Torn about holiday

[HollyJollySea]

NC for this.

DH’s big birthday falls very nicely during the next school holidays ( 2weeks). He’d really like us to go away for two weeks to a warm climate.
However, DC is in year 11 and currently narrowly missing his target grades. He has SEN.
I’ve recently started helping him to revise specifically for GCSEs. He’s starting some tutoring sessions soon. I was hoping he could’ve some targeted sessions during the holiday days too, to give him a boost.
In our shoes, would you go away at that time? Or would you postpone it to second week in July when school breaks again for all DC but the holiday will also be significantly more expensive and the weather might be wetter. We could spend an hour or so a day revising, I suppose.

Nothing has been booked yet, he loves leaving things a bit late when booking holidays.

If we postponed it, I’d take DH away for a weekend for his birthday.

In typing this, I think we should go and celebrate but wondering what MNers think…
yabu- go and celebrate
yanbu - postpone it and focus on dc’s exams for now

Easter of Y11 is not the time for two week holidays.

Postpone. Last exam is 20th june..go then

I definitely wouldn't do this during the Easter holidays in Year 11. It's an intense time and your son should have all the time he wants or needs to revise. By the time you get to the May break half of the exams will be over and school is intense during the build up - he will probably be tired after school and at weekends. My son is Year 12 and went on two holidays straight after the exams but we wouldn't have done it before.

The exams will be done by end June so you could go away then?

Another former teacher.

I would take DH away for a weekend for his birthday somewhere that’s clearly suited to his tastes.

Then go away in the summer, maybe for one week instead of two if finances are the issue?

You need to put DC first in this situation, and I am usually the first one crying “Go on holiday!”

I would still go on the holiday as life doesn’t need to stop for exams. But I am obviously in the minority. I clearly have a blase attitude to revision.

Wait until the summer. Any holiday that has to be built around revision will not be enjoyable. School may also run additional revision sessions during the holidays.

Our school did sessions through Easter to help with revision. I'd postpone until exams were over

When did an adult's birthday become more important than a child's education?

Maybe not as my daughter is at an IB school and it’s very project heavy rather than exam based for MYP. But I can’t see us putting so much pressure on to revise like that and we would probably go on holiday. And I was just giving my thoughts on what we would do about the holiday.

Yabnu
child before holiday

Assuming you are talking about the Easter break, absolutely no way would I consider two weeks long haul. Aside from the obvious loss of what should be prime revision time, you've also got the impact of jet lag and the possibility that any travel disruption could have serious consequences. A long weekend at Easter, or even a week, could actually be a welcome break from revision, but absolutely not the full two weeks.

Even if you are talking about February I still think spending the entire break on holiday is unfair on your DS.

I don’t think it’s fair to take a child away on holiday during the Easter before their GCSEs. That’s protected revision time.

(my dd is currently in year 11, no SEN, not struggling but still I wouldn’t)

Mine had GCSEs last year. We didn’t go away over Easter - just took a weekend, and a couple of afternoons here and there to give him a break. It was a huge chunk of his revision time. (He revised loads before and after too but Easter holidays are a major input time). Definitely wouldn’t go away, definitely not for 2 weeks.

@RampantIvy I have DS who have both been through GCSEs yes.

One currently doing a levels

I'm in the minority where I don't get involved in their revision, their results are their own and we enjoy life and holidays, so the OP asked for opinions.

Mine are that there appears to be tons of helicopter parents who are way to invested in their children's exams, and creating a bunch of kids who have no clue how to regulate their own time, enjoy watching them get jobs!

But that's my option only and I'm sure given the replies she will not go away.

There is no way I would take a Year 11 child away for the whole or largest part of the Easter holidays. A couple of days yes. 2 weeks no.

I'm not a helicopter parent and didn't get involved in revision besides encouraging him to do some. But taking a child away at that time is taking away their options.

Don't go. Unfair to add more barriers to success for your child. A grown adult should be able to accept that this takes priority over a birthday.

@Poppins21 - life should stop for exams like GCSEs. Unless your child is going to inherit a business/enough money to live off, these exams are going to decide what sort of career they can have, how much money they can earn - and given how much adult mental health is linked to income/poverty - how happy they are for the rest of their life. I hate the system we have in England, we shouldn’t be shutting doors at 15/16, but we do, so we have to treat life changing exams like they are life changing.

OP - your child is struggling, they need to effectively work full time at the Easter holidays. I would think less of DH to even consider it. I’ll turn 50 in DC2’s Easter holidays before GCSEs, I already know I wouldn’t consider going away for more than the bank holiday weekend. Why would any parent be so selfish?

Nope. No way. I don’t think I worked very hard for my exams at that stage but it was still more than an hour or two a day in the Easter holidays. It was probably close to three 2 hour blocks a day with the actual bank hol weekend off.

My dh would put our child’s gcse first. We will have this- we will have our joint 50th in ds1s final year. We will prioritise any holidays around his school and revision schedule.

@creamsnugjumper i agree with @pinkroses79 - while ultimately it is down to the child to do the work, if you take them away, you remove that option from them and decide for them they can’t. Most good schools run revision sessions in the Easter holidays for children who are struggling, it’s not compulsory and if your dcs weren’t struggling you might not have been told about ones your school did.

Taking their struggling ds away takes away his choice to do something like this. You have to set a child up with the options to do the best, then they have to make a choice.

Absolutely no way would I go away. DS2 has his GCSEs this year, and he’s currently on target for everything (just about), but I still wouldn’t even do a short break at Easter. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to make him stay in all day revising, and he’ll definitely have plenty of time playing football etc, but he’ll need to do a good amount of studying every day. He’ll be finished by late June , so there's ample time for holidays after that.

@Poppins21 I don’t think your attitude is blasé as such, because as you say, your kids don’t go to a school that does traditional GCSEs so you can’t possible comment. Apart from components of a handful of subjects (PE, art, music etc) the entire 2 year course is assessed by the exams in May/June. It doesn’t matter if a pupil previously handed in the most incredible history essay since the dawn of time, if they can’t reproduce that in an exam, they won’t get the grade.

It’s a pretty intense time, when pupils need to knuckle down and cram in as much information as they can unfortunately. It’s definitely not the time for a holiday. Easter is late this year. My son’s exams start less than 2 weeks after the Easter holidays.

Life does pause for exams in my household, mainly driven by DC who are very academic and want to (and did) well. All schools will advise to avoid an Easter holiday in year 11. They have loads of time off when they finish, so don’t get why you’d choose an easter break