Torn about holiday

[HollyJollySea]

NC for this.

DH’s big birthday falls very nicely during the next school holidays ( 2weeks). He’d really like us to go away for two weeks to a warm climate.
However, DC is in year 11 and currently narrowly missing his target grades. He has SEN.
I’ve recently started helping him to revise specifically for GCSEs. He’s starting some tutoring sessions soon. I was hoping he could’ve some targeted sessions during the holiday days too, to give him a boost.
In our shoes, would you go away at that time? Or would you postpone it to second week in July when school breaks again for all DC but the holiday will also be significantly more expensive and the weather might be wetter. We could spend an hour or so a day revising, I suppose.

Nothing has been booked yet, he loves leaving things a bit late when booking holidays.

If we postponed it, I’d take DH away for a weekend for his birthday.

In typing this, I think we should go and celebrate but wondering what MNers think…
yabu- go and celebrate
yanbu - postpone it and focus on dc’s exams for now

She's really not. Most of the girls in her class were similar.

I'd postpone the holiday - u can't postpone the exams! They need to come first

I would go but either reduce the holiday to 10 or eleven days or insist that some revision time is fitted in each morning. You can revise anywhere.

In a bog standard comprehensive school with a wide range of abilities?

What great fun for OP’s son to be stuck in the hotel revising while his parents are out having fun - I’m sure he’ll get loads of revision done…

Easter this year is really late. GCSE exams will start literally one week after they get back. Those two weeks are crucial cramming time.

How could this whole thread have forgotten that teen boys are known the world over for their intense focus and serious study habits, especially when holidaying at an alluring sunny destination?
don’t go.

Oh even better. Your struggling sen child has a brilliant tutor , so … you will look at swapping them out for someone new to do virtual sessions so you can go on holiday, in the Easter holidays before his gcses.

Children's needs always come first, specially if they are SEN. If he's started tutoring sessions, I'd continue until July. Consistency is important.

As you say, you can take your DH for a weekend away on his birthday, which is the best compromise.

It's good to have some downtime. When my DC were that age, we had a week's holiday for R&R, then a week at home to study

I wouldn't be taking a 2 week holiday

Absolutely not. The exams are too important and surely your DH should be putting your DC’s interests before his own.

I absolutely wouldn't no. Year 11 is full on and I definitely wouldn't do a proper holiday between Christmas and the summer

Absolutely zero way we would go away in the Easter or May half term of year 11/13.

I took DD away late June/ Early July after exams because she had such a long holiday.

Can you do it then instead?

My DD say her GCSEs last year. She has ASD and really struggled with the pressure of the exams. She wasn’t flat out studying over Easter but she did bursts of work with relaxation in the comfort of her home, plus some study sessions and social time with friends. She loves going on holiday but wouldn’t have been able to study whilst away. I’d say go for calm at home over Easter with as much revision as he can manage. A holiday won’t be much fun if trying to fit in revision. Once the exams are over you can all relax properly. Do you have younger DC that prevent an early get away after exams end?

I think MN is insane sometimes over GCSEs and ridiculous over revision etc. However, as Easter is so late I'm not sure how much your son (and you) will enjoy it knowing GCSEs are looming. Id postpone and enjoy it fully when he's finished.

OP - try this, you take your ds away for Easter holidays and while he packs some books, is in the pool, makes new friends, has a fab holiday, and does max a hour a day revision. He loves the holiday and you all have a lovely time.

Then in August you get his results and he’s a couple of grades below where he needs to be to do what he wants to do for years 12&13. Is there any way you won’t blame yourself /your dh for taking him on holiday rather than studying in those weeks?

It might be fine. If it’s not, it’s not you who suffers.

GCSEs are way more important, obviously. Why would any parent think that their own birthday is more important than their child's education and future?

Lucky her
And you can't possibly comprehend this doesn't work for all, in particular the OPs child, given the context we have
God help teachers with this attitude as well

Do we still not know if this holiday is Half Term or Easter?!

Have been on several holidays skiing and summer where kids took all their books for revision of important exams. Re arranged furniture to set up a study desk etc. Was okay but not ideal due to dodgy wifi. Kids did fine in their exams. A change is as good as a rest. But I'm very organised and probably selfish

It still depends on the type of student. When DD was revising for her GCSEs she took regular short breaks to walk with a friend and his dog.

She wouldn't have enjoyed a holiday away from home knowing that she would have had to spend several hours a day revising rather than swimming/sightseeinf/skiing etc and would have got too stressed.

As a secondary school teacher of a core subject, I would 100% wait until his exams are over. The school will probably offer Easter revision sessions, but either way, his attention needs to be on revision especially if he’s not quite on target. He’s obviously not going to be revising 24/7, but I’d wait and let everyone completely relax on holiday after his exams.

Ex teacher here. Go on the holiday and don’t do any revision while there. Life is too short and exams aren’t this huge deal everyone makes out. Not really. Unless you need specific grades for A levels, I wouldn’t stress too much.

A holiday will prevent him from becoming burnt out.

This is why, as a secondary teacher of a core subject, I left teaching. There is more to life than school and exams. He’s a kid but won’t be for much longer. There’s plenty of time to pass up fun opportunities as an adult.

This is terrible advice.
Having no GCSEs at all will impact his choices.

It is very naive and short sighted to think otherwise.

DD recently helped one of her workmates revise for a maths mock GCSE. This woman is in her thirties and can't progress any further without maths, so she is retaking it this summer.