To think we're going to have a generation of adults unable to socialise?

[Ezlo]

By that I mean in restaurants. I see so many kids glued to their iPods in restaurants, barely uttering a word to the rest of their family. The future unsettles me.

yup and even before walkmans we didn't chat to everyone on public transport....its the old misremembering the past again.

Right as I said earlier well pick up time was time for sorting school admin for me - and it was followed by 20 minute walk where we talked followed by many hours of interaction at home. So it the snap shot in time thing again.

But I do agree that some parents don't talk to their child was at a child center back in early 2000s when encountered a mother happy to talk to my verbal toddler but think her DS - who had speech delay - couldn't communicate and wasn't worth playing with till he spoke.

I sat happily playing with her DS who has some sounds and gesture and my then youngest baby on my lap - another mother I knew sat down next to me with one of hers and joined in - we did parent easy repetition and interaction as matter of course - the mother seem bemused kept saying he couldn't talk. Afterwards staff mentioned mother had started communication playgroup - for DS speech delay but they'd had issues trying to get her to interact - partly why they'd wanted her to come to a normal group.

Never occurred to me before that was an automatic thing to do with a young child - interact. The children center I think still survive - not in area anymore - but services it offered were being massively cut before my kids had outgrown them.

People complaining about social media being bad for the world, yet you're on it, and on a Sunday! 😂
DM is always on Facebook, yet "everybody is always on their phones."

It's always been the case that some people aren't interested in socialising or speaking on the phone. I always hated answering the phone as a kid as it was always one of my mum's friends who insisted on having a chat with me, lol.

The thing with screens is that they're obvious - whereas sitting staring out of a window or flicking through a newspaper isn't quite as blatant.

Ha yep. I said this up-thread but apparently that's "different" 😉

I have no kids will happily admit I spend a lot of time on screens, but I'm also not sitting here moaning about how they're the reason society has gone to the dogs!

DS was 15/16 going into the lockdowns during the pandemic. He hated the isolation and he and his friends spent a lot of time gaming online with their friendship groups. They got into the habit of facetiming while they were online. They continue to do this, DS uses his laptop to Group FaceTime while playing on his Xbox. They have maintained strong friendships with each other despite being at different unis.
FaceTime is their preferred method of communicating when they are not physically together, which is a move away from texting, although they use Snapchat as well, rather than texting and WhatsApp for group communication.
DS rarely plays online with people he doesn’t know.
At least once a week he meets up with friends for a meal where they chat. They also have a “regular” where they meet up.
DS is a very sociable young man and can easily settle into a new environment but at the same time he is happy in his own company.

Obviously not all young adults have navigated the last few years as well as DS and I would agree that as a generation there will be problems going forward. Socialisation is important at every stage during childhood. The need to feel one of the gang has thrown up problems and has been delayed in some.
DS has noticed at uni that some have struggled more than others to settle into. One of his flatmates tried too hard and alienated other flatmates. DS gave him the benefit of the doubt and now is happy to live along side him, others have been a bit more judgemental. However, DS had a gap year and worked, he was also privately educated and there was much less disruption to school than in the state sector ( only one period of isolation, 2wks, for the sixth form after a party) . I know from friends that local state school had policies where whole years were off for weeks isolating and part time attendance for the best part of a year.
DS had only one week off when I was waiting for a clear test, I work in healthcare, during which time he was online via a video link in the classroom. He was able to interact with other pupils throughout the lessons.

Im not comparing state with private but there was a disparity during the pandemic.

In contrast my Dnephew has had major mental health issues ( he is the same age as DS) which had started prior to the pandemic but intensified during lockdowns. He struggles with any type of social interaction. But his parents have restricted access to digital gadgets and online activity so have isolated him further. I don’t know whether he will ever break out into the real world but he has ambitions to travel. Whether he will be allowed to is a different matter. His DM may insist on going with him.

Bullshit was everyone having lovely chats on the bus like a lovely kids tv program before phones were invented! Mostly any verbal interaction on the bus was horrible - I remember plenty of bus rides home where the shitheads from the boys school were calling me names, for example. Or listening to that lovely group of old ladies at the back of the bus bitching and moaning about the youngsters, much like you’re doing now.

I fully agree that people are generally on devices too much, but rose tinted specs aren’t going to solve anything.

The whole family is on the phone, not just the kids
Put them down.

Agree. Kids thrown straight onto devices and don’t even look up to acknowledge the waiter/waitress when orders are taken etc. Adults should also be modelling good manners and table etiquette by being presents and not on their phones too. You can refrain for an hour.

I haven't read the whole thread, but it is really hypocritical, isn't it? 😂
I think social media has a lot of bad points, but I don't agree similarly that people are complaining so much, when they're on it.

