Step son used my bath towel

[Green0911]

Want to gauge if IABU here.

My and my husband's towels are in the bathroom. Teenage SS keeps his in his room. We each have a hand towel and a bath towel. They all get changed every 3-4 days. When it came to changing them, I realised SS didn't have his towels in his room. He said he'd put them to be laundered a few days before. When I asked him which towels he'd been using in the meantime (he'd showered at least twice during this period), initially he claimed none, then admitted he'd used mine.

I blew a fuse. Couldn't believe he thought this was acceptable. Husband has laughed it off and is accusing me of being dramatic/blowing things out of proportion.

AIBU?

Average towels. Large machine.

People are funny over towels.

If yours and your DH have them in the bathroom - then keep a spare one for him - or even 2 spares he can use.

What did you expect him to do? He was wet naked and had no towel. He did the next best thing.

If your towel is so precious - you remove your towel from the bathroom. He can share with his dad.

I’d be really upset too. I hate sharing towels, it really makes me cringe.

Hopefully by going off the deep end this time, you’ll have made sure it’s not repeated. I’d still get a towel rail and keep my towels separate in future.

He's a teenage boy, be grateful he is using the shower. I don't think this warranted flipping your lid or a mumsnet post. You could've just said "eight dss, that's grim, next time get a new one from the airing cupboard"

Oh my. You must have a really nice life if this is what passes as a drama in your house..no its not ideal but goodness me this is such an overreaction !!!

I wonder what that does for the self esteem of a teenager to see you blow a fuse about something that touched them. I don't like towel sharing either but you are the adult in the situation and should act like it.

“E. coli grows quite well on towels. Within about three or four days, you’ll get fecal bacteria in the towel easily because it’s wet, it’s moist,” Gerba explained. “And it’s hard to get rid of the bacteria when you do your laundry with a cold-water wash. Towels are so thick it’s hard to get them really clean.”
And that means …
“You’ll get more E. coli in your face when you dry your face with a towel at home than if you stuck your head in a toilet and flushed,” Gerba said. “You’ve got to use hot water wash and dry towels really well.”

We don't even have individual towels! If it's clean and dry it gets used.

Off with his head !

Agreed. Complete overreaction

You’ve recognised it yourself, “he’s a typical teenager” so not worth blowing a fuse over. You could have calmly explained why that’s not acceptable for you and maintained a peaceful and happy home. When I was a teenager I realised my step dad had been using my toothbrush for God knows how long and I cried (howled in fact) so I get that response. I certainly wouldn’t like to share a towel either but as an adult I wouldn’t react in the same way I did when I was 13 even if I felt that way inside. What we verbally express is a choice as adults and this can make the difference between a happy or tense home. Your husband sounds great. You should laugh about it too. It’s all ok. Have a lovely Sunday.x

He's a typical teenager with little concern about personal hygiene. And we shared a bath towel (bath! Not just a hand towel) for 3 days

But to use a towel he must have washed? So was clean?

Are you always this dramatic?

Using someone else’s towel is a red flag to others. It shows a complete lack of respecting other’s personal boundaries.

I completely get it - I have SC and cannot bear if they use my towel. DH does not understand.

Why can't they ask for one if they need one! I try not to 'blow up' because I do think it's a ridiculous thing to get stressed about.

But I get it and I feel exactly the same way!

I don't think many are disagreeing that it isn't ideal, but that her reaction was OTT.

Using someone else’s towel is a red flag to others. It shows a complete lack of respecting other’s personal boundaries.

Crikey - is everything a 'red flag' now??

FFS - it's a towel. Get over it.

Hang on. So eight bath towels and hand towels daily would be three or four washloads a day! And you have bedding for eight and clothing for eight on top of that?

How does he make the distinction? Does yours have '@Green0911's towel" embroidered in large letters? Or does it just look like a regular towel?
I have a towel that I'm irrationality attached to (had it longer than I've had the husband, never mind the kids!). That lives in my bedroom when it's not being used/washed. Anything in the family bathroom is fair game.
If you don't want him to use your towel, keep yours in your room maybe?

We have a shared hand towel that I change daily. The towels for the day would easily be a load every second day. Obviously, with that many people, I bought the biggest domestic machine I could. The older two do their own clothes though, so that's not in the count.

As of this minute, I haven't done anywashing in two days. I plan a big washing day tomorrow. Probably 4-5 loads. But that is probably it for a couple more days. It depends what's happening how I spread it out.

Your reaction was ott. Just make sure he has access to clean towels so he can help himself.

@BettyBardMacDonald it’s amazing mankind has survived as not everyone washes their towel in a hot wash after every use. Ironically the overusing of resources by those who do wash towels after every use is helping to destroy the planet which will result in the end of mankind!

I was merely rebuffing the first red flag claim with a counter. You failed to use the rebuff in context. Are you always this manipulative?

No - I don't think so - I just hate people using my towels and bathroom. I can have a new towel out, and if someone uses it, then I cannot use it or myself until it has been washed again. I have colour coded towels so I know which are mine. I don't even like using a towel someone else has used even after it has been washed, Funnily enough I don't have a problem with hotel towels, providing I always keep mine in a separate area to whoever I am with. I hate coming back to the room to find that they have been moved by the cleaning staff.

I use a fresh towel for every shower (I use a hand towel so as not to generate an immense amount of laundry) and I wouldn't like towel sharing.
But in this instance you behaved in a very ugly and ludicrous manner. I imagine he'll spend as little time around you as possible in future, and these displeasing situations are unlikely to arise much longer.