Boyfriend going on a stag do on my birthday

[Scribbleonapagee]

Yesterday, DP informed me that the stag do for his friend is set for the weekend of my birthday. He apologised and said that’s the weekend that most people could do and it’s not up to him. But he is the best man, if he told his friend he can’t do that weekend then I’m sure he’d have changed it! He can have his stag do any time, I can’t change the date of my birthday.

AIBU to be annoyed/upset at this?

Very unreasonable to expect a stag to arrange his stag do around your birthday.
Grow up - celebrate on another day

That’s not actual plans is it 🤣 come on.

They don’t stand around really. Do you have much experience? :-)

Because they already have savings now, so he could use some of it for fun money and leave some for OP too. Do you not know how money works?

How am I entitled? Please do elaborate. Also swearing AT people isn't allowed here. Wind yer neck in.

Okay, now I think you're about 12.

I agree. Is it a milestone birthday or just a birthday? Not a big deal.

Eh??? This makes no sense.

Sorry but wedding stuff trumps birthdays. Not ideal but do something another date with him and then make another plan on your actual bday. People are so so busy and sometimes we do get clashes. Try not to be disappointed.

YABMU.

You have a birthday every year. The stag day is a one off event.

Unless it's a special birthday like a 30th or 40th etc then I think you need to suck it up.
You could use the same logic the other way around....you get a birthday every year but he only gets one stag.

Not a lot of saving from what she said. Savings that are supposed to see them through her maternity leave.
It won't last if he's spending it on a stag do and he can't do more hours.
Perhaps you don't understand how money works.

You are aware it’s in May and if they’re consistently getting savings he’ll be able to put a bit aside for both? No wonder financial literacy is so low. It’s doesn’t have to be an either / or situation. But that doesn’t fit your oh he’s a horrible nasty man narrative does it.

I think the whole birthday thing would feel different to you if you werent a new mum being on her own day in day out.

Do not have another child with a man who is never around.

Yes, assuming you are over the age of 15

Are you a grown up?

It's really not a big deal. I've spent birthdays alone or at work. Also with family and friends. I've also had a couple of interviews on my birthday. It's just a day and as an adult, it's not a big deal.

Yeah I'd be more pissed at the 5 day holiday. Why is it so long? Surely 2 nights is enough.

You clearly missed the post where the OP said she would probably have to go back to work earlier because of their financial situation.

She’s also repeatedly said it’s not about the money or the amount of days? She clearly isn’t that fussed about the money part.

Let your hair down. Dress up & go out with the girls and party. It will do you good.

Not to mention all the beer money on top of paying to go and transport. It’s more than just losing wages. You stay behind looking after the baby on your own. He goes off on a jolly with his mates spending money you don’t really have.
why have staff and hen night suddenly become such a big thing! It’s a waste of money imo

Is the groom paying for your DH to go abroad for 5 days? How are you as a couple organising/budgeting for him to have a 5 day holiday from work that leaves you parenting alone and may seriously impact your income? I seriously do not understand the trend for foreign/extended stag/hen dos amongst young people who are struggling to make ends meet.

Did you have big plans? Think not?

Your birthday happens every year. Stop being so spoilt. You can still have a birthday without a boyfriend