To think we're going to have a generation of adults unable to socialise?

[Ezlo]

By that I mean in restaurants. I see so many kids glued to their iPods in restaurants, barely uttering a word to the rest of their family. The future unsettles me.

This. They could be taking the time they're on the bus and the kid has the window to look out of (and it could be naptime and the kid could be on the verge of sleep if left alone) to pay bills, check bank balance, look for houses to rent or buy, message their friends they still have to message from two weeks ago, book medical appointments etc. They could have been playing with the kid all day.

this is the other way round; social media allows lonely people to have a feel of talking to others, even though strangers at first

Anyone with a preschool child knows that the little 20 mins quiet time with the pram is actually the only time to get this sort of stuff done.

My friend's daughter who feel does not fit it, was scared of strangers from a baby, had selective mutism, did well in primary, was in a horrible frienemy situation in secondary; would you accuse her of something here or ?

And to finish off, nicely: communication is not what all you think this is , but we as society have come long way to understand each of us has highly individual approach to it; mix the ND brain in it and come back and speak later

I used to always always take my 2 to places with a play area when they were little. One Wheatsheaf place was done out. When we went back, the play area was for under fives only (my 2 were about 8 and 11 by this time) 'because they now had screens for older ones!'
We didn't go back!

I'm 60. Growing up pre-tech was no bed of roses. I spent a lot of time outdoors, cold and wet. Everyone on here seems to have lived in warm sunny paradises where it was fun to be outdoors all day til the street lights came on - my memory is of horizontal rain.
The time indoors was spent reading my (library) books with the telly providing moving wallpaper in the background, and one or other parent shouting "shush, my programme is on" whilst lighting up another B+H - in the (one) living room in those days, with us 4 kids sucking in that air. We didn't eat out. Not ever. We might get some chips on dad's pay day.

So out and about to cafes with no smoking and a bit of directed screen entertainment.

I'd swap at the drop of a hat.

I could see this.

I used to wait at school gates and check for messages on phone- emails text or whatever app school was using - as there last primary was dire with communication and their missives would often make no sense - so I could then ask kids when they came out or grab teachers or head to office while there - to sort it.

Could mean I'd have phone out when kids were out to deal with stuff - but it would get sorted quickly and then they'd have me for all 20 minute walk back and once home - you could get tuts from older people and claims you were ignoring kids when actually focus was on sorting their stuff out.

I’d agree with this. I saw a meme a while back illustrating other things people have used to kind of avoid interaction with/ignore others - including maybe less obvious stuff like playing records in the bedroom alone for hours in the 60/70s.
We might even be overlooking examples of people actively avoiding socialising however they could, from times we think of as very ‘community focused’.

It's the Grandparents generation who seem to have TV dinners with trays on their laps (coupled with some bland overcooked abomination of food).

Also, I visited my mum recently. Only happens once a year due to distance. We went out for coffees and as I chatted away, she picked up a magazine and basically told me to shut up as it's her reading time and apparently always is with a cuppa... I actually took offence and then got onto my phone. And so we sat in complete silence - her reading her magazine at over 70 years old and me on the screen at nearing 40...

We can poke at every generation and not run out of things to say. It's all silly and pointless really.

I remember that Gen X were all going to be blind because of watching too much TV...

It's the Grandparents generation who seem to have TV dinners with trays on their laps (coupled with some bland overcooked abomination of food).

Our kids have eaten many more meals sat at a table all together then DH or I ever did.

We do now watch much less TV together as a family though.

Completely, my parents didn't take us much because it was expensive, and we were apparently, "too fussy." We weren't exposed to different kinds of food, as they just said,"you won't like it." They never retried us with certain foods. My dcs are much better eaters, and eat more of a variety of food, and aren't fed on a majority diet of turkey dinosaurs/oven chips, as we were in the 90s.
I laugh when dm comes over and asks, 'Are they good eaters?" She has a very selective memory. We apparently "never had tantrums" either." I had to remind her of a few memories of having a couple of them! She can't remember! We were also great babies (because dm had us in our own rooms from a few weeks, and didn't hear half the crying)!

