Made me feel uncomfortable should I make a complaint.

[Singlemamabear]

Hi, my 5 year old dd has been seeing a male dr for autism. We’ve gotten a diagnosis and went in to see the dr for a meeting. He done a physical exam, her height, weight etc.
he then said that in the previous appointment he wasn’t able to check her skin and needed to do it so I agreed. He checked her skin and then attempted to take her knickers off which I could have done ? And if he’s checking her skin why did he need to see her genitals? I stopped it there it made me feel uncomfortable. What does a test for autism have to do with her genitals ?
am I being unreasonable? I hope I’m just overthinking because of my own trauma but he did makes me feel abit uncomfortable… he also commented on me and my daughters lips… I really hope I’m over thinking

Thankyou everyone. The delay in replies as this had made me feel sick, helpless and winded. I will be standing up for my daughter and making a complaint and reporting. My instincts was right… from the first appointment I had an odd feeling about him and spoke to my mum about it but she reassured me. I don’t feel that way for no reason

Dr. 100% report autism doesn't require any physical exam. Gmc

Against the grain slightly, my DS had his skin checked on his thighs during his assessment- apparently cafe au lait spots are something that is often seen on the skin of people with autism. And sure enough he had some, I’d just assumed they were variations in pigmentation.
However I see no reason why they would want to remove underwear and as others have said, it needs reporting.

Wow. No way absolutely no way. Wtf has skin got to do with autism? Definitely complain. And DO NOT feel like a failure....you dealt with it as you rightfully should have done

There are some congenital conditions that have skin manifestations and are potentially associated with autistic spectrum disorders and ASD type behaviours eg neurofibromatosis type 1, iscthyothis - and there are some questions about other cutaneous problems being associated, though less well delineated.
So there is a valid medical reason to examine the skin in an autism assessment, to examine for other signs that might suggest testing for these congenital conditions is a good idea. (especially if the child has other skin manifestations/marks that might point to a potentially important medical condition as part of their assessment and diagnosis)

Having said that - the situation of getting a 5 year old to strip naked without a clear explanation to her and you as to why it was necessary, and involving you as the parent in the exam to support and reassure your daughter is unacceptable and you were absolutely right to act on your instinct and stop the examination.
I would suggest that you contact the clinic and ask to speak to someone in charge. Explain your issue and concerns, as the situation (why they were doing the exam/what they were looking for) needs cleared up for your understanding and peace of mind, and the doctor who did the assessment needs to get the feedback on the way they attempted to carry out their examination/communication - how much of a problem this was.

(Edited for poor spelling)

That's a very good point regarding NF1, as DS1 has it, but not ASD, although there is huge co-mobidity.

Is this an actual registered dr?

The problem is that he didn't explain why and that's the part I'd be questioning in the complaint. I would probably say something like the need for a full body exam wasn't explained to me and I stopped the exam. Please explain to me what he was wanting to look for on her genitalia so I can check it.

There are two reasons I can think of for a physical exam, one mentioned above (skin markings) and the other is scratching/other signs of self harm.

Self harm (I see a lot of skin picking and skin scratching) is really common because of the increased anxiety in ASC. And some of it has been really serious, labia scratched raw, upper thighs skin picked off.

Thankyou all, I’ve spoken to nhs complaints and they did agree that it’s odd. I spoke o multiple professionals who have agreed it’s odd. I’ve Made a formal complaint and will be treating my daughter to some ice cream after school. Had a very bad gut feeling the first time I met him I just know Alot about him will come to light.

Are you in the UK? Is this an NHS dr?

Yeah this is just suspicious and creepy. Definitely make a complaint. I would love to see how he justifies this. The fact he just went ahead and did it makes me think he has done this before

Lower spine or front check? I'm sure I've come across this before but am perimenopausal and can't recall the link in this moment.,.

This is NOT your fault. You have assumed a health care professional is trustworthy. That's not a failing that's a normal human response. Please please do not blame yourself here.

I'm unsure if this is just an adult thing but every time I've had an intimate area looked at, the person doing so tells me beforehand exactly what there looking at and why..they then get a chaperone to come and watch obviously to have someone else there to cover them and say I consented etc if I made an allegation. I'm unsure if this is just my trust? But I've had a smear, vaginal swab for thrush and an internal anal exam and there's always been more than just the doctor!

Why did she need to get undressed at all. And there's no way he should be undressing her.

I do think that there are some sexually inappropriate doctors.

There are also some doctors who see so many people they seem to forget people's important boundaries and consent and just go to do things themselves as it's quicker.

I would also complain about the second type. Because it's very unprofessional and they need to be reminded

Some Doctors can make you feel so uncomforavtle. As this is a child i would definitely complain.

It's so important to get a good doctor. I aas just thinking of two different doctors that I experienced . I used to get recurring vaginal infections and bladder infections for a while.

One male doctor insisted on looking at me down there. He did it alone in the room. His face looked weird when he looked at my groin. I realised after that I should have insisted on a nurse being present.

The second time I went to a different male doctor. He was so professional. He said "it would be inappropriate for me to look at you down there I'm going to just prescribe medication". Which he did. And I got much better.

What the hell does he need to check inside her vaginas, for an autism diagnosis!

That's abuse!

Its not too late to complain.

Well done!

Autism can go hand in hand with other things like EDS. Stretchy skin is something that can be seen.

There's absolutely no way he should be looking in her knickers though. You need to flag this to protect other vulnerable kids. I'm sorry OP.

Being realistic- some men do go into being a doctor - in order to see and grope naked women and girls.

I remember chatting to a female doctor on here before. And she said that the most perverted doctors on her college course - decided to specialise in gynaecology.

A doctor in a practice near me has alot just been struck off, for molesting underage girls when they went to see him.

Do not beat yourself up
You are not a failure of a Mum, at all. Quite the opposite.

YANBU at all to report this Person.

I have never heard the like for an autism diagnosis in all my 60 years.

This thread makes me angry. As i do think that there are many perverts and paedophiles masquerading as doctors.

Re the Mole

That should be kept an eye on.
I had one right up until I was 53 and then it was removed. It was benign but as I had had skin cancer prior, it was deemed best, by Me and the Dr, to remove the mole.

I think its very odd that a practice would put a doctor in the position of being the only staff member on site.Most patients wont have a chaperone with them