'try hard.'

Posh in my circle wouldn't be a compliment, more someone being a bit 'try hard.'

I agree, rather Hyacynth Bucket-y as opposed to someone genuinely upper class who tends to play it down.
I love the sort of people described as "posh" on Come Dine with Me - they're all "Ooh, no Ay'm not" but absolutely lap it up.

@Stillwearinggloves if they think you're snobby or stuck up then there a chance you might be, even without intention. But if not then I'd just assume it's meant in a light hearted way.

I have a few very traditionally 'working class' mates who've called me posh.

Equally I call some people posh if they're rich, went to boarding school and talk RP. It's not necessarily being nasty.

My mate had his own three bed house mortgage free when he was on minimum wage and his lodger was a Tory MP. He got called posh a lot by me! His family owned more than one castle so he couldn't exactly sit there denying it. 🤣

DH has an RP accent but generally looks quite scruffy. I've heard him described as "That nicely spoken man" which I like whereas I wouldn't like him to be described as posh.

@raspberrycordial Posh: a word used by people who don't have manners to describe people who do 😂😂

But you’ve been friends since your school days, so your background hardly hold any surprises for them at this point?
You’ve clearly been doing something different, or expressing different opinions that they don’t expect from you 🤷🏻‍♀️

?
All I can think of is wanking?

No my name is not wanking

But people also call people "common" and rough.

It's not nice the other way either.

Wouldn't you rather be called posh than rough?

Ah, sorry - I’ve only known this group of friends for the past 4 years or so. My accent has been the same since I’ve known them (and since school).

I would never say to any of my friends that they are common or rough. I don’t think that, but I would never want to upset anyone by saying that kind of thing anyway. I don’t really want to be called anything other than Still. I think a PP is right about it being ‘othering’.

I think as we live in a very class based country, you are always going to be called posh, if you are posh.

We have extremes in society. And some people are very posh

Bridget, tarquin, aphrodite, lettuce, peaches, hugh, hetty, marcus

Brilliant the MIL is on this list 😂

I only ever refer to someone being 'posh' based on accent. Never based on money, house etc..
I have said to people before when describing someone - "she's a bit posh" 😅

It sounds like you’re picking up on the power dynamics - the more time you e been away from a group the more obvious this sort of jostling for position can be, plus it’s harder to shove yourself back into your assigned box.

I’m perimenopausal and I’ve so little time for this nonsense anymore so I’ve only bad advice to give you. But you’re not wrong to feel it’s off - it’s not important whether it’s a compliment or not; it is, as you’ve said being used to alienate you subtly. Groups often bond by finding either a common enemy (external) or teasing the weakest member. I much prefer 1:1 conversations where we actually enjoy each others company than playing monkey politics.

Xanthe and Crispin?

Just tell them to fuck off and stop being so rude. That should do the trick!