Page 5 | Suspicions biological father has faked dna test...twice!

Chuchoter · 23/01/2025 20:22

What are the implications for inheritance if he dies?

mrsm43s · 23/01/2025 20:50

Chuchoter · 23/01/2025 20:22

What are the implications for inheritance if he dies?

Well unless she's still a dependent, when she might have a claim, his money will go to whomever he leaves it to in his will. It's unlikely to be her! There aren't any automatic rights to inheritance as a daughter except in a few specific circumstances.

yy99 · 23/01/2025 20:54

It's a civil issue.

Go to CMS. If he denies he is Dad, they will ask for DNA. He can't fake one of those tests. They are the same as court ordered ones.

Original poster

Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 21:37

nodramaplz · 23/01/2025 15:46

Why would he pay ?
Because he knows he cheated the test.

Op- what's involved in doing the test, what do you need from him?
Did he do it or just type his own letter

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I really wanted to have it in writing from a physical clinic, as opposded to postal, as i wasnt even with him to take it, both previous came back negative and i knew it was wrong. But for months i kept telling myself i must have made a mistake, like i was going mad. As other posters are saying am i sure hes the father , he is. He may well have typed the letter himself and posted it to me. I was 18.
i suppose it wont change anything by asking for it now, iv just never forgotten it to this day. Its knocked me a little.

OP posts:

yy99 · 23/01/2025 21:40

Is there any possibility at all OP that the child isn't his- be honest so we can help, no judgement. Was there anyone else you were intimate with in the same time frame?

Just trying to determine if your 100% certainty is because there is absolutely no other possibility.

From someone who's been through similar, I had to go to CMS to force a proper test.

Original poster

Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 21:45

Tamrastarr · 23/01/2025 15:55

I'm not sure how DNA tests work, but do the two tests match? I mean, do they show the same person, or just that it's not a match?

Both were a mismatch.
we purchased two tests online from a genuine company. He must have asked someone to take them on his behalf knowing it would come back like that. Once prehaps, but twice isnt a mistake. Thats why im so hung up about it i think. I only wanted the test redone at a clinic so i had scientific proof to put my mind at rest. The bloke has made me feel like im going crazy. I guess its not worth it now seeing as i do get support from him every month. Which im fortunate to have. Was mainly closure.

OP posts:

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 23/01/2025 21:47

Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 21:45

Both were a mismatch.
we purchased two tests online from a genuine company. He must have asked someone to take them on his behalf knowing it would come back like that. Once prehaps, but twice isnt a mistake. Thats why im so hung up about it i think. I only wanted the test redone at a clinic so i had scientific proof to put my mind at rest. The bloke has made me feel like im going crazy. I guess its not worth it now seeing as i do get support from him every month. Which im fortunate to have. Was mainly closure.

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I think what the other poster was asking is whether the same person took both DNA tests.

Original poster

Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 21:53

Alifetimeofdiagnoises · 23/01/2025 16:06

Did you sleep with anyone else around the time you got pregnant with your daughter? I haven’t seen you actually categorically say no I don’t think?

No.

OP posts:

Original poster

Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 22:18

RockOrAHardplace · 23/01/2025 18:24

He has something to hide OP, I agree with previous posters that he knows he is the Father and he wanted proof he was not to appease someone else and that is most likely his Partner.

There is no other rational reasons why he would be paying you, other than he knows he is Daddy.

Can I ask what the age difference is between you and him and if if he works in a role where he would have to have a DBS check?

Mentally I can see why this is messing with your head and its very contradictory and despite the fact that he is handing over the money, he won't let people know of his daughters (and therefore your) existence.. sometimes, even though common sense tells you to leave it, your emotions override that and you just can't put it down. This sounds like where you are.

Morally I totally get where you want it confirmed he is the Dad. Its not just about your daughter, you weren't much older than her when this happened to you and to have your relationship existence denied must be pretty difficult.

