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Original poster

Suspicions biological father has faked dna test...twice!

152 replies

Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 14:04

Name changed for this but looking for some input. Will try to include as much as i can without dripfeeding or boring you all. If iv missed anything let me know.

so,
I have a 15 yo daughter with a man who decided to vanish when i was pregnant and come in and out of my childs life. He never wanted me to go through with the pregnancy but i was 17 and i couldnt go through an abortion. I have a really supportive family who helped me through it all.
I actually chased him up all those years ago, i had to turn up to his work as it was the only way i could think of how to find him, i didnt know his surname as hed lied about this aswell as his age, and his partner! Well i went to introduce his daughter and he said hed step up. He came in and out of my daughters life. Hes permenantly out now, his choice.

I knew he was my childs father from day one, as did he!, but of course, he tried to deny at that point so I asked HIM for a dna test back then, ordered one to be sent out. He took one (not in front of me stupidly) came back he wasnt the father.
I demanded another, came back negative again! I have my suspicions hed used a friend to take the swabs as again i didnt see him take it. I still have the paperwork from the company we used. I was young and didnt think that someone could try to screw up a dna test, i didnt understand much back then! But now im sure this is fraud?

The thing is she is his daughter, he has admitted shes his, he says shes the spit and hes even been paying child support privately all these years. He has paid alot of money and no more questions asked from him. He actually pays over what the cms had calculated.

I havent seen him for about 10years (no clue where he is) but have been asking for him to go to a clinic for an authentic test, photo included, ID check etc. I'd like it on paper because hes made me feel like im insane all these years. Hes a prolific liar might I add. With two more kids and his partner knows about us but is on his side. May i add he dumped his daughter for this woman, no one else knows about my daughter.

We only communicate via email, thats all iv got, and he changes the subject or says he will do one but iv waited years and have repeatedly asked for a dna test.

Is this fraud?!!! And should i or can i take action. Its starting to wind me up because we deserve the truth seeing as both the previous tests came back negative. There was no other possibility i had someone elses child, he pays generously. Its all abit messed up. Im 33 now life is different and I guess i just want the truth. I feel betrayed and like i should have possibly taken action a long time ago.
Is there anything I can do?

thanks all.

OP posts:
BeachRide · 23/01/2025 14:07

Go through CSA. If he denies he's the father they'll make him take an accurate test. You might get less money though, depending on his income/other family. Your call.

pimplebum · 23/01/2025 14:09

if he is paying over the odds to support you it’s bonkers that he would fake a dna test , and then continue to pay ???
What an odd thing to do ?

i assume there is absolutely no chance the test could be true ??

pimplebum · 23/01/2025 14:09

If you are certain what was the point of the dna test ?

GiraffesAtThePark · 23/01/2025 14:10

pimplebum · 23/01/2025 14:09

if he is paying over the odds to support you it’s bonkers that he would fake a dna test , and then continue to pay ???
What an odd thing to do ?

i assume there is absolutely no chance the test could be true ??

Yes this.

Why fake it but continue to pay? Surely you’d take it to stop payments? I don’t get what fraud has been done if he gains nothing.

PandoraFrontier · 23/01/2025 14:12

Why? Honestly, why? What do you want to achieve? He’s paying you, you all know the truth. Not sure the point.

EmberAsh · 23/01/2025 14:14

If he has always paid more and yet still wants nothing to do with you or your daughter then surely he is faking the test results for someone else's benefit. He is trying to prove to a partner that he never cheated and doesn't have another child. I don't think you'll get him to back down on this easily.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 23/01/2025 14:15

I'm not sure what you want to achieve, OP.

If you didn't have sex with anyone else at the relevant time then you know he is the father.

And he's paying child maintenance.

Why do you need to prove he's the father with a DNA test?

gracietruman · 23/01/2025 14:17

But you have the truth if you know he was the only person you had sex with in the time frame you conceived. Why is this bothering you?

Original poster
Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 14:19

pimplebum · 23/01/2025 14:09

if he is paying over the odds to support you it’s bonkers that he would fake a dna test , and then continue to pay ???
What an odd thing to do ?

i assume there is absolutely no chance the test could be true ??

He is her father. And this is something I know as factual, but he has also admitted. Im confused why someone would do this.
He basically refuses to re take a test via a clinic but he has paid me every single month for years. Its odd behaviour.
Its deception surely to trick me into thinking she wasnt his. Thats messed with my head so much.

OP posts:
Curtainqueen · 23/01/2025 14:23

Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 14:19

He is her father. And this is something I know as factual, but he has also admitted. Im confused why someone would do this.
He basically refuses to re take a test via a clinic but he has paid me every single month for years. Its odd behaviour.
Its deception surely to trick me into thinking she wasnt his. Thats messed with my head so much.

Show quote history

What does your daughter want? Bearing in mind this is about her. I think you might need to take yourself and how you feel out of the equation.

SoftPillow · 23/01/2025 14:23

In your situation I would make peace with him being duplicitous, and take the money and move on. You know he’s the father, he knows, your family and child know, you don’t need a DNA test. You also know he has lied, again, whilst a DNA test proves this, it doesn’t make any material difference.

Stirring things up by forcing the issue will only unsettle you and risk your generous payment.

Whilst I know what he has done is infuriating, move on with your life and look forward, that would be my advice.

Original poster
Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 14:23

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 23/01/2025 14:15

I'm not sure what you want to achieve, OP.