So true, I got absolutely blasted for daring to assume that people were at a birthday meal to socialise. I should assume people are there solely to talk to birthday person and nobody else.

Technology is changing humanity- and not for the better. It has the potential to be helpful. However, largely due to human nature we have allowed it to change humanity by harnessing inherent laziness to strip
away intelligence and social skills

But I think it’s still prevalent among people who consider themselves to be good parents - and generally would be seen as such by others. Parents, put your bloody phones away at school pick up time, and talk to your toddlers. I know someone whose DGC’s speech is delayed. All the family are mystified. I’m not - it’s blindingly obvious from spending two hours with them. The parents hardly speak to the child at all. He’s basically ignored. Must kids will do well if they’re spoken to very regularly from birth onwards.

I'm an old lady and I much prefer it when the loony on the bus dosen't try to talk to me.

To think we're going to have a generation of adults unable to socialise?

absolutely. You are totally correct. There was a crazy article in the paper today about young people being TOO SCARED and TOO ANXIOUS to make or receive phone calls.

https://www.thetimes.com/uk/society/article/my-day-helping-the-teenagers-too-terrified-to-make-a-phone-call-9whf3nw99

It's a £ site but here are a couple of quotes that sum up the whole thing:

MATT RUDD
My day helping the teenagers too terrified to make a phone call
They may be experts in social media but college students are less certain about ringing phones. One college is running a practice session

"Of the 16 students in today’s session, none say they feel confident answering the phone. The majority are nervous at the thought of making or receiving a call. Two or three admit to going to great lengths to avoid a ringing phone. Asked why, the answers are all quite similar — “what if I don’t know what to say?”, “what if I freeze?”, “what if they put me on hold?”.
What is puzzling is that we’re not in some special facility for unusually petrified teenagers. Nottingham College is one of the largest secondary and tertiary colleges in the UK. It’s a modern, bright and buzzing superhub of a place where thousands of students fine-tune their vocations each year. But when the careers advice team set up a session for phone-call phobics, it very quickly became oversubscribed."

...
"In a Uswitch survey last April, almost a quarter of 18-to-34-year-olds said they never answer their phones.

When Baxter asks what a ringing phone could mean, a dread silence falls across the class. Someone suggests it might be the doctor delivering bad news. Someone else suggests it could be a potential employer delivering bad news. Or a vet delivering bad news. One girl at the back of the class is about to tell us what happened the last time she made the mistake of answering her phone but she becomes too emotional to speak. Jack, 18, who is studying musical theatre and enjoys being on stage, hasn’t answered his phone in four years. “Unless it’s my mum,” he says, but that doesn’t count."

Well do that then. What is the obsession with monitoring what other people in the same place are doing? I notice the same thing but not for me to concern myself with.

I'm not addressing that to you particularly but this board is one of the most judgemental places on earth... swivel heads and pursed lips/tutting. I'm not surprised that other people don't want to engage in real life.

This thread is full of poster talking about other people transgressing whatever social standards whilst their own children are behaving perfectly. It's embellished and nauseating.

I do like the concept of 'rave boy' upthread, that's my music too and good luck to him!

I feel exactly the same. Ditto creepy men and women that overshare. I'm not your therapy.

We already do! Look around you at work, on the bus or train, in pubs or restaurants, ask anyone under 30 to make a phone call to someone they don’t know…….

same here

No they didn’t! They read a book or newspaper, or listened to music on their Walkmans. Hardly anyone chatted on the bus unless they already knew each other.

Instead there's a new way of communication. No need to worry about them. In the end we're all social animals.

My daughter works in a call centre whilst at uni, she's fine on the phone, as are the 31 others - mostly under 25 - on her floor.

It is the adults that have the problem. She is working replying to calls and queries... God help when she has to call them back later. Nobody answers the phone!