But unfortunately, you have to ask yourself why he is paying over the odds and I think that is because he wants to keep you quiet. That being the case if you publicly challenge him, he could pull the plug on the money If he is proven as the Father then he may just pay the basic and so you and your daughter lose out financially. They won't make him take the test if he offers to pay.

So in answer to your question about is it fraud to fake a DNA test, then the answer, can be yes, faking a DNA test in the UK is considered fraud. There have been several cases where individuals have been prosecuted and jailed for faking DNA tests to avoid responsibilities such as child support.. For example, a man was sentenced to 18 months in jail for faking a DNA test to avoid paying child support..

Liverpool dad faked DNA test to avoid paying child support - BBC News

Man jailed for faking DNA test to avoid paying child support for two sons | London Evening Standard | The Standard

So yes you could consider going this route but if he is in jail, he can't pay maintenance?? Also you need to think carefully about whether you have the evidence other than the circumstantial evidence that he pays maintenance. By this I mean do you have the details/letters from the two previous tests.

But then think carefully about your daughter having a Dad who will be a criminal and it will be in the press that he denied her, it might not name her, but she will still know. Can you do that to your daughter.

Does he have any brothers you can ask to do a familial test on - but again, they will tell him and he will know.

I think if I have been denied for 15 years I would want blood too but in truth, you will harm yourself and your child a great deal in the process and when all said and done, she is yours, not his so you have way more than he will ever get.

Basically you have each other by the short and curlies. .

I think your daughter knows she is loved and cared for by her Mum. She knows who her Dad is and when she is older and he has stopped paying maintenance for her, she can decide if she wants it out with him, when she is an adult because what you need to do is look after her best interests now.

Thankyou so very much for this really well thought out piece. Youv taken a great deal of your time to write it.
so i was 17 he said he was 20 but he was actually 26! Im not going to pursue it now but i believe i was groomed by him, which is another story! thats why i find this situation so incredibly challenging.
i love my daughter entirely, we have a lovely life together. And as some others have mentioned i wanted to do it for me. My daughter is free to make her own choices when shes 18 so i wont do anything she doesnt want.

i think in my title iv put "suspicious" more in the sense of im certain he did do this to tests. It was all before hed started paying anyway but it hasnt left me. I cannot understand why im holding on to it still. I know what happened but it has led me to believe im crazy.

this isnt about money, its about my daughter being accepted, she has a family who dont know she exists. I take the money because i am raising her afterall.

Also im not really comsidering inheritance here either, i couodnt care lesss about that.
thanks again, your super kind

OP posts:

Original poster

Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 22:37

yy99 · 23/01/2025 21:40

Is there any possibility at all OP that the child isn't his- be honest so we can help, no judgement. Was there anyone else you were intimate with in the same time frame?

Just trying to determine if your 100% certainty is because there is absolutely no other possibility.

From someone who's been through similar, I had to go to CMS to force a proper test.

Alot of people are assuming id slept with others when iv been quite honest. no there is no one else.

we both know we are her parents its just baffling and confusing (to me) why anyone would fake dna test results. And then pay all this child support. Is it so bad that i wanted him to take another test?

OP posts:

RockOrAHardplace · 23/01/2025 22:42

Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 22:18

Thankyou so very much for this really well thought out piece. Youv taken a great deal of your time to write it.
so i was 17 he said he was 20 but he was actually 26! Im not going to pursue it now but i believe i was groomed by him, which is another story! thats why i find this situation so incredibly challenging.
i love my daughter entirely, we have a lovely life together. And as some others have mentioned i wanted to do it for me. My daughter is free to make her own choices when shes 18 so i wont do anything she doesnt want.

i think in my title iv put "suspicious" more in the sense of im certain he did do this to tests. It was all before hed started paying anyway but it hasnt left me. I cannot understand why im holding on to it still. I know what happened but it has led me to believe im crazy.

this isnt about money, its about my daughter being accepted, she has a family who dont know she exists. I take the money because i am raising her afterall.

