She doesn't speak English - pointless meeting up

[Dannnyy]

My brother recently got engaged, he and his fiancée are coming to visit next week, we have met her briefly but have no relationship with her really.
My parents really want us all to go out for a meal, however she speaks 3 languages none of which are English. I know my brother could just translate and I have school level knowledge of one language. However I think it would be extremely awkward, and just not very fun. Apparently she is learning English but my brother says she's not in any hurry to get "good" at it.

AIBU to think it's pointless meeting for a meal in these circumstances?

You are going to avoid meeting her because she doesn't speak English? Have you never been in this situation before?
Go a long, be friendly. Listen to your brother and his translation.

The languages she speaks have enough commonality with English you’ll be fine. It’s not the UN with contemporaneous translation of every utterance needed.

Im going to go against the grain a small bit here. I wouldn't meet them for dinner , maybe a coffee instead might be less awkward and of shorter duration 😅

Exactly. Perhaps the OP has never travelled or met anyone non English speaking before. It seems strange, though.

So she speaks Italian, French and Swiss German?
If she speaks German then she'll understand some English, I imagine, as there's similarities.
Could you learn a few phrases in one of her languages? Hello, nice to meet you. I don't speak [insert language] but [insert brother name] will help us out.

Can you not speak any French or German yourself? Even a few words of greeting? Get yourself on Duolingo in the interim.

No excuse at all.

My dad is English, my mum is Dutch. He spoke no Dutch and my grandmother spoke no English. They still managed to communicate.

Of course you should meet.

How about you buy her these as a gift. They might not be brilliant (the reviews are good though) but it might break the ice and be a bit of fun

Ai translator

Jesus….

She will have enough 'cross over' words in those three languages to understand a lot of what you say without being able to speak English.

The commonality within French, German and Italian with English is pretty high.

She WILL understand a lot of what you say and she will have foreign words with similar meanings that she can use that you will understand.

Trust me. You will be able to have a vague conversation with her even if she doesn't speak a word of English (which I suspect she will).

Okay I appreciate I'm being unreasonable.

I've never left the uk, not even on holiday and I live in a very homogenous small northern town where there are very few non English people let alone non English speaking people. So this is a new experience for me.

This is a good opportunity for you, then!

Just speak slowly and shout. Oh, and make sure you all go to a restaurant where you can order a full English or fish and chips …..

Embrace it. It may turn out fun.

Having a sense of humour about it all is a good thing.

You are not unreasonable in feeling awkward many would in your situation. But let it slide and allow the awkwardness it will soon go.

She may turn into a good friend in time.

Her standard of "not speaking English" is probably going to mean she will speak a bit! If she speaks German and Italian she will be able to muddle along with words

Are you joking?? If not, YABVVVVVVVU.

Communication is about so much more than speech. Fine if he will be translating, you can still read smiles, how they are together.

You sound a very negative person though so maybe it’s best you don’t meet. For their sakes.

My BIL doesn’t speak much English. I don’t speak much of his language. BIL and SIL have been together 11 years now, and we still manage to meet up for a 2 week holiday every year (they live in his home country). It’s fine, and we get by, helped by the fact that both of us speak a decent amount of a third language.
The thing that stands out is that you expect her to speak multiple languages but you only speak English. Why do you have higher expectations of her than you do of yourself?

This is a brilliant opportunity for you. Honestly you might not be able to have a standard conversation but you WILL be able to communicate.

It's a valuable experience in its own right.

As others have said, translation apps on Google etc are very good. We were once in an Italian village; we don’t speak Italian and the Italians speak very quickly, but we managed and had a great time! OP, I think you just feel a little daunted by the situation, but I promise you, it’ll be fine! After all, you’re your DB’s family - don’t you think she’ll be a bit nervous meeting his family for the first time? Just be friendly, and remember that a smile and eye contact go a long way!

If you have some knowledge of one of the languages can you learn some more of that? I'm doing duo lingo at the moment, with French, a language I learnt at school. It's surprising how quickly it's coming back and I'm learning new words each day now as well.

I get that it's a bit scary.
Smile lots, be friendly. Say hello in one of the languages. She might be nervous too!

Yabvvu - of course you should meet her. It's not about you.

Given where she's from and the languages she knows, when she says she doesn't speak English she might just mean she doesn't speak it to the standard of the other languages she knows. I'd be astonished if a young woman from that part of the world who is open minded enough to have a foreign boyfriend knew no English at all. Anyway, it's good you've recognised you were being unreasonable - hope you enjoy the evening!

I started German and Spanish with Duolingo. It's great for basics, including 'My bear is doing Yoga'. Seriously though, there are loads of learning resources out there.

Maybe she finds it weird you do t speak any of the 3 languages she does?!

Go. Learn her mother tongue and she's already started learning yours.

Then you'll be able to speak half the number of languages she does