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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Torn about holiday

151 replies

HollyJollySea · 20/01/2025 00:57

NC for this.

DH’s big birthday falls very nicely during the next school holidays ( 2weeks). He’d really like us to go away for two weeks to a warm climate.
However, DC is in year 11 and currently narrowly missing his target grades. He has SEN.
I’ve recently started helping him to revise specifically for GCSEs. He’s starting some tutoring sessions soon. I was hoping he could’ve some targeted sessions during the holiday days too, to give him a boost.
In our shoes, would you go away at that time? Or would you postpone it to second week in July when school breaks again for all DC but the holiday will also be significantly more expensive and the weather might be wetter. We could spend an hour or so a day revising, I suppose.

Nothing has been booked yet, he loves leaving things a bit late when booking holidays.

If we postponed it, I’d take DH away for a weekend for his birthday.

In typing this, I think we should go and celebrate but wondering what MNers think…
yabu- go and celebrate
yanbu - postpone it and focus on dc’s exams for now

OP posts:
AlmosttimeforChristmas · 20/01/2025 06:56

I wouldn’t go. I remember revising for my GCSEs in that holiday. I’m bright, was predicted and got excellent grades and still needed peace and routine to revise, which I couldn’t have got in the same way on holiday

parietal · 20/01/2025 06:57

Nice long weekend in the Easter holiday with revision the rest of the time. Big holiday can be postponed to the summer.

nodramaplz · 20/01/2025 07:01

YANBU
Book it on his birthday.
Go at Easter.

nodramaplz · 20/01/2025 07:03

I thought you meant go away at mid term in feb? (2weeks)

Hurrayakitten · 20/01/2025 07:04

Doctor1988 · 20/01/2025 01:21

Could you arrange some tutoring sessions virtually whilst away on holiday?

seriously who wants to do tutoring on a holiday like that

I would go away after the GCSE's, OP

Irvinesv · 20/01/2025 07:05

I wouldn’t go on holiday the Easter before GCSEs, having been through this recently with DC that holiday is really important for revision and that just won’t happen on holiday and I think you’ll be disadvantaging him

NancyJoan · 20/01/2025 07:07

Honestly, I wouldn’t. My DS is Year 11 too, and this Easter is going to be very dull. Easter is particularly late this year too; the exams will start almost as soon as they go back. It’s really not worth it.

12purplepencils · 20/01/2025 07:10

How does ds feel about it? My dd refused to go away in the May half term (was tricky as there was a group family booked ages before) and I don’t think she would have been happy to go away for the whole of Easter. But then she is too conscientious and also has a thing about only being able to revise in her own bedroom.
if DS is ok with it and you both think he can still do revision there then I’d go for it but potentially not the whole time. Don’t want to be tired going back to school I’d give a couple of days at the end

LostMyLanyard · 20/01/2025 07:15

Just go for a week...that seems like a reasonable compromise surely? Although not ideal, given the timing 🤦‍♀️

GCSEs are starting straight after the Easter holidays! Even if my child were predicted straight As, I wouldn't be taking them on holiday two weeks before. Your child is struggling...seems like madness to me to expect that they'll do 'a bit of studying' each day you're on holiday. It wouldn't happen 🤷‍♀️

Notsuchafattynow · 20/01/2025 07:19

What is the location? I'm trying to think of somewhere where the weather will be better later...which makes me think it's European, and easter will be chilly?

RampantIvy · 20/01/2025 07:19

Poppins21 · 20/01/2025 05:13

I would go away and enjoy the holiday. Maybe increase revision before and after the holiday? My folks didn’t get involved with my exam revision when I was at school and I don’t remember this as being a thing amongst my friends parents. Is this now commonplace as I was just left to my own devices at home in the weeks off school before the exams? I was told I would get £20 for every A and that was it.

I don't think you have any idea just how content heavy and intense today's GCSEs are.

A two week holiday at Easter is a terrible idea.

A long weekend might be OK though.

Chaseandstatus · 20/01/2025 07:22

A holiday environment is not the place for revision. Everyone around you is relaxing, it makes the looming exams even more stressful.

I definitely would not have a holiday before exams.