Also im not really comsidering inheritance here either, i couodnt care lesss about that.
thanks again, your super kind

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You know you are not crazy, how he has acted is not normal and its no wonder it affects you. But, there maybe a statute of limitations on how far back you can go and whether the DNA test companies still retain the evidence etc.

My concern is your well being, and I think before you do anything, you need counselling to help you come to terms with how you feel and whether or not it would be beneficial or destructive for you to take him to task legally.. Don't let him occupy your life for a moment longer, some people cannot be redeemed and I don't think he deserves it.

He is living in fear and it appears cannot admit to having a beautiful daughter and the joy that brings.. And just think about the lies he must tell to explain where all the money goes., he will be terrified of it all coming tumbling down. He is getting his just desserts with the constant fear he must experience.

Stay strong, know you are better than him and from the sounds of it, your daughter is better off without him..

SandyY2K · 23/01/2025 22:48

Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 14:39

I believe someone else took those two tests, because he purposely wanted to get a negative result so that he could dodge paying child support, that and to get us off the scene.

i guess i just wanted it proved because i find it quite upsetting to have the previous results that say he isnt. He only pays because i persued it.
maybe im being an idiot for wanting to get another test, it would have been to help me move on.
its not nice when the father of your child sabotages dna results to try to decieve you into believing they are not the father, for an 18yo girl thats really stressful.

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I understand how you feel. He's trying to make you out to be a liar.

He's lying about the test, but he knows deep down he's the father. I'm sure he's done a test that shows he IS the father and has kept that to himself.

Me being me, I'd let him know that you know the test results he produced are not true. That he is the father and you're disappointed that he's gone to these lengths to try and deny paternity, when HE KNOWS the truth.

Then I'd leave it at that.

InterIgnis · 23/01/2025 23:14

RockOrAHardplace · 23/01/2025 18:24

He has something to hide OP, I agree with previous posters that he knows he is the Father and he wanted proof he was not to appease someone else and that is most likely his Partner.

There is no other rational reasons why he would be paying you, other than he knows he is Daddy.

Can I ask what the age difference is between you and him and if if he works in a role where he would have to have a DBS check?

Mentally I can see why this is messing with your head and its very contradictory and despite the fact that he is handing over the money, he won't let people know of his daughters (and therefore your) existence.. sometimes, even though common sense tells you to leave it, your emotions override that and you just can't put it down. This sounds like where you are.

Morally I totally get where you want it confirmed he is the Dad. Its not just about your daughter, you weren't much older than her when this happened to you and to have your relationship existence denied must be pretty difficult.

But unfortunately, you have to ask yourself why he is paying over the odds and I think that is because he wants to keep you quiet. That being the case if you publicly challenge him, he could pull the plug on the money If he is proven as the Father then he may just pay the basic and so you and your daughter lose out financially. They won't make him take the test if he offers to pay.

So in answer to your question about is it fraud to fake a DNA test, then the answer, can be yes, faking a DNA test in the UK is considered fraud. There have been several cases where individuals have been prosecuted and jailed for faking DNA tests to avoid responsibilities such as child support.. For example, a man was sentenced to 18 months in jail for faking a DNA test to avoid paying child support..

Liverpool dad faked DNA test to avoid paying child support - BBC News

Man jailed for faking DNA test to avoid paying child support for two sons | London Evening Standard | The Standard

So yes you could consider going this route but if he is in jail, he can't pay maintenance?? Also you need to think carefully about whether you have the evidence other than the circumstantial evidence that he pays maintenance. By this I mean do you have the details/letters from the two previous tests.

But then think carefully about your daughter having a Dad who will be a criminal and it will be in the press that he denied her, it might not name her, but she will still know. Can you do that to your daughter.

Does he have any brothers you can ask to do a familial test on - but again, they will tell him and he will know.

I think if I have been denied for 15 years I would want blood too but in truth, you will harm yourself and your child a great deal in the process and when all said and done, she is yours, not his so you have way more than he will ever get.

Basically you have each other by the short and curlies. .

