Page 3 | My whole family forgot my birthday

Oopsadaisy92 · 2025-01-22T14:31:07+00:00

Kind of light hearted but my brother, my parents and most importantly my DH have all forgotten to wish me happy birthday today. At time of writing it's 14.30. Just to confirm my birthday is on the 22nd of January... I haven't got my dates mixed up and it's like the 21st today or something?? Also - any ideas on being petty? I feeling like letting them all know at this point needs something big so it doesn't look desperate for attention 🤣

Original poster

Oopsadaisy92 · 22/01/2025 15:29

Lavenderfarmcottage · 22/01/2025 15:27

Don’t divorce your husband - I think PP got her trending threads mixed up.

Just replace him for the day with these guys…

Love it 🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:

Lavenderfarmcottage · 22/01/2025 15:30

Oopsadaisy92 · 22/01/2025 15:27

Tbf my mother forgot my 18th 🙃 so the form is there...

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Hmmmm sounds like she’s a scatter brain or not prioritising life. Your husband too. Maybe their gift to you is an opportunity to reflect on whether you’re treated well in these relationships xoxo

Itsjustnotthevibe · 22/01/2025 15:30

Happy birthday!

My brother never messages on my birthday but will always pop in at some point that week to give a card/present so I would potentially give them a bit more time. I would be pissed off if DH forgot though and he would definitely have some making up to do.

Whatsitreallylike · 22/01/2025 15:30

Oopsadaisy92 · 22/01/2025 15:27

Tbf my mother forgot my 18th 🙃 so the form is there...

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Happy birthday OP. Sorry your family forgot… but forgetting your 18th is actually savage! My DD is only 2 and I’ve already had some thoughts about what I’ll do for her 18th 😂😂

Hope they make it up to you!

Original poster

Oopsadaisy92 · 22/01/2025 15:31

FinallyHere · 22/01/2025 15:26

I grew up in a culture where the norm is that the birthday person when adult makes the celebration. The level of input I was allowed grew from when I was a child, as I became a teenager. It was a major market of my growing into an independent adult has I had more control each year

As adults, this would encompass bringing cakes into work, buying a round of drinks to hosting dinner or even greater event to celebrate.

This might be why the idea of relying on other adults to facilitate my birthday celebrations seems so infantilising. And if MN is anything to go by, the source of so much angst and disappointment. It also means that I get to set the budget for each birthday celebration. I've had b v cheap ones to quite full blown events.

I commend to you this way of celebrating.

Same tbh! And my work colleagues have been lovely today. I'm more amused that my whole family forgot 😂

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Original poster

Oopsadaisy92 · 22/01/2025 15:32

Whatsitreallylike · 22/01/2025 15:30

Happy birthday OP. Sorry your family forgot… but forgetting your 18th is actually savage! My DD is only 2 and I’ve already had some thoughts about what I’ll do for her 18th 😂😂

Hope they make it up to you!

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Love that!

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BitOutOfPractice · 22/01/2025 15:32

happy birthday @Oopsadaisy92 🎂

god I would be so upset if everyone forgot my birthday.

Have you got your get home for anybody tonight? If not, book yourself some show tickets and a nice dinner.

Flavatama · 22/01/2025 15:32

Happy birthday, hope you have cards from other people, you know cos it's nice to remember the folks we care about! I don't get the people who say it's a waste of time to send cards, we' re only here for a short time and making someone happy with a card on their birthday makes life nicer.🎂🥂🎂

Itstaxmonth · 22/01/2025 15:33

Han86 · 22/01/2025 14:54

We generally don't buy cards for each other...waste of money that ends up in the bin!

My parents and brother will pass on a card when I see them. This might be before my birthday but is often after. I also might only remember to send a birthday text in the evening if I happen to look at the calendar!

I just wondered if this was going to be one of the many birthday posts where the poster says no one does anything, but doesn't set out their expectations.

Earlier in the week I would have said for my birthday can we get takeaway as it's a weeknight. Or as my birthday is midweek, can we go for a meal the weekend after?
As I do the shopping I would have bought my own cake!

Anyway, I do hope you have a good birthday and manage to perhaps treat yourself to dinner tonight.

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It’s clear from the Op that none of them have so much as acknowledged her birthday. The issue as you can see from the title is that she thinks they have forgotten!

You don’t need a card or a cake or a takeaway to wish someone happy birthday.

I don’t think you need to tell your husband of all people that he should at the very least wish you a happy birthday and not completely forget about it and be texting you about other stuff.

There’s an implicit expectation that he’s going to remember your birthday!

maddiemookins16mum · 22/01/2025 15:34

I'd be inclined to let your brother off but your parents and dh, wow.

Maslina3 · 22/01/2025 15:34

My whole family forgot my 19th. It was my first birthday away from home, first year of uni. Out of sight out of mind!
Now I have children of my own it actually seems even more shocking to me. I really can’t imagine forgetting one of my children’s birthdays.

PandaChopChop · 22/01/2025 15:35

Aw happy birthday OP- I'm really sorry it's (so far) been forgotten.

