She doesn't speak English - pointless meeting up

[Dannnyy]

My brother recently got engaged, he and his fiancée are coming to visit next week, we have met her briefly but have no relationship with her really.
My parents really want us all to go out for a meal, however she speaks 3 languages none of which are English. I know my brother could just translate and I have school level knowledge of one language. However I think it would be extremely awkward, and just not very fun. Apparently she is learning English but my brother says she's not in any hurry to get "good" at it.

AIBU to think it's pointless meeting for a meal in these circumstances?

The More I read, the more pissy your attitude is about this. Honestly! Have a word with yourself.

dont ever go to a foreign country op as you might be shocked to learn they speak a different language

Well done for acknowledging YABU OP.
Go along and meet her, it is one meal. She will likely pick up the gist of a lot of the conversation and you can include her by using basic level language with please to meet you and how you are and is your food nice as well as your brother translating.
I assume they don't live in the UK, but her picking up more English is likely to come through social interactions like having meals with her DH's family.

The fiancée’s English is probably only marginally less than fluent anyway.

Of course it's worth it! A few smiles go a long way.

Your job as Big Sister is not to make stunning conversation, it's to make your little brother's fiancee feel welcome in the family. You don't need to speak the same language to do that. Just go along.

Top tip for OP and some others on this thread.

NEVER think communication is difficult because someone else doesn't speak English. It is ALWAYS because they don't speak English and you don't speak any of their languages.

You could do something about that.

Because noone likes to be yelled at.

Look at my next point. Speak slowly but not overly so.

When you go "NAAAAAIIICEEEE. TOOOO MEEEET. YOOOOOOOUUUU" it comes across wrong.

If you go "Nice to meet you" it comes across as if you want to communicate and make friendly ties.

@Dannnyy Assuming that her English never improves, will you just avoid her for the rest of your life to save any potential awkwardness?

YABU

In any case I'm sure she speaks or at least understands some English.

When I moved to my DH's country 20 years ago I didn't speak the language (apart from counting to 10). My FIL couldn't speak English and my MIL very basic broken English (she's never learnt, only picked up from American soaps on TV). For them to refuse to meet me because I didn't speak their language - what would that have done to our relationship? Do you want a relationship with your brother?

Is it going to be challenging? Yes.

Should you go? Yes.

What a really sad attitude to your future sister in law, possible future mother of nieces or nephews. I know various families whether there are language barriers with in laws but they still spend time together and figure it out.

How rude, of you.

YABVU
Yes that's right, exclude the poor woman on the basis that she doesn't speak the language. Ridiculous! She will pick it up in her own time, just be kind and welcoming to her and that's all you need to do! Your brother will appreciate it a lot.

What if she was deaf and british, would it still be pointless meeting? 🙄 you don't have to be able to communicate in spoken English to have the respect to meet someone.

I hope this is fake! If someone is deaf or struggled with speech due to a stroke (or a million other reasons) etc would you just not bother with them OP?

OP surely you can communicate with her in French as it is commonly taught in British schools?

Why don’t you really want to go OP? There must be something underlying this as I don’t believe is about language. What’s the dynamic between you, your parents, your brother? Are there other siblings?

How could it be a reverse. The gf wouldn't know her sil don't want to meet her due to the English thing and if she doesnt speak English How would she be writing on mumsnet of all places... IN ENGLISH

I also agree that lots of Europeans have a different interpretation of “poor” when it comes to their language skills - they often speak much better than what we would expect from a Poor speaker of the language. This is obviously an exaggeration but also not a million miles from the truth in many cases…https://m.youtube.com/shorts/RwU3APlPUFY

You sound nice, why not try learning her language

This explains it all. I get where you are coming from, I live in an area like this also and come from a family like yours. Just get along, enjoy yourself and I am sure you will get on all fine. It's never easy meeting new people when you come from this background, probably farming sort of area...?

You are looking at this very negatively and unless you can change that mindset, I wouldn't go as you are not going to give a good impression.

I'm assuming she doesn't live in this country and so why is the responsibility on her to speak English, you are sounding very entitled. You need to meet her half way and try to pick up a few of her native words and show willing.

She presumably lives abroad and speaks the language of that country, and if your brother is there with her, he will speak that language.

Just think how daunting it is for her, coming to the UK and meeting her future inlaws.

A distant family member lived in Columbia and came home with his Columbian girlfriend and stayed at his elderly Mums and she was in her late 70's. His Mum learnt a few words in advance, Hello, welcome etc and gave her a hug. Both parties tried and what his Mum took away from it was that the girlfriend made her son happy, she could tell from the body language. You can also tell a lot from someone by the effort they make.

Most Swiss have some English even if not formally taught. Surely meeting his family is an opportunity learn and you should support it.

YABVU and rude. How will she learn English if nobody ever talks to her.

You are weird. My mom is English and my father Spanish, my brother married a Spanish girl who doesn´t speak English and my aunt doesn´t speak Spanish, wipped google translate out and communicated. She is your brother´s fiance, not some random. I am used to translating here and there, so´s my brother, we make it work. It´s not that you have to spend a week with her it´s just a meal fgs.