AIBU to ask what SAHMs do all day

[Ticktockk]

Because I’m struggling a bit. Due to various circumstances I’m not working at the moment. All kids are in school all day. I walk the dog, do the washing, tidy up a bit. And then what do I do? Sometimes I go to the gym or do a bit of my hobby. I feel like I don’t have a raison d’être. But the house is very clean!

How do you pass the time? Shall I start an expensive gin habit?! Joking aside though, I’m finding it hard.

Schools here don’t use parent helpers.

I don't work and have adult kids still at home. I go to the gym in the morning, run a few errands/food shop, then make a lovely home cooked meal for everyone for later. Just back from a month long trip with dh.

Lol! Is this aimed at me? What a comment.

I was serious actually. You said you have a child with SEN. I’d use that time to set up the stuff that the dc needs to achieve. In my experience it takes aaaaaages. I guess it depends what the challenges they face are.

The reason I ended up a sahm is related to mental health so I try and ensure I get some time for exercise/art therapy.

I have regular breakfast/lunch dates with friends.

I do lots of volunteering. Home Start, I chair the Trustees for a charity, help at the school in various capacities including breakfast club and the pta and I help at a couple of extra curriculars my kids attend. On a particularly busy week, I probably spend around 18 hours volunteering.

Studying. I gained another degree and did 3 stand alone courses as well through the OU. I'm learning my grandfather's mother tongue along with my daughter. I learnt to knit.

For my sanity, I like structure so I run off to-do lists.

Unemployed implies you're looking for work. I'm not.

Jobless then.

Is the term Housewife not used when your children have grown up and you don't work because you're not looking for work

I don’t think I do enough around the house for that to be applicable to me. 😂 I’ll stick with SAHM or early retired.

Exactly. I am not unemployed, I'm a part time OU student.

ok then 🙄

Jobless then.
IME people still tend to equate jobless with looking for work and helpfully suggest jobs I might like.
Whereas if I say I'm a SAHM then we all know where we are.

SAHM is for mums that stay at home to look after the children though, if they aren't there and mum is still not working then they're jobless.

Prep epic meals from scratch, volunteer, read and do yoga. This is what a I do during the 6 hours a week my daughter is in nursery! The rest of the time I'm her minion.

I'm a SAHM but have a toddler at home so out days are toddler groups, errands and housework so not what you are after.

I've always thought if I was with school age children I would love to bake bread and homemade treats and set up elaborate craft activities for the kids when they get back from school. I'd also like to volunteer with a soup kitchen or similar once a week.

Housewife?

Or homemaker?

Come on now 🤦‍♀️ it's jobless.. there's no excuse and it's a terrible example to set.

What is?

🤣 Same.

I’ve just been telling my partner than someone suggested I should be called a ‘homemaker’. He said that doesn’t really describe me, not sure whether to laugh or be offended. 🤔 🤣

that's your definition, it's a free country, it doesn't really matter what YOU have decided it means 😂

care to elaborate?

Not working when kids start school and continuing the jobless phase the whole 12+ years they're in school and beyond.

It's OK not to be productive and busy all off the time.

Maybe rota in some time to relax on some of the days.

Not working when kids start school and continuing the jobless phase the whole 12+ years they're in school and beyond.
A bad example for who?