Janbluesuary · 20/01/2025 07:22

Absolutely no way on earth would I go away Easter of year 11. That’s when they need to be home in their own space and to study without any upheaval. The exams start mid May and Easter is 20 April

DrFosterWentToGloucester23 · 20/01/2025 07:23

If your only DC is in Y11, you’ll be able to go away at the end of June as exams finish on the 20th. However, there might be a prom or similar he might like to go to after this.

ThejoyofNC · 20/01/2025 07:24

Can't you go away for one week?

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 20/01/2025 07:27

I thought you meant feb half term??

Easter hols for a kid struggling??? No way... This could impact the rest of their life...

He needs to be doing more than an hour a day!!

Most successful gcse kids I know were doing at 5/6 hours daily over easter...

dappledeverglade · 20/01/2025 07:28

Nope this is totally unfair on your child, you will be adding more pressure. Long weekend at the most. I’d consider leaving dc at home if you can to continue revising.

Summerbay23 · 20/01/2025 07:28

I’d postpone or just have a long weekend.

creamsnugjumper · 20/01/2025 07:29

I don't even understand why this is a question, go and your DS will have clear time to focus and a relaxing break from routine to be able to take in revision.

And you as a family get to celebrate a birthday.

BarbaraHoward · 20/01/2025 07:31

I thought OP meant February, don't some private schools take longer breaks? Anyway year 11 means nothing to me, but based on everyone's responses it's GCSE year so no, I wouldn't be going away for the whole break whenever it is.

Assuming there's plenty of holiday budget, I'd do a long weekend in Feb/Easter, two weeks somewhere else in July and then this plan next Feb/Easter, I presume being away in the first year of A Levels isn't the end of the world.

The exams are far more important than your DH's birthday.

sunshineandshowers40 · 20/01/2025 07:34

I have a DC in Y11 now and we would usually go away at Easter and or May half term- we aren't this year as DC needs to revise so I would postpone if possible.

BlueMum16 · 20/01/2025 07:36

WhamBhamThankYouMham · 20/01/2025 05:22

There is no way I'd take my Y11 away in the Easter holidays. It's not just the lost revision time - it's also the disruption of going on a holiday. Depending on the holiday they can come back more tired than when they went!

But of course it does all depend on your child and their expectations/ambitions for their GCSEs. My son (now at university) would have refused to come away at Easter and considered us neglectful for even suggesting it 🤣 My current Y11 would definitely love the idea but would understand that it probably wouldn't be in her best interests in the long term. She's just been doing 6 hours a day in the Christmas holidays for her mocks and, having now done the exams, said the other day that it was all too little too late so she needs to step it up from now.

I also wouldn't consider a holiday before GCSEs.
My older DC would have refused.
My DD who is sitting hers this summer is dyslexic and we will spend Easter and May doing some general revision and days out.

School here actually put sessions on during Easter.

We go away early July. It's not school holidays.here - were back when they break up so still a cheaper holiday that the Easter break.

It's one chance at GCSEs. Statistically those that need to resist done do as well and many don't get a GCSE in English or Maths afterwards making job/college harder.

RampantIvy · 20/01/2025 07:37

creamsnugjumper · 20/01/2025 07:29

I don't even understand why this is a question, go and your DS will have clear time to focus and a relaxing break from routine to be able to take in revision.

And you as a family get to celebrate a birthday.

I take it that you don't have DC in this age group. It is such a bad idea to remove a struggling student from their home environment for two weeks just before these exams.

Yes, they can retake English and maths but you can't retake other subjects easily like you could when I was that age.

Han86 · 20/01/2025 07:39

Absolutely not. As a former teacher I used to dread students telling me this. The more able would say they would take revision with them, but even they didn't get much done but were bright enough and capable enough for this to not impact them.
A student who is struggling is not going to want to revise when on holiday and needs a focused environment. The school may also be offering revision sessions that they would miss out on.
Some GCSE exams will start not long after the Easter hols so it's not like he would still have weeks to go.

Its only since reading Mumsnet more frequently that I have seen people making a fuss over birthdays. Honestly it is just a day and DH can celebrate in the summer as suggested, or just wait til a better time.

Han86 · 20/01/2025 07:42

As pointed out, Maths and English will need to be resat if they don't meet the grade and this becomes more of a challenge in college/sixth form. A student who can't pass when they have 5-6 hours a week is unlikely to achieve this when in college and they get an hour a week timetabled for this. While some obviously do, it is down to their own efforts as a lot disengage from the revision sessions that colleges put on and either don't attend or mess around.