You are literally seeing a snapshot of a person here. Who’s to say they haven’t spent two hours previously setting up a tea party with Hippo and Doll and eating imaginary sandwiches, and are now catching up on a work call?

@CaptainNoBeardButAParrot but why on earth are you presuming that talking to people over the phone is a better thing than messaging/ emailing/ texting?

People don’t fax anymore - do you lament that?

What about telegraphs?

Im 48 and I hate talking on the phone - none of my friends do it. We still manage to be very close - in fact WhatsApp groups allow 5 or 6 of us to chat at a time over the course of an evening, rather than an intense 5-10min call. Much more preferable. And yes, I go out too.

Not RTFT, but wholeheartedly agree, OP. It’s no surprise that so many of the people involved in developing and selling this intentionally addictive, isolating technology don’t allow their children to have phones.

I do wonder whether it’s seen as such a problem outside the UK & US though. In the last year or two I’ve been to cities in Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Greece, Spain & Italy and I have to say the lack of phones in restaurants or just out and about in the evenings was really, really noticeable.

I don’t recall seeing a single child in a pram with a phone or iPad (though other nationalities are more tolerant of children being children, so maybe not the need to shut them up I guess), but even big groups of students and teenagers hanging out together didn’t have their phones out. It only makes an impression because it’s become so unusual here.

Whenever I’ve noticed groups of people all slouched silently over their phones at dinner in other European countries, they’re almost invariably British or American tourists. Massive generalisation, I know (before everyone piles in!) but definitely something I’ve observed and that’s stuck with me.

It's not just socialise, many seem unable to do much for themselves and expect there to be someone on call 24 hours a day to sort out their minor problems. If you're living in a flat and lock yourself out or are so drunk you lose your key, that is not an emergency where you can contact the on-call person from the lettings company and expect them to go to the office and get a key at 3 am, and certainly don't get mummsy to complain that the company had a 'duty of care' to her little 20 year old 'child'! BTW, you phone a 24 hour locksmith to let you in and pay the cost of their service!

I agree but I do think in Asia it’s even worse. Everyone absolutely glued to phones.

Don't be miserable. Nothing wrong with chatting to.other people on the bus.
Happy to talk to strangers online, but not happy to talk to people in real life is strange.
Chatting to others always makes time go quicker also.

You sound like one of those unbearable people who think that the world should relish the pleasure of their company! Your drivel is probably utterly boring, if someone doesn't want to engage with you they're not 'miserable'. they're discerning!

Would you say the same if the child in question at a table was reading a book? I doubt it.
All these people saying “we didn’t do that” and “we managed fine”…I’m calling bullsh1t on that. Kids were given colouring to do, things to read, puzzles to do etc to distract and entertain them when out to dinner. It’s the same thing, just a different method of doing it.

How do you know it's drivel? You do sound very miserable, it's probably best if you don't talk to people to be honest.
Like I said though,it says alot about ones social skills, when they can converse behind a computer but not in real life. 😢

I don't see the problem. The device is multifunctional; it's a media Swiss Army knife. On holiday, they spend all day in and out of the pool, but the kids still play outside when they're at home.

Homework can be researched using a phone, and interesting lead-in topics are the same way. They play multiplayer games. Friends still come around, I'm glad they don't want to sit in the park drinking 20/20, smoking and generally being a public nuisance.

Some generations need to stop judging; I’m glad certain social customs are going the way of the dodo.

I totally agree re. Asian countries. A lot of the technology there seems to be leaps and bounds ahead of ours as well.

I personally find the whole "you only see it in the UK and the US" shtick fairly unimaginative. I follow all kinds of creators from all over the world on social media and they all use technology and screens in a similar way, whether they live in the US, England, France, Belgium, Japan or Kenya.

The idea that there used to be halcyon days where everyone had a nice chat and nobody was rude is batshit to me. Having studied history, people have always been antisocial or rude or grumpy lol.

You're right - there's nothing wrong with it. But there's also nothing wrong with minding your own business and not wanting to talk to strangers.

Socialising with strangers IRL isn't magically better than doing it over the phone or via a screen or device either.

@Completelyjo why would they have been with their child for 12 hours already? It's an evening swim class, no reason to assume they were a stay at home parent.

Strangers lol, we are all just humans on this planet, why shouldn't we talk to people in real life.

Do we want to become a nation of zombies.

I was in a pizza place last week and there were 2 teenaged girls probably around 13/14, they were sat opposite eachother in a booth and barely spoke to eachother the whole time, just ate pizza and stared at their own phones. I did think that was sad, I remember going out with friends as a teenager and we did nothing but talk none stop, then used to call eachother on the phone to talk some more when we got home!

I think smartphones are such a distraction. I know adults do it too all the time, but for some reason these two girls just made me feel sad for them. I'm so glad I grew up without smartphones.