Step son used my bath towel

[Green0911]

Want to gauge if IABU here.

My and my husband's towels are in the bathroom. Teenage SS keeps his in his room. We each have a hand towel and a bath towel. They all get changed every 3-4 days. When it came to changing them, I realised SS didn't have his towels in his room. He said he'd put them to be laundered a few days before. When I asked him which towels he'd been using in the meantime (he'd showered at least twice during this period), initially he claimed none, then admitted he'd used mine.

I blew a fuse. Couldn't believe he thought this was acceptable. Husband has laughed it off and is accusing me of being dramatic/blowing things out of proportion.

AIBU?

I don't dry my face on the bath towel but on the hand towel. Me and DH share a bath towel and (shock horror) I don't wash it after one use because I am not that pathetic.

So many people wasting electric and water. Obviously don't give a fuck about the future for their children/grandchildren

You're a bit odd not to dry your feet. Everyone needs to dry between their toes or the dry dead skin can build up. A rub with the towel gets rid of it all.

Why do you share a bath towel? I think that's awful.
Saving water - if you're washing the one you share, how does it use more water to wash two in the same cycle?

... please don't tell me you ignored the towel given to you ...

No. We did hang them on the bathroom rail after using them, though. Probably a dreadful faux pas, I know. But I suspect the host acquiesced without pain; she's a particularly nice and tolerant person, I'm happy to say.

As for bed sheets: it depends. Visiting family sometimes get to re-use, but we try to get crisply clean sheets for others. (We always enjoy clean bedding when it's due; seems a nice treat for guests.) When we stay with our (grown-up) children (as we regularly do), we don't always expect newly-washed bedding. Is that also a thing?

-- We sometimes bake special cakes for visitors, too, and occasionally open special wine ... hospitality, in a word. Sometimes on special occasions we get out different crockery and cutlery ... but we share all this.

Wish me luck everyone. I am about to have a shower. My towels were last changed four days ago and because my bath towels match and are not monogrammed, I have no idea which one my husband may have used. I hope I survive ☹️

When did the notion of personal towels start, I wonder?

I was brought up with it by a mother who was born in 1918.

we don't always expect newly-washed bedding. Is that also a thing?

Definitely. I would never put anyone in unwashed sheets nor would I expect it anywhere else.

I have four teenagers/older dc's and the towel situation is chaos in our house. Having their own towels has never worked. I keep my own towels in my en suite now and the rest it's a free for all.

It is a bit gross but blowing a fuse is ridiculous.

I have constructed a towel incinerator in the back garden. We all don our hazmat suits and destroy all towels (and flannels) with fire after they are used once.

We use the bath towel for 3 to 4 days and the hand towel for 2 days. I put the towels in the laundry basket and only wash them when I have enough to fill the washing machine which is about once every 3 to 4 weeks.

Many posters say they wash them after one use so even if they wait until they have a few they are, obviously, washing towels far more often than I am.

Oh and why wouldn't we share a towel? I find it very odd that so many couples insist on separate towels

Well he needs to be washing his own stuff not 'putting things in to be laundered' whatever that means. You wash your towels, it takes about an hour, you immediately take them out and dry them, then put them back to be used.
If you're saying you wash the entire families towels every three days I'd say that's somewhat excessive.
If it bothers you that much tell him to buy you a new set.
But you frankly sound massively OTT.

OMG 😮 Please update if you survive and good luck. You're going to need it.

Eh? Why is it gross? I doubt if the lad has leprosy. Why are you making a fuss over a towel? Absolute severe over reaction. Me and my family all just use the same towels.

So many filthy, grim folk out there. Yuk.

Phew! I think hanging on the rail is OK though, that's a sensible place for wet towels in my view.

Interesting re the bedsheets. I would always give fresh sheets to guests unless they would share a bed e.g. if SIL came after BIL (they're married) I might leave the sheets on, or friend A came and then came back a couple of weeks later with friend B and they shared a bed so I left the sheets.

I remember being horrified when going to stay at my in-laws and somehow finding out that they hadn't changed the sheets between my SIL and BIL (whose hygiene is pretty poor) staying and us. Perhaps I'd be considered overly fussy with that too.

Oh OP, you are not wrong to be pissed off.
Absolutely disgusting.
He deliberately used yours.
You do all the laundry too?
Another woman sucked into being skivvy aupair for a mans children.🙄

Just had a shower. My towel is on day 3 of use. Feels as clean and soft as it did when it was washed. Obviously if I got a microscope out I would see that it wasn’t as clean, but I am still alive and I can do many more enjoyable things this weekend than do laundry.

And I wonder what percentage of people who feel the need to wash towels everyday are women?

Am I misunderstanding your post? You only do laundry every 3rd week?

I don't wash towels on their own. I've a 9kg machine so a couple of towels go in with the white cotton bedding and all are washed at 60C. Usually once a week but I can easily make up a fullish load with towels , white cotton underwear, etc all at 60C.

Our machine is a Miele. The water and length of the cycle is changed depending on how big the load is- the machine weighs it so water and electric aren't wasted.

I don't have space to store up to 8 used towels for 4 weeks.

I don't want to share a towel with anyone, not even my husband. It's just not a done thing. Even when we first met and I stayed overnight for the first time, he gave me a towel of my own (and I didn't ask for it.)

I've never heard of anyone sharing towels except on MN.

Agreed. It's not something I ever really think about I just wash towels every day and put them out to be used. No stress if they are shared either. Didn't realise it was a thing to have designated towels.

Which washing machine only takes an hour for a full wash? I assume that isn’t the eco cycle

My Miele does a full load at 60C in 49 mins.

You blew a fuse though? 🚩

Hmm. Interesting.

I wonder: are you prepared to give an appreciation of your and your mother's class? I know this can be something of a fraught notion, and people are not even always aware .... but it's interesting to consider.

My mother was born a few years earlier than yours. Class: parents were lucky enough to snaffle a council house immediately post war; me and siblings got educated and later embourgeoisified. No personal towels within living memory. You?

MN is certainly an eye opener.

Are all the 'towel sharers' following the way they were brought up?

It's perfectly obvious that most people have a towel of their own.

If you check into a hotel or a self catering house, there are towels on the bed or in the bathroom.

It's obvious that for a couple there are 2 bath towels and 2 hand towels, in two piles. Usually one pile on each side of the bed. It couldn't be clearer what the norm is!

@SallymetLarry is that an eco cycle?

Mine does full load 60c in 59mins