Made me feel uncomfortable should I make a complaint.

[Singlemamabear]

Hi, my 5 year old dd has been seeing a male dr for autism. We’ve gotten a diagnosis and went in to see the dr for a meeting. He done a physical exam, her height, weight etc.
he then said that in the previous appointment he wasn’t able to check her skin and needed to do it so I agreed. He checked her skin and then attempted to take her knickers off which I could have done ? And if he’s checking her skin why did he need to see her genitals? I stopped it there it made me feel uncomfortable. What does a test for autism have to do with her genitals ?
am I being unreasonable? I hope I’m just overthinking because of my own trauma but he did makes me feel abit uncomfortable… he also commented on me and my daughters lips… I really hope I’m over thinking

Thinking back to when my child was diagnosed (under 5, by paediatrics rather than CAMHS or any ND pathway) they did want to see him undressed including no nappy. He also had bloods done too. Reason being they were looking to include/exclude the possibility of his autism being as a result of a genetic condition (which they were very clear about and explained)

That said, he was 18 months old at the time. Very different to a 5 year old.

@PigInADuvet it’s not the being undressed that the issue for me per se, it’s the fact he went to remove her underwear himself without explanation or consent. This is something we absolutely DO NOT DO. Not to a well child. We might undress a child with injuries if we needed to gain access to that part of their bodies but a child who is there for a routine appointment? Absolutely not.

@Rosscameasdoody this really isn’t how it is done. Patients have rights, and that includes children. The process in this scenario would be to say “Elsie, I need to have a look at your bottom to check it isn’t sore. (For example) Can you pop your underwear off? Perhaps Mum can help you.” Not to just randomly pull down a child’s knickers!

the doctor hasn’t sought consent appropriately, and has overstepped the boundaries too. This absolutely isn’t ok.

Is he a Jack of all trades? A GP and a Psychologist? 🤔🤔

@Oreyt yes ! Do u have a incling of who this may be ?

Oh no sorry. I was being sarcastic as I didn't think that was a thing?

Why were you being sarcastic on a thread like this???

Exactly! Just ignore this person … seems like he would do the same. Not sure why he’s so angry about this ordeal it didn’t happen to him

@porridgebath

Because he's clearly not a gp. I've commented already on here.

im Going to delete this thread soon thankyou for all the support ❤️ but some nasty people on here making as joke of it and also being angry that I find something wrong with what happened 😳

No it's not a joke on you. Sorry. I've offered advice up thred.

We was sent to him by the nhs. We was on the waiting list for ages

I was speaking about the Ross person not you, he’s come on here angry that I have a issue what happened with my child

What makes you think he is a doctor?

I don't think you're understanding what I'm saying sorry. I've said before I'm autistic and he should not be doing those intimate checks.

You did nothing wrong at all and I'm sorry this happened.

I think I understand why you were asking.
It's not impossible for a GP to have qualifications in psychology (or psychiatry, which people sometimes don't realise is a separate discipline and a medical speciality) but it is unusual.
A more common transition is from psychiatrist to psychologist and I know a couple of people who've done that. It involves a lot of specialist training.
I assume you were perhaps wondering whether this person was everything they claim to be.
Sorry if I've got the wrong end of the stick though.

I'm wondering if this is a psychologist using their Dr title which the OP thinks makes them a doctor. It would be extremely odd for a GP to diagnose ASD.

@Singlemamabear i know you’ve said you are going to delete the thread, and of course that’s your prerogative. But I wonder if you would consider leaving it up - if it helps even one person to know this shouldn’t be happening, it could help someone else to realise it’s ok to stop a dr from doing that to their child. Or for another parent coming away from an appointment with a feeling like yours, but not sure if they should complain?

I think you have been incredibly brave - you challenged the doctor in the room, you have asked for support/guidance on here and you have gone ahead with the necessary complaints. Well done on being such a great advocate and mum to your child.

Yes I’ll leave it up. I just want to delete the comment I made where I put up a photo of the complaint email, is there anyway I can do that or I can’t ?

Sorry I’ve not been able to get back to most of you and your lovely support. Thankyou so much ❤️
because of you all I’ve made a complaint. Thankyou amazing people

Id really like to hear about the outcome from your complaint. Reading your post has definitely given me the thought that if I dont feel comfortable with what a 'professional' is doing then to stop them and tell them. You'd think that the doctor is a person you're able to trust is doing the right thing but from your post I've come to see that's not always right.
I will remember your post in future appointments with my children and even my own appointments.
Thank you for your post and please will you keep us updated with the outcome?
You sound like a great parent and definitely did the right thing at the appointment.

@Singlemamabear i thick if you report that comment, you can ask Mumsnet to delete it in the comment when reporting it.

Thankyou so much for your kind words 🥰 yes ofcourse. I’ll keep you all posted about the outcome

You are not a doctor, there are other conditions linked to autism that have cafe au lait spots and he was probably checking for those or he could have been looking for signs of abuse as there is a large proportion of Sen children that are abused