If you didn't have sex with anyone else at the relevant time then you know he is the father.

And he's paying child maintenance.

Why do you need to prove he's the father with a DNA test?

Because surely faking a dna test is fraud? On two occasions. He tried to have me think he wasnt my childs father even though he is.
I just dont know how to move forwards from it. And surely you would go and retake the test for peace of mind and to have it scientifically proven??

OP posts:
Original poster
Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 14:26

Curtainqueen · 23/01/2025 14:23

What does your daughter want? Bearing in mind this is about her. I think you might need to take yourself and how you feel out of the equation.

Show quote history

She doesnt want to know him.

i guess i feel like iv been grieving all these years asking myself why would someone try to trick you in such a way.
i came to ask for some guidance.

OP posts:
SoftPillow · 23/01/2025 14:27

I believe it would be a civil case OP, not criminal.

Again, I suggest you try to find a way to move on from this. Who needs this ‘proof’? You know he’s is the father if you didn’t have sex with anyone else. He has admitted he is the father.

There is no material gain from pursuing it and rather lots of upset for you. I could only see it being an issue if you had to prove paternity for a will, but really, for your sake, I would leave it behind you.

parietal · 23/01/2025 14:27

Faking the test is only fraud if a court of law required him to take the test. There is no law against lying to an ex partner.

Ignore him and move on.

mrsm43s · 23/01/2025 14:28

I genuinely don't understand why this is such a big deal to you?
You know who her father is, he knows, she knows. He's paying up, what difference would a DNA test make?

Most children know who their father is without having to have a DNA test to prove it. My husband knows he's the father of our children without having a DNA to prove it!

Having a positive DNA test would change absolutely nothing.

SeaBaseAlpha · 23/01/2025 14:28

It will be because he's told his new partner he doesn't have any other children (i.e. he's told his partner that he's not really the dad), and cannot escape the lie. He's probably paying money to you without her knowledge.

Just forget about it, in my opinion. If you keep insisting on it then you may end up with far more complications in your life. Presumably right now you have the money coming in but with none of the additional hassle e.g. a custody fight.

Original poster
Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 14:29

Thankyou. I wanted to ask what others might think. Sounds like its best to keep taking the money and no more. There is no way we will ever make peace because of his actions.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 23/01/2025 14:30

Some people have no outward reason as to why they lie, I have a sibling that just lies and lies about the most inconsequential stuff, doesn't make any sense.
He has been paying you CM and continues to do so, so I doubt any court would give him a harsh punishment for lying or falsifying a test.
Your DD doesn't want to know him.
You know the truth, I'd leave it at the moment.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 23/01/2025 14:30

Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 14:23

Because surely faking a dna test is fraud? On two occasions. He tried to have me think he wasnt my childs father even though he is.
I just dont know how to move forwards from it. And surely you would go and retake the test for peace of mind and to have it scientifically proven??

Show quote history

Well you can do this if you go through CSA.

But you might end up with less money if he then pays you the CSA amount and no more.

Is it worth it for...what? It's not peace of mind unless there is actually a possibility that he is not your child's father. So what then? Just to prove a point? Force him to do something he doesn't want to do?

I can't see how it is fraud either. He doesn't appear to have faked the test to get out of paying what he owes.

pimplebum · 23/01/2025 14:31

I am confused why you want it proved when you are all certain ?

maybe he doesn’t like his dna being on some register ? Maybe frightens more children will come forward ?

in which case why did he even agree to do it ?
what explanation has he given when you discussed the unexpected outcome ?

this is mind boggling ?

gamerchick · 23/01/2025 14:33

I understand. But if you want to 'clear your name', you can. Use CSA. However the regular money will stop or be reduced if he's paying more so it could backfire on you

What does the bairn want?

OneDenimRobin · 23/01/2025 14:35

i guess i feel like iv been grieving all these years asking myself why would someone try to trick you in such a way.

How was he trying to ‘trick’ you? You’re the mother. You know who you had sex with. You know he’s her father.

You’ve given him too much headspace. You’re still caught up in it now, talking about fraud and peace of mind! Move on.

Sassybooklover · 23/01/2025 14:36

I suspect he faked DNA test results to 'prove' this partner, he hadn't cheated, the child wasn't his and that you lied. He's paying you child support privately and over the amount he needs to pay, because he knows if he stops paying, you could seek a DNA test via the CMS! There would be no hiding the result from his partner. I doubt very much his partner is aware he's paying you child support either. However, if a CMS DNA test result was positive, he may not necessarily be able to hide CMS payments coming out of his bank. The reference allocated to your payments, out of his bank account, could be named anything innocuous. His partner could look at his bank statements and see XX amount coming out per month but have no idea the reference relates to child support. If course he's not in your daughter's life, how can he be, if he's lied to his partner?! He can hardly be a doting Dad to a child, his partner knows nothing about. If those DNA tests were genuine or even if he'd faked them to avoid paying child support, why would he still be paying you, if the test says 'he's not the Dad's?! No man, would do that, and especially to a child, he doesn't even see. He's never going to take a DNA test, unless you force him too by the CMS or Courts. You both know the truth. Keep accepting the child support from him and forget about the DNA test. You aren't going to achieve much by going down the CMS or Court route, other than a lot of agro.

larkstar · 23/01/2025 14:38

Is there a relative of his that would take a test to confirm a link to him (if it was him that submitted his own sample) and ultimately to your daughter, for example - his mother, father, brother, sister?