Made me feel uncomfortable should I make a complaint.

[Singlemamabear]

Hi, my 5 year old dd has been seeing a male dr for autism. We’ve gotten a diagnosis and went in to see the dr for a meeting. He done a physical exam, her height, weight etc.
he then said that in the previous appointment he wasn’t able to check her skin and needed to do it so I agreed. He checked her skin and then attempted to take her knickers off which I could have done ? And if he’s checking her skin why did he need to see her genitals? I stopped it there it made me feel uncomfortable. What does a test for autism have to do with her genitals ?
am I being unreasonable? I hope I’m just overthinking because of my own trauma but he did makes me feel abit uncomfortable… he also commented on me and my daughters lips… I really hope I’m over thinking

Opening himself up to what ? Why didn’t OP open her mouth and ask what he was doing and why at the time ? If OP was present with her child at the time of the examination then she is the chaperone. The child was not left alone with the doctor.

Why do so many posters think a chaperone was necessary when OP herself was in the room the whole time ?

@Rosscameasdoody

For reasons like this!!

A GP should STILL ask the mother if she would like a chaperone. That way, all parties have a witness if there are any questions, confusion, queries. My female GP asked if I’d like a chaperone when she checked me for breast lumps

If the OP was present, why didn’t she ask what he was doing and why ? I agree he should have explained himself in advance and been clear what was needed, but a simple ‘why are you doing that’ could have prevented the whole scenario.

In our surgery patients are advised that chaperones are available on request if the patient is attending alone, or they can have their own companion present. The child wasn’t attending alone. In this case OP was the chaperone.

Was he trying to look at her genitals or the skin on her bottom and around her genitals perhaps for moles/ other beauty marks

But you're not a bad mum

You stopped him!

Well done, amazing mum for stopping it and you definitely should take it up with the management. Too often we read stories of women going to a GP for cough or ear problems, who have been subjected to a vaginal exam!!!!! Loads of stories in the papers - and these are the ones who have reported it! What about loads more of those who are taught to worship the NHS and doctors and don't say a word? Needless to say, many people go to professions where they can have access to the vulnerable (and every patient is vulnerable, there is too much power imbalance) - doctors, teachers, priests, coaches, etc., to abuse the vulnerable. Well done mum!

Really? I've had moles removed and I've never had my genitalia checked!

Our surgery doesn’t ask as routine. There are notices up in the surgery saying that patients attending alone can request a chaperone if they want one.

Your instinct is 100% correct.
please report him!

If you read my comment I asked if he actually checked her genitalia or was it just the skin around it and her bottom!

There is a difference

Report to the GMC. It's the doctors and GPs independent regulator. They'll do a full investigation

Why do yo I think you might be unreasonable? He made you uncomfortable. Why do you think that isn't something to complain about?

Just to say as this a potential safeguarding concern I would recommend a bit more than just using the complaints procedure. There is a job in children's services called the Local Authority Designated Officer (LADO). Their job is to investigate professionals where there is concerning behaviour that is at a harmful or abusive level. They will make a plan and coordinate other agencies. A complaint could warn the person involved if they are spoken to. You can look these details up online if you Google children's services and your concern council name and LADO or ring the MASH team (multi agency safeguarding hub) that takes referrals. Unfortunately people are more likely to trust people in a position power and will agree with things they are actually not properly comfortable with. Try not to feel guilty and you are doing the right thing getting help now

I wouldn't just be making a complaint. I would be talking to the police!!!

Ideally OP would have asked why at the time but even more ideally the doctor would have explained what the hell he was doing

So disturbing. I hope you and DD are ok. You stopped it, so we'll done you. Kick up the biggest fuss until someone listens x

This would not however be done by a psychologist or psychiatrist.

I went to a doctor for a medical when I was in my late teens. I remember him aksing me to take my bra off, and I sat on the edge of the bed topless while he continued with the examination (which had nothing to do with my breasts). Sounds absolutely stupid now, but at the time, mid eighties, we were all led to believe a doctor was someone to hold in utmost trust & respect and even though I felt uncomfortable, I never reported it or even told my mum. I was too embarrassed at the time. Makes me very angry looking back...

I never had to lower or remove my underwear

Seems incredibly suspicious to me. I’d absolutely report this and change doctors immediately!

For what

How would you know if her instinct is 100% correct? You couldn’t possibly know that

Agree