AIBU to ask what SAHMs do all day

[Ticktockk]

Because I’m struggling a bit. Due to various circumstances I’m not working at the moment. All kids are in school all day. I walk the dog, do the washing, tidy up a bit. And then what do I do? Sometimes I go to the gym or do a bit of my hobby. I feel like I don’t have a raison d’être. But the house is very clean!

How do you pass the time? Shall I start an expensive gin habit?! Joking aside though, I’m finding it hard.

Go back to work?

Sorry I just saw you can't.
Volunteer? Study?

I studied for a degree while mine were at school.

Second the suggestions so far

and - volunteer in some way at the school? Be a parent governor

I could clear/sort/clean in my house all day every day without running out of activities! I have a couple of volunteer roles too, maybe pick something up in the meantime? One fully remote one not. Set up an Etsy store, if you have any craft skills? Write a novel?!

I have a string of lovers ....

I would say that most SAHMs are not in a similar position to you because they will have lots of things taking up all of their time. Often it will be a DC with SEN or a DH working very long hours and therefore virtually everything needs doing by the SAHM. Or elderly parents. Something like that - I don’t know any SAHM who are struggling to fill time.

I used to volunteer for a charity (still do, but work as well now), volunteer for the school, meet part-time-working friends for coffee and a walk, see my parents, run errands, paint walls and stuff around the house, occasionally have a day out to London or something. Happy times!

I do have a dc with Sen and a husband who I works very long hours, but it’s a quiet patch right now. We’re coming out of a very hectic time which is why I think I’m struggling with the transition.

Some great ideas above, thank you. I’m going to go and investigate some volunteer roles after kids bedtime.

I would - run more, walk the dog, make a healthy elaborate lunch, sort out the house, go to the gym, bake, meet friends for coffee/lunch, go to London for some culture, garden, volunteer. Loads!

I work part time and even then I struggle to fit things in. I think with kids at school I’d need to do something for my self worth - so volunteering or doing a house up or a project. But I wouldn’t struggle to fill my days if I parked my ego aside.

On Mondays and Fridays I always go to the gym.

Tuesday is the day I clean downstairs very thoroughly. Wednesdays upstairs gets the same treatment.

On Thursdays I do the food shop.

Obviously these things don’t take all day. I do have bits of tidying and cleaning to do and laundry of course, things like taking pets to the vet and so on. I also read, watch TV, just enjoy myself.

I did cooking, cleaning, crafting, sewing,
decorating , gardening, ferrying kids to classes/clubs, seeing my mum, coffee with friends daily, homework
Best time of my life 😀

I used to volunteer regularly in school - listening to DCs reading, cooking, sewing etc. I also helped if they were going on local trips. Working parents liked to take a whole day off to help on the big trips, but it was difficult for them to get time for eg the local library.

I did all the stuff that was easier to do without the DCs - admin, food shopping, cleaning, decorating etc

Prepped dinner or whatever was needed to fit round what ever after school activities where on. Supervised homework

Helped with Cubs/brownies/dance when needed.

Stuff for me - exercise, haircut, medical appointments, socialising, hobbies etc

If I were a SAHM I would need to find a project or projects, personally, as I'm not good at just "being": I have to have things to do and with the exception of cooking I don't really enjoy housework. If you have time on your hands it could be a great opportunity to try your hand at something new. Learn an instrument, do a degree, get really fit, volunteer. The world's your oyster.

If DC are at school for approx 6 hours a day with travel time to school you are probably looking at 5.5 hours to fill.
I'd have no problem with that!
Go for a walk,
Any non working friends or relatives you can meet for coffee ?
Go to the gym/for a swim
Read a book
Take up a hobby
Volunteer
Do pamper session, face mask etc
Occasionally catch up with some tv/box set
Reorganise a cupboard
Clean so no housework at weekend
Ditto washing and ironing
Ditto gardening
Ditto grocery shopping
All house admin, appts, insurance renewal, bill paying, holiday planning, birthday/Christmas organising etc
Maybe some decorating.
Honestly it's easy to fill approx 5.5 hours.
I think you need some structure and plan your day and also meet friends, get out and meet people so it's not really isolating

Lots of my SAHM friends do food bank volunteering- sorting stock etc. They always need people and it’s quite flexible.

Part time study? There are some great courses you could do.

To be fair meeting friends isn’t easy as most people are at work! You kind of have to tap into a local SAHM / very PT parent network.

Useful things:
I helped family and friends, covering sick days for little ones, or getting them from school if mum was running a bit behind.
Did grocery runs for my neighbour when I did mine (no delivery available there).

Sort of useful because it made a bit of cash:
Went thrifting for fun, going to yard sales, vintage shops, estate sales and such looking for items to flip.

Got hobbies:
Baked way too much.
Started beachcombing.
Turned my livingroom into a jungle

Not helpful things:
Began to isolate
Drank and ate too much

I have to say, while I enjoyed being home, I am also enjoying being back at work.

Yeah, this. I now work part-time, but I was purely SAH for years, and I never struggled to fill the time. Before the DC started school life was very full-on just managing their needs (both ND) and keeping home life ticking over. Now they’re both at school but my mum has health issues and needs more care. I rarely have an unoccupied moment, there’s always stuff that needs doing.

Enjoy the mental peace of not having to be in the workplace 😩

Clean, as you are 😅

Cook meals from scratch - try recipes from around the world. I'm cooking some new foods this year 🥰

Learn a language?

If you do everything so you are available for the kids when they finish school, you don't actually have that much time left for a start. No more wasting time making diner and so on, it's already done.

Add a bit of exercising for you, and the things you normally do at the weekend, and the day is gone.

Schools are always desperate for volunteers, clubs even more.

I would find time to get some qualifications, so when you look back, you can see that you've actually achieved something.

I'm a sahm to a 5 and 3 year old .5 year old at school and three year old at preschool 2 days a week. The days I'm with 3 year old we go to local baby groups some days or we play together at home. Go for walks with friends and coffee at our local community centre. The 2 days I have to myself while she is at preschool I do a deep clean and have some me time. I was working part time up untill a few months ago and will probably be back to that this September when youngest starts school so just enjoying it while I can at the moment. But it does get boring! 😂

See friends, family, do fun things for when the kids get home, do my hobbies and interests, cook from scratch etc. I'm never bored.

The more of your good ideas I read, the more I realise half my problem is guilt at the idea of doing fun things while DH is working so hard. So maybe my first step is to get over that!
Love the idea of learning something new.

Go ultra processed food free - making everything from scratch will take you ages!