To think couples who can’t afford IVF shouldn’t try to crowdfund it?

[DearOpalFinch]

Having a baby is a personal choice. Is it fair to expect strangers to pay for it?

Since you seem unfamiliar with this common phrase, I will help by directing you to meaning 2. here:

You are saying it's wrong to crowdfund for it though. That's literally what it says in your thread title. That they shouldn't do it.

Yes, the OPs argument is getting less coherent with repetition.

IVF is actually urgent for a lot of people. The earlier you have it, the more likely it is to work. This is why my friend, despite theoretically being entitled to three cycles on the NHS, ended up abandoning that route and going private at vast expense. Because what is the point of getting three cycles on the NHS if you have to wait so long that you have almost zero chance of it working?

My friend was able to ask her and her partner's families for financial assistance to go private.

I can totally understand why people crowdfund if time is of the essence and they don't have wealthy family able to chip in.

I don’t understand the logic behind this at all. Anyone can ask for help. I count myself lucky that I didn’t need to.

Doesn’t bother me, however I would not donate.

Did someone you hate start an ivf crowdfunder? Time to let it go, perhaps?

You seem unfamiliar with point 1 of your own answer.

People crowdfund for things which they have completely control of e g. No holiday insurance abd end up in hospital.
I think IVF is more valid than idiots abroad with no insurance.
You don't have to give if you don't agree.

I agree.

I’ve seen crowdfunding for much worse things. And I don’t think they “expect” people to pay, they’re chancing asking, and if people are willing to donate, then great. No one is forced to contribute, or expected to contribute.

Is English perhaps not your first language? You really seem to be struggling with the idea that words or phrases can have more than one meaning.

To be fair, I think both of these things are wrong. Both things can be true, as well as the fact that people are free to donate to whatever they want and a fundraiser is not an obligation. I will continue not to donate to fundraisers for things I don't believe other people should pay for, and some people will continue to donate to them. How the world works, surely?

People can ask for money for whatever they like, and people can donate if they wish. Infertility is a medical condition for many people. Do you also think that people shouldn’t fundraise for medical treatment, or are you just against those suffering infertility?
If you are just against the use of crowdfunding in general op then you should have just done a general discussion about it and left the medical reasons out of it - it’s cruel to single out one group of people who have a medical condition.

Nobody is forcing you to give money, are they?

So what’s the problem?

It’s just odd how the OP is now saying they meant to make a broader point about private vs public life, and yet out of all the most entitled crowd fund attempts the media has publicised (pay for my honeymoon, pay for my house, pay for my wedding), s/he picked on infertile women.

Quite. Most odd.

Just don’t donate to them. Problem solved.

If you don't believe in something, fine.
Don't donate to that cause or request.
It's not compulsory.

You'd think!
It's been said time and time again on here, but that seems to be misunderstood by some people. Crowdfunding is a thing. Fundraising is a thing.
Donate or don't donate.
This is going round in circles. I'm off.🙄

Your point is as messy as anything. You say having children is a personal choice. It's fine for the taxpayer to sub this as a matter of course. You are aware that fertility treatments are available on the NHS but not consistently across trusts? Yet you disapprove of voluntary contributions being asked to the point where it 'shouldn't be allowed '. It is fully permitted for anyone to refuse it ignore the request so there isn't really an expectation, just a request. You then ask what about plastic surgery or weddings etc. well, it's perfectly possible to fundraise for these. Again, people can say 'no'. I suppose the modern practice of asking for contributions to the honeymoon or money instead of gifts is a version even if not public. That is only just becoming accepted.

The point I made was that people might open themselves up to judgement as well as non-contribution. They may well not care about being judged, fair enough, but it will happen.

HNRTT but imagine none of those crowdfunders want to go public but the crushing grief probably makes this the least worse option. A world of fertility, NHS funding or adequate pay for all might be preferable. Let's hope.

This argument is all over the place. One one hand you are saying it's too personal to crowdfund for, and on the other comparing it to people crowdfunding for cosmetic surgery and luxury holidays or a wedding.

Ultimately you don't have to donate to any crowd funder you see, nor should you be bothered or place judgement on them.

For many, IVF is a medical issue as they or their partner have fertility problems. Or same sex couples who do not get the benefit of NHS funding without first paying privately, which I actually think is shocking.

Because it's a "personal" problem people shouldn't talk about it or ask for help?

Would feel the same if it was a charity asking for donations to support unnamed couples go through IVF? If so why is that any different to dementia, cancer, heart disease charities. What's your opinion on the make a wish charity? If birth is personal surely dying is more so

It think you very much have an issue with the crowd funding but I think that because "it's personal" is unlikely to be the major issue you have with it