AIBU to ask what SAHMs do all day

[Ticktockk]

Because I’m struggling a bit. Due to various circumstances I’m not working at the moment. All kids are in school all day. I walk the dog, do the washing, tidy up a bit. And then what do I do? Sometimes I go to the gym or do a bit of my hobby. I feel like I don’t have a raison d’être. But the house is very clean!

How do you pass the time? Shall I start an expensive gin habit?! Joking aside though, I’m finding it hard.

Hardly extreme. I did drop by but had multiple questions and responses 😂 no children aren't on here so that doesn't make sense.

not knowing what you do, it makes no sense at all.

It does come across as someone who has an awfully low job and is miserable about it, and very bitter about anyone who has a better life.

I don't think many aspire to be jobless so that doesn't make sense.
many people have enough interests and intelligence not to need a "job" to have a life 😂, and don't need a job title to feel any kind of importance.

My DC are much more proud of what I have achieved in doing voluntary work after having them, than my degree and professional work. (DS followed in our footsteps, in his choice of career and he knows how hard it is).

Ah, yes. Well, you haven't actually answered a single question, just continued being rude, so you're not exactly covering yourself in glory. If I was doing your performance review I'd certainly find plenty of room for improvement.

And my point was, since you're so concerned about setting an example for the children, being generally loathsome seems to not be ideal. Or does it only matter what you do in front of them?

Do you have a genuinely helpful suggestion for the OP?

Voluntary work is worthwhile and isn't dossing.

A better life is definitely not dossing around for over a decade and planning on continuing it, come on now 😂

Goodness, that is some prolific posting for someone just 'dropping by'. It's almost like you don't really have a job at all (internet trolling is only considered one if you're paid by the Russians).

Although there was a nearly 2 hour break between 11 and 1. Was that your lunch break? Nap time?

09:00
09:25
09:53
09:54
10:02
10:09
10:13
10:16
10:23
10:38
10:44
11:09
11:13
13:06
13:30
14:05
14:24
14:31
14:42
14:53
15:15
16:27
16:36
16:48
16:54
16:55

Why is there a list of times 🤔

I don't think many aspire to be jobless so that doesn't make sense.
Loads of people dream of winning the lottery so they can afford to be jobless!

Those, dear, are all the times you just 'dropped by'

Whattttt? No way did someone write down all of the time stamps on my replies then copy and paste them onto a comment.. 😂😂😂 stop

Yup. I'm fast. Good at things. Which is why I was able to make enough money to stop working and be a SAHM for as long as I wanted.

Don't you have some important role-modelling work to get to?

That's the oddest thing I've seen on here in a while 😂

still no answer to any of the questions, so you ARE on a wind up aren't you?

Good to see you've given up the pretence of being employed. Ok, off to make supper.

Have a nice night. Isn't it about time for you to get back to role-modelling?

Bye.

I've replied to everyone.

What an odd creature 😂 never seen anything like it.

Find a job. That or do some volunteering. Most SAHMs have young DC. However, I stayed at home till my oldest DC was 10, the younger 6. Mind, this is the late 80s. I did two OU short courses (one on the pre-school childs, so SAHM-related, one a year long science course, out of interest). I started writing a novel (I am now an indie publisher and have published that much-revised first novel and people have bought it on Kindle). I did two Masters degrees (one work related,so it got me a job eventually, the other to help me over a bereavement). I was politically active, stood in local elections, joined in various campaigns (one was to stop our cottage hospital maternity wing closing), joined the Civic Society, was on various committees, did a water colour evening class (I still water colour - hobby), as well as one on astronomy and one on the history of art. A bit of gym and swimming (I went to swimming lessons at some point, but may have been back at work by then). I also cooked everything from scratch, made my own bread, jams and preserves, and did a bit of sewing. I was helped in that many women around me were also at home rather than at work, of course. Sadly, LAs no longer do things like water colour courses/art history/astromomy because they don't lead to a job (philistines) but there are local clubs that do them, or other art/science courses.

I also ran my household, kept the social calendar going, looked after DC (but never helped them with homework, except when it happened to be family history one year). I am a teacher btw.
I much preferred being at home to teaching, which I disliked, and deeply resented neo-liberal economics which did not value the input to society I made since it was not paid work. That this attitude was seconded by my ex-DH is one reason why he is ex.
That said, you could get a job - if you can find one to fit round school hours (that does not include teaching btw).

It’s even worse when your kids get older and don’t need you to do the school run and things you have to do as a parent for younger children.
I get up do what needs doing around the house housework, beds, washing etc. I then get dressed and go for a walk, then when I get in I sit on the sofa with a cup of tea and I read for a couple of hours, it’s bliss. After that the teens arrive home and it’s madness again. Rinse and repeat

That’s one of the tricky things about finding a job as I am also a teacher. It feels a bit, I dunno, ‘weird’ to look at other jobs when you’ve always been a teacher and SLT but I think the suggestions above to find something part-time/school hours are a good idea, and/or offering to help out in a school/look at governance.
Thanks to this thread I’ve discovered there are so many amazing adult courses in our area. Definitely something to think about.

I didn’t mean to jump down your throat but it grated a bit - you wouldn’t have known because it’s Mumsnet, but I’ve pretty much dedicated myself to my SEN child 24/7 for the past year due to various reasons. I’ve been teacher, speech therapist, OT, physio all rolled into one. And of course spent much time over their whole life supporting, researching, etc. I’m now getting help with their education and therapies hence the unexpected free time.

The the free time is really really valuable. Not least because it may not be available for long. If it was me I’d get the paperwork in order and filing system for endless reports set up and teach someone else how to do it too (eg dp). Get really fit, because it’s easier to maintain than start if you have a dependent you can’t leave. Retrain or find a new job that you can do part time or around your child’s day. Get a thorough medical done if there are any niggling things. Work hard to form a group of friends while you have time for them.

@Ticktockk a lot of SHAMS have under 5s at home, so they will be doing the care of these children. Doing chores and other daily tasks. They will have really busy days where they hardly get to sit and other days when will have less busy days. Part time working mums will quite often say, I am going to work for a rest.

Find a hobby. Maybe a group/class.

My little one is 2 so I spend my day trying to clean and picking toys up 1000 times a day 😂

I recently reduced my working week to two days, absolutely loving it and so far have been reorganising, de cluttering and sorting the house! I've never had the time before and am absolutely loving the new found order, zero clutter and tidiness in the area's I have done so far. Still plenty to do and three lofts to do so will be busy for some time yet....... Will keep an eye on this thread for ideas as to what to do next, although suspect I will increase to three days. Summer isn't far off, I suspect lawn mowing will feature 🤣