Suspicions biological father has faked dna test...twice!

[Makeitmakesense103]

Name changed for this but looking for some input. Will try to include as much as i can without dripfeeding or boring you all. If iv missed anything let me know.

so,
I have a 15 yo daughter with a man who decided to vanish when i was pregnant and come in and out of my childs life. He never wanted me to go through with the pregnancy but i was 17 and i couldnt go through an abortion. I have a really supportive family who helped me through it all.
I actually chased him up all those years ago, i had to turn up to his work as it was the only way i could think of how to find him, i didnt know his surname as hed lied about this aswell as his age, and his partner! Well i went to introduce his daughter and he said hed step up. He came in and out of my daughters life. Hes permenantly out now, his choice.

I knew he was my childs father from day one, as did he!, but of course, he tried to deny at that point so I asked HIM for a dna test back then, ordered one to be sent out. He took one (not in front of me stupidly) came back he wasnt the father.
I demanded another, came back negative again! I have my suspicions hed used a friend to take the swabs as again i didnt see him take it. I still have the paperwork from the company we used. I was young and didnt think that someone could try to screw up a dna test, i didnt understand much back then! But now im sure this is fraud?

The thing is she is his daughter, he has admitted shes his, he says shes the spit and hes even been paying child support privately all these years. He has paid alot of money and no more questions asked from him. He actually pays over what the cms had calculated.

I havent seen him for about 10years (no clue where he is) but have been asking for him to go to a clinic for an authentic test, photo included, ID check etc. I'd like it on paper because hes made me feel like im insane all these years. Hes a prolific liar might I add. With two more kids and his partner knows about us but is on his side. May i add he dumped his daughter for this woman, no one else knows about my daughter.

We only communicate via email, thats all iv got, and he changes the subject or says he will do one but iv waited years and have repeatedly asked for a dna test.

Is this fraud?!!! And should i or can i take action. Its starting to wind me up because we deserve the truth seeing as both the previous tests came back negative. There was no other possibility i had someone elses child, he pays generously. Its all abit messed up. Im 33 now life is different and I guess i just want the truth. I feel betrayed and like i should have possibly taken action a long time ago.
Is there anything I can do?

thanks all.

Why do you need further proof - surely you know if you had sex with someone else or not around conception? If you didn't then you know he's the father. If he is paying maintenance then he knows too.

I saw an article about a man who went to jail for trying to trick his partner with a dna test hence why iv asked if this would be seen as fraud.

To commit fraud there would have to be financial gain to him.

Are you 100% certain that he is the father? You did not have sex with any other man around the same time?

I was going to suggest this. Test yourself and your daughter on ancestry, and all her matches that don’t match you will be on her fathers side. It doesn’t matter if he hasn’t tested, you can triangulate who he is based on more distant relations like cousins.

You will have to build a basic family tree on there to get the most out of it, but there’s plenty of help/forums out there that can walk you through it.

Why would he pay ?
Because he knows he cheated the test.

Op- what's involved in doing the test, what do you need from him?
Did he do it or just type his own letter

OP, is he on your daughter's birth certificate as her father?

Op, I'd be the same.
Get hair from him some how, send your own test.
Do it for you.

Now that is illegal without consent

She could do this but the op should be aware there may be other half siblings that come out of the woodwork…the daughter has the right to do this if she needs and wants to in future but mum shouldn’t be doing it on her behalf without her consent.

I'm not sure how DNA tests work, but do the two tests match? I mean, do they show the same person, or just that it's not a match?

If you know he is the father (ie there is no other possible father) then you aren't suspicious he is cheating the test , you know he is cheating the test

Given that you’d lose money if you went through CMS I’d leave it as a private arrangement for now and use some of that money for some counselling to help you to understand why you’re feeling so upset about this after so long.

I appreciate that it’s a horrible situation, but the fact is that he pays and this is him admitting that she’s his child. You absolutely know that he wouldn't be paying you anything, let alone over the odds, if he thought there was even a chance she wasn’t his. He just didn’t want it on record anywhere, which was his own shitty attitude to bear and doesn’t change the facts that you and your DD know. Maybe wait until she’s 18 and then if she wants to chase it up for her own peace of mind once it will no longer affect the CMS payments she can do that. If his other kids know about her and are accepting or curious they could even help her by doing the DNA test instead of him?

There was a case in the US a woman found out the children she gave birth to weren't biologically her's but were her husband's. They even had someone witness her give birth to one of her children and do a DNA straight away. To prove they were her child.

Turns out she was a fraternal twin but the twin passed early on and she absorbed the twins DNA. The DNA collected from her mouth as it's usually collected was different to her DNA in her reproductive system. So she gave birth to her unborn twins children.

This could be about his wider family and possibly inheritance if his parents have wills leaving money to grandchildren.

Why pay child support for a child you have "evidence" isn't yours?

The CSA would request he take a paternity test if he disputed paternity with them, but he could refuse. The refusal would be taken as acknowledgment of paternity. The CMS would be unlikely to apply for a court ordered DNA test, and a court would be very unlikely to force him to take a test.

Given that he’s been paying you privately, you would end up losing money.

Your daughter could do 24 and me and / or ancestors and make contact with relatives who may wish to have contact

maybe his parents would like contact ?

I can totally understand why you are upset over this

Did you sleep with anyone else around the time you got pregnant with your daughter? I haven’t seen you actually categorically say no I don’t think?

OP, you need counseling. All this happened years ago. You really need to get past it. What he did was wrong, but there is no point in pursuing it unless he stops paying.

And FYI, if he used the test to get out of paying, then legally it would be fraud. But he's paying, so you have not suffered any injury in legal terms. He's a dick, but being a dick isn't illegal.

How?

If you knew there was no possibility your child could have been fathered by anyone else why would it mess with your head?

The fact he's been paying for years is an admission of responsibility. No man voluntarily pays maintenance for a child they don't think is theirs.

What are you hoping to achieve?

gently OP my opinion is, take his money, distance yourself, your DD doesn’t want to know him. He is not worth your anguish.

Do not do this. Don’t give your daughter’s DNA to a commercial entity when she is not able to consent. If she wants to do this when she’s 18, then fine - but once you’ve sent it there’s no retracting it and it’s not yours to send.

And I’m not some conspiracy theorist - I’ve used Ancestry.com’s DNA service, but that was my choice for my DNA.

Oh ffs.

You've said she has no doubts about her paternity. After being in and out of her life he has finally fucked off for good and she's had stability for years. Now you want to upend all of that and open this can of worms just because it upset you that he faked his tests. It's all for you and completely against her best interests.

He’s committed a crime in the past and does not want his DNA on file.

What do you mean? Money down the line, inheritance when he dies!