My whole family forgot my birthday

[Oopsadaisy92]

Kind of light hearted but my brother, my parents and most importantly my DH have all forgotten to wish me happy birthday today. At time of writing it's 14.30.

Just to confirm my birthday is on the 22nd of January... I haven't got my dates mixed up and it's like the 21st today or something??

Also - any ideas on being petty? I feeling like letting them all know at this point needs something big so it doesn't look desperate for attention 🤣

Any chance they are planning a surprise for later?

It is 22

Go buy yourself a birthday cake, light some candles and sing to yourself.

That should be a big enough hint

I never quite understand the birthday posts on MN.
Have you asked for any presents? Mentioned going out for a meal or doing something special for dinner?
If the answer is no and you were just waiting to see whether or not they remembered, then I feel you are partly to blame.

If they haven't mentioned it by the end of the day, then yanbu. Is there any chance they have stuff on today and are waiting to get in to call you up/surprise you or something? There is still time.

That seems a bit harsh. Assuming the OP isn’t in a NC/LC type relationship with her family and DH I think it’s a fairly normal expectation for them to at least wish her a happy birthday!

I always think that doing this - pretending to forget and then having a "surprise" later - is really mean. It can actually spoil a person's day.

Happy birthday @Oopsadaisy92

Don't make any effort with any of them this year if there's no lovely surprises later.

Can you pop out & get some favourite treats for yourself for later? And don't cook for DH. He can get a takeaway for both of you with loads of apologies.

OP have you heard the comedy song “I’ve got hurt feelings” by Flight of the Conchords. Maybe play that on loud? It’s funny so at the very least it’ll make you smile. And happy birthday! 🥳 If they don’t make any suggestions take yourself off loudly for a treat xx

It's a tragically low bar to have to expect to have to remind your parents and the person who is supposed to love you most in the world about your birthday or be blamed for them forgetting.

I suppose it takes nothing to just say happy birthday - even a text, sometimes it's these little things that can mean the most.

Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday OP!

it isn’t too much to ask to expect people to remember on their own, especially with electronic reminders etc. I make a point of writing all family birthdays on the kitchen calendar for the year, so there is no possible excuse for my forgetful DH.

Ah, Happy Birthday OP x 🎂

What are you doing today? Any chance there'll be a little surprise later? Are they the type to pretend they forgot and surprise you?

Load of bullshit. The very least you should expect from a partner is a happy birthday and a card without needing to prompted!!

Sings loudly and badly.... Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Oopsadaisy92, Happy Birthday to you.

My dog is now looking at me like i've really lost the plot, which of course I have but I hope it managed to give you a little smile 😁

Take yourself out for cocktails and set up a Whatsapp group with them all with pictures captioned 'Happy Birthday to me'.

Make a night of it with dinner and a show or cinema.

Is it a significant birthday? Could they be planning something? Even though it's pretty shitty to not even say happy birthday, quick text.

my parents and brother forgot mine last year but they do have memory issues so I kind of let it go - they all got calendars for their Christmas box 😂

Happy birthday @Oopsadaisy92

I don't know what I'd do, but I'd be equally upset.

Even in the unlikely event they have planned a surprise, pretending you've all forgotten entirely and making someone sad all day on their birthday is a complete dick move.

(I've never said to anyone 'I want presents for my birthday'. It's kind of a given, surely. Of course if there's something particular I might like, I'd mention it, but if not I don't expect to have to tell people I'd like an unspecified gift!)

Happy birthday @Oopsadaisy92, I'm really hoping that your family will pull their fingers out later!
It's also my DD's birthday today so I am sending you a virtual slice of her cake, I am taking it round at teatime. All the people that I have known to share her birthday have been lovely so I will add you to my nice list 😊

Solidarity op, I got to about 25 and used to actively ask for phone calls for my birthday. Gave up on that a few years later when they continued not to bother. Idk why it's so hard. I'm married now and my husband's family never forget 🥰

Sorry you were hoping for better xx

I wouldn't expect you to have to remind people but hasn't your birthday come up in the course of general conversation with you DH over the last few weeks? For example, "I hate January but at least we have an excuse to go out for my birthday", or " I fancy going to that new restaurant/to see the film etc. shall we go on my birthday?". I love my birthday so can't imagine never mentioning it.

Happy birthday 🥳

We generally don't buy cards for each other...waste of money that ends up in the bin!

My parents and brother will pass on a card when I see them. This might be before my birthday but is often after. I also might only remember to send a birthday text in the evening if I happen to look at the calendar!

I just wondered if this was going to be one of the many birthday posts where the poster says no one does anything, but doesn't set out their expectations.

Earlier in the week I would have said for my birthday can we get takeaway as it's a weeknight. Or as my birthday is midweek, can we go for a meal the weekend after?
As I do the shopping I would have bought my own cake!

Anyway, I do hope you have a good birthday and manage to perhaps treat yourself to dinner tonight.

Totally. I don’t get this at all.

That's awful OP!

Personally (I can be petty...) I'd say nothing at all. Then at 9pm be like so where is my bday card/gift? Amd be fuming they forgot

Oh and Happy Birthday from me 🎂

Happy birthday @Oopsadaisy92

You shouldn't have to remind people with hints of presents/ cards. I am really bad at remembering when things are.... So I put diary reminders in for the important things. Frankly I would not be light-hearted about it in the least.