I'd be really upset about this and I would absolutely lower myself to be petty as fuck about it too 😆 Take yourself off for a couple of cocktails later and a nice book. Xx

Original poster

Oopsadaisy92 · 22/01/2025 15:35

lucywho123 · 22/01/2025 15:29

Does DH have form for being inconsiderate OP? Im sorry, I really dont think this kind of thing is funny, its mean if he truly forgotten and not making you think hes forgotten. Hope he's planning a big surprise for when you get home

Not normally but I wouldn't normally let him forget it's just because he's out of the country in the middle east working at the moment... but that does give him 3 extra hours to remember 😅

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HippyKayYay · 22/01/2025 15:36

I just don't understand how stuff like this happens? With your DH at least. Did you not mention your birthday in the preceeding weeks/ days? In my house there's endless chat about what we want to/ will do for our birthdays... I often instigate that chat about mine (because my birthday is at a shit time, so needs prior planning to not be rubbish).

But sorry they forgot. That is shit and I'm not surprised you feel miffed

Original poster

Oopsadaisy92 · 22/01/2025 15:36

PandaChopChop · 22/01/2025 15:35

Aw happy birthday OP- I'm really sorry it's (so far) been forgotten.

I'd be really upset about this and I would absolutely lower myself to be petty as fuck about it too 😆 Take yourself off for a couple of cocktails later and a nice book. Xx

Cocktails sound like a fabulous idea!

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PandaChopChop · 22/01/2025 15:36

How "out" of the country is DH? Could timezones be a shit excuse? My best friend has lived in Australia for nearly 15 years and I still cannot for the life of me remember what the time difference is.

Drfosters · 22/01/2025 15:37

Aww that sucks - happy birthday!!

that is very weird. I don't really see my family on my birthday but I usually get the birthday gifs!

I wouldn’t say anything until late and then send a passive aggressive message out to everyone saying ’thanks for all the birthday messages- made my day very special’

Original poster

Oopsadaisy92 · 22/01/2025 15:37

HippyKayYay · 22/01/2025 15:36

I just don't understand how stuff like this happens? With your DH at least. Did you not mention your birthday in the preceeding weeks/ days? In my house there's endless chat about what we want to/ will do for our birthdays... I often instigate that chat about mine (because my birthday is at a shit time, so needs prior planning to not be rubbish).

But sorry they forgot. That is shit and I'm not surprised you feel miffed

Oh I definitely did! I was only speaking to him about it yesterday 🫠

OP posts:

Original poster

Oopsadaisy92 · 22/01/2025 15:37

PandaChopChop · 22/01/2025 15:36

How "out" of the country is DH? Could timezones be a shit excuse? My best friend has lived in Australia for nearly 15 years and I still cannot for the life of me remember what the time difference is.

3 hours ahead in Bahrain

OP posts:

PandaChopChop · 22/01/2025 15:38

Oopsadaisy92 · 22/01/2025 15:36

Cocktails sound like a fabulous idea!

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If you are in the "shires" in the south east, I'll join you! 😆

Iamnotalemming · 22/01/2025 15:38

Happy Birthday 🎂 🥳 🎉

My brother recently forgot my DC's birthday even after some hints on family WhatsApp. I am pissed off with the low effort level, can't imagine how annoyed I'd be about my own day!

misscockerspaniel · 22/01/2025 15:38

Happy Birthday 🍾🍸

Itstaxmonth · 22/01/2025 15:38

HippyKayYay · 22/01/2025 15:36

I just don't understand how stuff like this happens? With your DH at least. Did you not mention your birthday in the preceeding weeks/ days? In my house there's endless chat about what we want to/ will do for our birthdays... I often instigate that chat about mine (because my birthday is at a shit time, so needs prior planning to not be rubbish).

But sorry they forgot. That is shit and I'm not surprised you feel miffed

Some people are very low maintenance about birthdays but it doesn’t mean they want it to be forgotten about altogether.

They just want a nice text or a phone call on their birthday or at most a very small gift and card, so they leave it down to people to sort things out without needing to be nattering about it weeks in advance.

It’s not necessarily something they’d talk about.

ETA: my point above remains true for many people but I’ve just seen that Op has been talking about her birthday leading up to it which makes things even worse in this scenario.

SparklingSpa · 22/01/2025 15:39

Firstly happy birthday.

My DH forgot mine one year, we were on a holiday and I got texts from friends and brother but no happy birthday from my DH.

It got to about 6.30 pm and I asked if he knew it was my birthday today. He came up with a story about getting no wifi on our cruise ship so he didn’t know the date and then he said the holiday was my present so he didn’t get me a card. I didn’t say a lot, I thought about forgetting his birthday but in the end did the minimum for him. I didn’t remind our adult DC and they didn’t buy him anything or give him a card. He was genuinely in pain and shock from this and hasn’t forgotten anything since.

LookItsMeAgain · 22/01/2025 15:40

Han86 · 22/01/2025 14:36

I never quite understand the birthday posts on MN.
Have you asked for any presents? Mentioned going out for a meal or doing something special for dinner?
If the answer is no and you were just waiting to see whether or not they remembered, then I feel you are partly to blame.

Why is it always up to the person who's birthday it is to remind everyone in their family that it's their birthday. I mean surely they would remember having celebrated X number of birthdays for this family member before now? There isn't a limit on the number of birthday celebrations a person can have (unless they are terribly unfortunate and pass away).

I never quite understand the people who don't get that others like, for one day a year, to be remembered and that it's usually on their birthday.

From a personal perspective, I'd like someone to organise to take me out, rather than the other way around, to celebrate my birthday. But that's just me.