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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Torn about holiday

151 replies

HollyJollySea · 20/01/2025 00:57

NC for this.

DH’s big birthday falls very nicely during the next school holidays ( 2weeks). He’d really like us to go away for two weeks to a warm climate.
However, DC is in year 11 and currently narrowly missing his target grades. He has SEN.
I’ve recently started helping him to revise specifically for GCSEs. He’s starting some tutoring sessions soon. I was hoping he could’ve some targeted sessions during the holiday days too, to give him a boost.
In our shoes, would you go away at that time? Or would you postpone it to second week in July when school breaks again for all DC but the holiday will also be significantly more expensive and the weather might be wetter. We could spend an hour or so a day revising, I suppose.

Nothing has been booked yet, he loves leaving things a bit late when booking holidays.

If we postponed it, I’d take DH away for a weekend for his birthday.

In typing this, I think we should go and celebrate but wondering what MNers think…
yabu- go and celebrate
yanbu - postpone it and focus on dc’s exams for now

OP posts:

RoastDinnerSmellsNice · 20/01/2025 01:16

You haven't got voting turned on OP, but in your situation I think I'd vote for the holiday when it is your DH's actual birthday, rather than delaying only for it to end up costing more. Also, as you said, you can always do a bit of revision with your DS while you're away

Doctor1988 · 20/01/2025 01:21

Could you arrange some tutoring sessions virtually whilst away on holiday?

Gumbuyahpark · 20/01/2025 02:41

Do you have family support nearby? Is it an option for you and DH to go away and leave your son at home with revision things booked in?

I wasn’t clear on whether celebrating DHs birthday was to be a whole family affair or just the two of you.

Amba1998 · 20/01/2025 04:24

I went on a long haul holiday in the Easter break before my GCSEs. My mum had me do a couple of hours revision each morning while there

FrodisCapering · 20/01/2025 04:41

No way would I go away. The child comes first. His birthday can wait.

Kosenrufugirl · 20/01/2025 04:51

I would postpone. A more expensive holiday once in a lifetime against a lifetime of potentially lower earnings because of lower GSCE results is no brainer to me. I wouldn't insist my son revised during holiday. And one hour a day isn't going to cut it. Saying this why can't he revise extensively before and after holiday?

Thethingswedoforlove · 20/01/2025 04:54

Insisting on going away in the Easter before GCSEs is really selfish of your dh. These exams are important. The holiday can happen another time.

TheFairyCaravan · 20/01/2025 05:04

I’ve had 2 children to through GCSEs. There’s no way I’d have taken them away at Easter, Their school put revision classes on for them which they both wanted to attend, and they did a lot more than a couple of hours revision a day at home.

Your DH can have his birthday holiday later in the year.

IggyAce · 20/01/2025 05:11

In a gcse year the last chance for a holiday is February half term. The school will likely be putting on extra revision sessions during the Easter and May holidays.

MumsGoneToIceland · 20/01/2025 05:12

if you mean the Easter holidays, that’s just before when the exams start so no way would I go away this close to exams as that’s when the bulk of his revision would need to be done.

Poppins21 · 20/01/2025 05:13

I would go away and enjoy the holiday. Maybe increase revision before and after the holiday? My folks didn’t get involved with my exam revision when I was at school and I don’t remember this as being a thing amongst my friends parents. Is this now commonplace as I was just left to my own devices at home in the weeks off school before the exams? I was told I would get £20 for every A and that was it.

WhamBhamThankYouMham · 20/01/2025 05:22

There is no way I'd take my Y11 away in the Easter holidays. It's not just the lost revision time - it's also the disruption of going on a holiday. Depending on the holiday they can come back more tired than when they went!

But of course it does all depend on your child and their expectations/ambitions for their GCSEs. My son (now at university) would have refused to come away at Easter and considered us neglectful for even suggesting it 🤣 My current Y11 would definitely love the idea but would understand that it probably wouldn't be in her best interests in the long term. She's just been doing 6 hours a day in the Christmas holidays for her mocks and, having now done the exams, said the other day that it was all too little too late so she needs to step it up from now.

Mumdiva99 · 20/01/2025 05:33

Can you compromise and go away for a week?
If your child isn't the sort to revise every day then no need to be home all the time.

But...if your child needs routine and discipline supported by you. Then stay home and go away another time.

countrygirl99 · 20/01/2025 05:37

Birthdays come every year, GCSEs are once in a lifetime. A "big" birthday is just a number with a zero on the end, exam results are your child's future.

sunsettosunrise · 20/01/2025 05:51

Go away at Easter weekend for a break. Not sure how relaxing it would be anyway for both you and your DC with GCSEs looming.

andyourpointiswhat · 20/01/2025 05:52

DIL’s parents paid for their wedding, it was an overseas wedding six weeks before my younger son’s HSC exams (like A levels). That date was chosen to avoid in-school exams their younger super bright son was taking, DS had very little to do with the planning and said there was nothing he could do. I was ropable but we couldn’t exactly stay home. DS2 studied for a few hours in the mornings then joined the group after. It was an all inclusive resort and he was over 18 so trying to make sure he didn’t take full advantage wasn’t easy, he had the wedding day and the next day “off”. He is profoundly dyslexic and had extra time and a reader for exams so not exactly the kind of kid who sails through but bizarrely he did way better than expected. If you think your son will do some revision with you I would go on the holiday.

DalVoonican · 20/01/2025 05:55

I have a year 11 and there is absolutely no way I would take him away until July. It's unfair for them to be revising on holiday. What if flights were delayed on the way back?
It's just too important a time to stuff up.

Nevertoocoldforicecream · 20/01/2025 05:55

I'd postpone personally.

superclouds · 20/01/2025 05:59

I wouldn't go away in the Easter holidays before GCSEs no, your dc will be distracted and would miss face to face tutorials and revision sessions that they normally put on at school.

Book a weekend away with DH for his birthday.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 20/01/2025 05:59

@HollyJollySea I wouldnt go! I have been on holiday and seen a couple of kids round the pool trying to study and honestly, it did not work. there were too many distractions and parents wanting them to go in pool, or go in restaurant. book for after exams would be better.

Tubetrain · 20/01/2025 06:16

A holiday in the Easter before GCSEs? For a child doing badly? That's really poor parenting from your DH to even consider it.

Zanatdy · 20/01/2025 06:20

I wouldn’t go away in year 11, exams done by end of June so plenty of time to go then. My DD wouldn’t have gone anyway as I tried to get her to agree to 2 days in Easter hols but it was a no. 2wks is a long time away, assume you mean Easter. Some schools put on extra revision during Easter too.

Zanatdy · 20/01/2025 06:24

Poppins21 · 20/01/2025 05:13

I didn’t get involved in my DD’s revision but some DC need additional help, and if parents can help with that, why wouldn’t you? Some kids might just need a little encouragement like your parents provided, but some need a whole lot more. Either way, going on a 2wk holiday in the Easter hols of year 11 is crazy.

Timble · 20/01/2025 06:52

My two DC really felt the pressure around the Easter holidays. I don’t think they would have relaxed and enjoyed a holiday abroad with GCSEs looming. They were doing several hours a day revision to prepare.

ScaryM0nster · 20/01/2025 06:56

How much revision a day is your child actually capable of doing?

For some, another activity with some clearly defined quality revision slots can result in better revision that an endless expanse of an Easter school
real with no plans.

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