I think your daughter knows she is loved and cared for by her Mum. She knows who her Dad is and when she is older and he has stopped paying maintenance for her, she can decide if she wants it out with him, when she is an adult because what you need to do is look after her best interests now.

The details matter. In the case linked to above he agreed with the CMS to take a DNA test, then faked the doctor’s signature and submitted the faked test results to the CMS.

In OP’s case she asked him to take tests and sent at-home test kits to him. He didn’t fake a doctor’s signature and nor did he submit the results to the CMS. He would not be liable for criminal prosecution.

The CMS would be highly unlikely to request a court ordered DNA test if he refused one - they almost certainly wouldn’t. They would simply take his refusal as acknowledgment of paternity and order him to pay an amount less than what OP is receiving from him.

larkstar · 23/01/2025 23:28

A few generic conditions can be passed down from father to daughter without requiring maternal genetic contribution, e.g. Huntington's, Marfan syndrome and even BRCA mutations - could it be that he doesn't want you to know this? Otherwise I find the situation quite odd.

This podcast was only broadcast a few days ago - there's a very interesting bit in it where someone attempts to fake a DNA test - it's interesting to hear how and why they tried to do this.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0kkdttv

DrPrunesqualer · 23/01/2025 23:49

Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 22:37

Alot of people are assuming id slept with others when iv been quite honest. no there is no one else.

we both know we are her parents its just baffling and confusing (to me) why anyone would fake dna test results. And then pay all this child support. Is it so bad that i wanted him to take another test?

Show quote history

A persons dna is available for the police et all to view if they have reason to do so.
They must, I believe, prove in some way they need it.
Once it’s out there it is out there forever. Perhaps, like many people he just doesn’t want his dna out there.

I wouldn’t and I have nothing to hide.
It’s personal and he can’t be forced to give it in these circumstances.

RockOrAHardplace · 24/01/2025 08:32

InterIgnis · 23/01/2025 23:14

The details matter. In the case linked to above he agreed with the CMS to take a DNA test, then faked the doctor’s signature and submitted the faked test results to the CMS.

In OP’s case she asked him to take tests and sent at-home test kits to him. He didn’t fake a doctor’s signature and nor did he submit the results to the CMS. He would not be liable for criminal prosecution.

The CMS would be highly unlikely to request a court ordered DNA test if he refused one - they almost certainly wouldn’t. They would simply take his refusal as acknowledgment of paternity and order him to pay an amount less than what OP is receiving from him.

Edited

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All fair points but she asked if men got done for this and this answer is yes, but she has now said she will leave it.

HipToTheHopDontStop · 24/01/2025 11:54

RockOrAHardplace · 24/01/2025 08:32

All fair points but she asked if men got done for this and this answer is yes, but she has now said she will leave it.

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The answer is no

InterIgnis · 24/01/2025 14:21

RockOrAHardplace · 24/01/2025 08:32

All fair points but she asked if men got done for this and this answer is yes, but she has now said she will leave it.

Show quote history

The answer is no, because unlike the man convicted for fraud, OP’s ex did not commit any criminal act in pursuance of his objective. The crime wasn’t in the end goal, but in the means.

They are different situations and should not be conflated. That OP has decided to leave it does not mean she, or anyone reading this it may apply to, should be misinformed.

WallaceinAnderland · 24/01/2025 17:37

But for months i kept telling myself i must have made a mistake, like i was going mad.

How? How could you possibly think you made a mistake if you didn't have sex with anyone else?

Mumoushka · 24/01/2025 19:52

You could have your daughter do an Ancestry DNA test which has the biggest database and see what results you get for the paternal side. You may find a link to him through other relatives. You can also upload the Ancestry results to some other sites like MyHeritage which may also have links.

Waspalert · 24/01/2025 20:06

Let it go. Life’s too short and it’s really not good for your mental health or physical health to be consumed by this sort of thing. Focus on your family or you run the risk of becoming bitter and it’s just not worth it.

changeme4this · 24/01/2025 20:10

Is it normal for tests ordered on line and undertaken privately to be used to establish paternity where you live? I would have thought you would have had to attend a registered collection site and have nothing to do with handling the specimen?

