To think we're going to have a generation of adults unable to socialise?

[Ezlo]

By that I mean in restaurants. I see so many kids glued to their iPods in restaurants, barely uttering a word to the rest of their family. The future unsettles me.

Exactly. I went to a "posh" private school and we had teen pregnancy, smoking in the toilets and kids expelled for drugs. I remember boarding for a week while my parents were away and a girl getting suspended for going into town on a weekend and getting smashed on vodka in the park.

And also, the parents complaining about badly behaved kids...you're the generation raising them! If they're all so rude and badly behaved, isn't that kind of on you? lol.

I'm older than you but went to a London comp mid 90s and it was an edgy place to be, West and South London. Fights quite regularly amongst boys, shouting and intimidation on buses so you would rather stand downstairs especially if, like me, you were a bit of a nerd.

Seen babies (6-9 months) in restaurants with phones propped up in front of them. Poor parenting.

Consumer electronics are cheaper than ever.

A kids Amazon Fire is about £100 and will last the span of their childhood.

And in terms of your overall budget… stuff like food is a lot cheaper, people don’t spend all their money down the pub etc.

And yet you're all on here 🤔

Yep I was south east London, gang crime and knife crime was absolutely rife, you couldn’t even accidentally step foot in the wrong post code !

But you only see 1 glimpse of their day.

You don't know if these parents have been to the playground, bouncy castle or park for hours before the restaurant.

Maybe these parents just want to have their meal in quiet and relax from the slog of parenting for a short while until the chaos commences again.

Notwithstanding the many dirty looks you get in certain restaurants if your kids act up a bit.

But this has always happened. It's not new. The only thing that's changed is people look at their phones, not the newspaper or a magazine or a book.

I have so many memories of going out for lunch and there would be a big table in the corner by the door with papers or magazines for you to borrow/read.

As much as I don’t agree with toddlers and their own screens the level of parenting expection people put on parents these days is nuts. A mother in the 80s was probably reading a magazine on the bus, looking out the window or chatting to her friend. She wasn’t engaging her 3 year old in conversation the whole day.
There’s that statistic that working mothers spend more time with their kids than sahm’s in the 70s.
Backseat parents seem to think you can’t leave a child to be bored and look out the window on a bus anymore.

Yes, completely agree. There have always been the same kinds of parents throughout every decade. The only difference now is that social media exists, to scrutinise and put people's every move under the spotlight. It all just amounts to parents wanting a break, and trying to get a moments peace. Some have more moments than others.

Yep I never saw my parents really

between watching tv or “ playing out “ difference wasn’t we were behaving just that our parents had no idea where we were and what we were doing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I never used to see this. Maybe in a breakfast cafe but definitely not at lunch or dinner

I'm with the people that wouldn't give small children phones and I never have even though I could have. I personally (along with a lot of more knowledgeable people than myself) don't believe that a child having a phone is comparable to having a picture book, or being bored and learning to entertain themselves rather than going for the quick fix.
Phones are not passive in a good way and I'm pretty sure there are studies showing them to be more detrimental than having a radio or music playing which are also considered to be passive but still allow a child to be aware of what is around them.

I read somewhere that todays teenagers are, comparatively, having less sex, smoke less, drink less and take less drugs than my generation.

I don't think things have changed that much, it is just a different medium. When I grew up people read books or newspapers on the bus and didn't talk. Kids would colour in restaurants and kids wouldn't talk while parents chatted. In fact we were told to be quiet while the adults were talking.

I hate people talking to me on public transport though. Would rather have the time to read.

Honestly I often seen the school kids now and think how far they have come 🤣 like they are there with their handbags going in to Starbucks to buy a frappe at lunch
we were hanging out the local off license trying to figure out which one of us has biggest boobs to pass for 16 going in 3 ways on a pack of 2.77 Richmond superkings🙈

I mean if she was happily playing or reading why does he need to push a constant stream of chat? Travel days are long stressful days, at times I’ve been in airports for 4 hours or more with the kids. A bit of quiet time is fine.
If he went on and on at her no doubt you would be moaning about attention seeking parenting or complaining if she was running about, but seemingly sitting quietly for an hour is also an issue.

Love this! Totally agree with him

I agree with this. When I was a child in the very early 90s and we went for meals or a family function the adults didn’t really engage with the kids at all other than to get us a juice or something. We entertained ourselves with the other kids and the adults did their own thing.
They certainly weren’t sitting there engaging in deep conversation with 2 5 year olds for the length of the meal!

I counted four kids with iPads and headphones yesterday whilst sat outside a cafe. Three sat in buggies and one (aged about 5) was walking along looking at his, his parents oblivious to him and walked into a lampost!

I don't care what anyone says - it's pathetic, lazy parenting. We have 4 dc's and have always eaten out with them from them being born - yes sometimes things would get a little loud but we taught them how to behave in restaurants etc. They never had a device whilst out and about.

I'm very vocal to my dc's about how bad I think it is to have your child constantly plugged into an iPad and the reasons why as i hate the though if any future grandchildren being brought up like this.

I'm in my mid fifties and never once in my life have I seen newspapers, magazines or books in a restaurant?

I've seen newspapers in cafes and books in some rural pubs, but not in restaurants.

And even the cafes would only have 2 or 3 newspapers at the most, so they were often in use by others.

It definitely happened.

We used to go out to a little cafe near us for lunch and they had a table by the door full of magazines and newspapers for you to read. Even chains like Cafe Rouge used to have them.

I remember ordering lunch and going to find something to read while waiting for our food. I even remember going to WHSmith before lunch sometimes so we could all buy something to read, lol. I would get GirlTalk, my mum would buy Red (does that even still exist?) and my dad would get the paper or Runners World.

I think this idea that everyone socialised beautifully before screens came along is a massive case of "rose tinted glasses".

It was definitely the case where I grew up in the nineties. Not in all places, but certainly in pubs, small cafes and even some chain restaurants. I remember going to Cafe Rouge a lot as a child and they had a little table inside the door with magazines for you to flick through.

I think your experience wasn't the norm though.

And I don't think people are saying 'everyone socialised beautifully' either.

i completely agree. It breaks my heart. I see this so often it's just tragic. If the child isn't glued to a phone or an ipad while being pushed around, so not engaging with, or noticing at all what's going on around them, then the parent pushing to buggy is constantly on the phone instead of interacting with their child.

I dread to think what the repercussions of this will be in another 20 years, when children who have been brought up this way start to have children of their own.