To think we're going to have a generation of adults unable to socialise?

[Ezlo]

By that I mean in restaurants. I see so many kids glued to their iPods in restaurants, barely uttering a word to the rest of their family. The future unsettles me.

But I do agree about public transport. I don't want to make chit-chat with strangers and I don't think people used to either. I used to read a book/paper or just look out the window, sit and think etc.

Anyone who works in a school will know that the attention span of the average child and their ability to focus on tasks and be resilient seems to have gotten much shorter in recent years. It's very easy to spot the children who have a lot of screen time in my experience, and not in a good way!

Because not everyone wants to sit and bloody chat all the time.

Other humans aren't your personal entertainment devices.

I noticed on a London bus the other day, there were 2 teenage girls who knew each other, they had a brief chat then spent the whole journey on their phones texting not saying a word to each other. Then got off and went their separate ways. It was really sad to watch.

Why do people have to sit and chat all the time?

I often see elderly couples sitting in companionable silence - but nobody judges them because they're looking out of the window instead of at a screen.

But your happy to do it online. Odd.

Bit how do you know they hadn't (for example) spent all day at school together, and bumped into each other on the bus, and they didn't feel the need to chat on the bus home?

Exactly this. People can be in the same room, no devices, yet couldn't be further disconnected from one another. Or, they could be connected fully chatting online, also vice versa. People can be talking on the phone and multitasking in the background, so not giving the person they're talking to, their fully divided attention.
I think people should just do what they're comfortable with. I find messages a lot more convenient than phonecalls, this is because I can get back at a time I can give the person my full attention, rather than taking a spontaneous phonecall when I'm busy.

Yes! To the spending all day with friends and then ringing them up again when you got home. My parents. So exasperated!

We never ran out of things to say though, did we?

100%! Do we have to be social ALL of the time?!

Not odd, just not what you do. I'm sure that you determine who would like a chat when you're on a bus and I'm certain that you get it right most of the time. You don't know what other people are going through on that day/at that point so best not to judge them if they don't want to engage.

Typing here is easy. I can shut my screen anytime, backspace out of threads I don't want to participate in, turn off mobile or put it on don't disturb. It's not easy to do that in real life and even less easy with a captive audience on a bus.

There is a difference.

I'm really not sure what's so odd about it.

When I socialise online, I'm fully in control. I can opt out of a conversation, turn off my phone and walk away to do something else at any point. I can stop replying, or take my time replying etc.

In person, I don't have those choices. I don't want to be at the mercy of a total stranger and be forced to sit and socialise/smile just because I happen to be sharing a form of transport with them.

As I said, other people aren't your own personal entertainment. If you can't sit on a bus in peace and quiet, bring a book.

@Tootruetoberreal "Completely agree, I try not to judge people from one snapshot of their day. You don't walk in their shoes, nor know what is going on in their lives. Sure, it may just be ignorant, or it might be due to a whole host of other reasons. Life isn't black and white, please look for the grey.

Before electronics, I'm sure the older generation judged parents (probably some posting on this thread) who used colouring books/toys to entertain their children in public."

Agreed. Older generations probably judged parents for even daring to take their children out to restaurants as that was an adult activity - bar McDonald's/Wacky Warehouse style pubs

As I said, I am discerning and boring strangers are to be avoided. I can assure you I am far from miserable with those with whom I wish to interact, it's just that random people who inflict their presence on me are offensive. Find your own kind lovey!

Can I come? x

Not every moment needs to be active interaction.
When on maternity I used to do pram walks with my baby for a bit of sun, get out the house etc and would time them around his naps so would walk round the park to get him to sleep so I would also listen to a podcast - if I'm giving him narration of the day he'd never have a nap!

I think there's always something for us olders to panic about. We always fear for the young and forget that earlier generations had similar fears about our own generation and so on.

Meh. It's a brief snapshot, you have no idea how much they've interacted with their child before the restaurant.

Don't be miserable. Nothing wrong with chatting to.other people on the bus.
Happy to talk to strangers online, but not happy to talk to people in real life is strange. Chatting to others always makes time go quicker also.

You sound incredibly presumptuous. Chatting to random strangers who are likely spouting inane drivel doesn’t pass the time quicker for me. You also sound like you’re not very self-aware and are one of those that impose on others. Who just want you to shut up.

Like I said though,it says alot about ones social skills, when they can converse behind a computer but not in real life

And again, presumptuous. Because I don’t want to talk to a random dullard on the bus doesn’t mean I’m unable to converse in real life. I’m probably just a little more discerning in the conversations I want to have….

I agree with this, I think it's becoming more popular to have "screen-free childhoods" but I haven't seen the same level of energy applied to having screen-free adults in the company of children. I know I definitely struggle with it with my own child - sometimes you only realise something is an addiction when you try to stop it!

I agree with this. The world is very different now, a lot busier, and a lot of people have less time than in the past. There were a lot more SAHM's, now there are often two parents working. They have to deal with wrap around child care, school demands, bills and everything else.

With all of the constant talking at work/meetings, children, relatives/friends,they get seldomly any time to themselves. The latter with public transport on top, I am not surprised people want to switch off and stare into space/do their own thing on a bus, rather than talking to complete strangers. Even if people don't have as much as that, it is okay to keep themselves to themselves; we're all different, and thank goodness.

@PeonyBlushSuede, don't be ridiculous, obviously I wasn't narrating the day or chatting to him when he was asleep. When ds was awake, sitting up facing me, we would interact and I would also pause for him to make sounds like a back and forth and we'd have quiet moments too. I guess that's why they nursery and school couldn't believe how well developed his vocabulary was for his age.

Lots of gaslighty responses from people feeling defensive about their screen usage on here.

Sure, every single family/couple/group of friends you see ignoring each other for their phones are just doing it as a one-off, for only the few minutes you saw them, every single time....

Meanwhile in the real world researchers are constantly studying and measuring the effects of screen dependency in countless studies worldwide https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9638701/

Agree, most people have convinced themselves that they are introverted and really need a lot of time alone to decompress, they dread invites to anything, will try their utmost to try and get out of social events as they see socialising as draining

🙄

Yes, because this is such a choice isn't it?! If you finally do something to make yourself happy, instead of always pleasing others, you're convincing yourself. 😂 Some utter sh** on this thread, out in full force on a Sunday!