I cannot see how you can expect him to undergo further testing when he is already paying you support and either unfortunately or fortunately you can’t make him be part of your daughter’s (and your) lives.

For whatever reason he has tried but it didn’t work at the time. He might be more open to it once you are out of the picture/daughter independent of you.

ChangeyerNameyer · 24/01/2025 20:17

By far the most likely answer is that he faked it to lie to a new partner. He thinks he’s buying your silence by paying more than the calculator says he owes. But I just watched Switched At Birth, have you seen it? Is it possible that your DD could have been mixed up with another baby in the hospital? It’s very,!very rare but there are real, documented cases of it happening.

Onemorenamechangeagain · 24/01/2025 20:32

Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 14:04

Name changed for this but looking for some input. Will try to include as much as i can without dripfeeding or boring you all. If iv missed anything let me know.

so,
I have a 15 yo daughter with a man who decided to vanish when i was pregnant and come in and out of my childs life. He never wanted me to go through with the pregnancy but i was 17 and i couldnt go through an abortion. I have a really supportive family who helped me through it all.
I actually chased him up all those years ago, i had to turn up to his work as it was the only way i could think of how to find him, i didnt know his surname as hed lied about this aswell as his age, and his partner! Well i went to introduce his daughter and he said hed step up. He came in and out of my daughters life. Hes permenantly out now, his choice.

I knew he was my childs father from day one, as did he!, but of course, he tried to deny at that point so I asked HIM for a dna test back then, ordered one to be sent out. He took one (not in front of me stupidly) came back he wasnt the father.
I demanded another, came back negative again! I have my suspicions hed used a friend to take the swabs as again i didnt see him take it. I still have the paperwork from the company we used. I was young and didnt think that someone could try to screw up a dna test, i didnt understand much back then! But now im sure this is fraud?

The thing is she is his daughter, he has admitted shes his, he says shes the spit and hes even been paying child support privately all these years. He has paid alot of money and no more questions asked from him. He actually pays over what the cms had calculated.

I havent seen him for about 10years (no clue where he is) but have been asking for him to go to a clinic for an authentic test, photo included, ID check etc. I'd like it on paper because hes made me feel like im insane all these years. Hes a prolific liar might I add. With two more kids and his partner knows about us but is on his side. May i add he dumped his daughter for this woman, no one else knows about my daughter.

We only communicate via email, thats all iv got, and he changes the subject or says he will do one but iv waited years and have repeatedly asked for a dna test.

Is this fraud?!!! And should i or can i take action. Its starting to wind me up because we deserve the truth seeing as both the previous tests came back negative. There was no other possibility i had someone elses child, he pays generously. Its all abit messed up. Im 33 now life is different and I guess i just want the truth. I feel betrayed and like i should have possibly taken action a long time ago.
Is there anything I can do?

thanks all.

Why did he lie about his age??

Onemorenamechangeagain · 24/01/2025 20:40

Makeitmakesense103 · 23/01/2025 22:18

Thankyou so very much for this really well thought out piece. Youv taken a great deal of your time to write it.
so i was 17 he said he was 20 but he was actually 26! Im not going to pursue it now but i believe i was groomed by him, which is another story! thats why i find this situation so incredibly challenging.
i love my daughter entirely, we have a lovely life together. And as some others have mentioned i wanted to do it for me. My daughter is free to make her own choices when shes 18 so i wont do anything she doesnt want.

i think in my title iv put "suspicious" more in the sense of im certain he did do this to tests. It was all before hed started paying anyway but it hasnt left me. I cannot understand why im holding on to it still. I know what happened but it has led me to believe im crazy.

this isnt about money, its about my daughter being accepted, she has a family who dont know she exists. I take the money because i am raising her afterall.

Also im not really comsidering inheritance here either, i couodnt care lesss about that.
thanks again, your super kind

Show quote history

Ah, now I see why