Made me feel uncomfortable should I make a complaint.

[Singlemamabear]

Hi, my 5 year old dd has been seeing a male dr for autism. We’ve gotten a diagnosis and went in to see the dr for a meeting. He done a physical exam, her height, weight etc.
he then said that in the previous appointment he wasn’t able to check her skin and needed to do it so I agreed. He checked her skin and then attempted to take her knickers off which I could have done ? And if he’s checking her skin why did he need to see her genitals? I stopped it there it made me feel uncomfortable. What does a test for autism have to do with her genitals ?
am I being unreasonable? I hope I’m just overthinking because of my own trauma but he did makes me feel abit uncomfortable… he also commented on me and my daughters lips… I really hope I’m over thinking

In which case it would have even more important for the doctor to get consent to remove the child’s underwear.

if it was about the cafe au lait spots, why didn’t the doctor explain this? Why didn’t he ask the child to remove her own underwear? Or if she was struggling, asked the child’s mother who was right there in the room to help? The only time it would be appropriate for a doctor to be removing a patients clothing is in a medical emergency where consent cannot be obtained and it is absolutely necessary.

it feels like you are reaching to justify this doctors behaviour. The mother felt uncomfortable and has had a weird vibe from this man before. His behaviour doesn’t fit with anything expected from doctors (see previous comments from other medical professionals) and doesn’t fit with the vast majority of posters experience with their own children and autism diagnosis.

a complaint will hopefully get to the bottom of it if it innocent, and if it isn’t it will hopefully protect other children as he won’t have access to do this again.

Doctors are laying themselves bare to false accusations apart from anything else, and in the OP's scenario it's always going to be her word against his with no adult witness present.

Yes that's exactly how I feel. I think there is a much straightforward and likely expanation, but he didn't handle it well with his lack of communication.

It's possible he's not British and has been trained somewhere in the world where the focus is purely on the medicine and not so much on the 'customer experience' we've come to expect in the NHS, in terms of things like consent, choice, having things explained before they are done etc. I have lived overseas and it's remarkable how different the whole culture around doctors and nurses can be in other parts of the world.

Due to previous inappropriate behaviour from a GP I record all medical appointments.

Contrary to what many people say this is not illegal and you don't have to ask permission. This is admissible in court too

Thank you for saying customer experience! My grandma had a book called “talk back to your doctor” which I read when probably too young.
It made me realise, that I AM the customer. I always take a lead role. Same as if I went to a shop for buy an item or get a repair. I have choices about Drs, treatment etc

Don’t care if they think I’m bossy, ask too many questions, and I repeat everything back & ask if I will be sent a summary letter or should I write this down?
I hate being fobbed off or shuttled thru their routines.

If the doctor was thinking that the autism was linked to NF1 (which could be suggested if she has several cafe au lait birthmarks), a secondary indicator would be looking for moles in the genital region and under armpits. It vaguely possible that this was a clumsy examination with no ill intent. It is also possible that he didn't want to alarm you with the possibility of additional conditions unless it was going to prove necessary. I'm not saying this is the case but it is possible.

Thank you I couldn't quite remember the name of this condition.

Yes, I've mentioned before that DS1 has NF1, he has multiple cafe au pairs and freckling in the arm pits and groin. Obviously the issue is about informing patients why a doctor is going to do something, but I'd be very glad if it does raise raise awareness of NF1, as it's the most common 'rare' genetic disorder, affecting 1:4000 people.

If this is not the GP, it is most likely to be a paediatrician. Paediatricians have extensive experience with genetic disorders and will be tuned in closely to look for medical signs of this.

I've reported on that post on your behalf. Hopefully MNHQ will delete it, or contact you to confirm that's what you'd like to happen.

There a group of rare genetic disorders that causes hyperpigmentation of the skin in the skin folding of the armpit, groin, sometimes neck. They are RASopathies. I understand why a doctor wouldn't want to scare you and say I want to rule out she has NF1 or Legius or Noonan...., he said he needed to check her skin and you were present in the room. The NHS definition of chaperone includes family members.
Nf1 is rare, most doctors miss the skin signs resulting in a delayed diagnosis, you, for once, had an informed doctor.

@Banyon I'm obviously not referring to the OPs post but in reply to your post as a 'customer'

How to endear yourself to highly trained professional people who dedicate their lives to saving lives.You are a Doctors patient not their customer. When I walk into my Doctors office I feel nothing but respect knowing the amount of work and dedication necessary to be in that position. They are as the saying goes only human & in my opinion superhuman.

How cute you assume MDs don’t want actively engaged customers?
Do what you like, but I’m taking ownership for my health as an active customer when I visit anyone medical.

My friends son has it.

So why on earth take your child to a groin stroking doctor you're convinced is a bad 'un and raging paedophile?

Because we've been taught to trust doctors I think.

For example : larry nasser was a doctor who sexually abused a lot of teenage girls. They said that they thought it wasn't right what he was doing,

Then they thought maybe they were wrong and he waa right, because "he was a doctor".

I assume you are from a place where you pay for your health treatment. If that's the case I can see why you would refer to yourself as a paying customer. Where I'm from that's just odd.We are simply the Doctors patients & of course we engage with them & discuss our health & all things related to it.