Party bag gate part 2 - enter DH stage left

[JandamiHash]

Original thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5252894-child-didnt-get-a-party-bag?page=40&reply=141398805

To all the baked potato loving legends out there who followed my original thread, I couldn’t resist sharing what I think is a rather funny update.

So I’ve been away for a work conference today and didn’t check my phone til 2pm. Amanda had called me again! And messaged to say “Jandami can you call me please when you get the chance so I can find out what to ask this magician?”

I assume she means she wants to find out if I’ll pay for a party bag. So I messaged DH (who is fully invested in the drama) laughing about it. I didn’t reply to her as had to go back in the conference (and still haven’t replied only just got home).

Anyway at pick up, DH was standing in the playground waiting for DS and Amanda sidled up to him and said “Excuse me Neil? Is your wife’s phone broken?” (emphasis on the ‘is’ apparently). He just looked at her, said “No” and walked off to wait at the other side of the playground 😂 the best bit is - his name is not Neil!

I can only assume she’s either micro dosing with hallucinogenics or is genuinely mad. Nobody normal behaves this way.

PS jacket potato with pancetta, cheese, soured cream and chives tonight 🤤

It's not the cost, as far as I can tell, rather the principle.

OP gave the mother the magician's contact number so she can sort out a party bag for her son. That is nice of the OP, she isn't being mean at all. It isn't OP's responsibility to do all of the leg work for the mothers son to get the party bag and OP doesn't have to engage with her any longer.

Knowing CF, she expects OP to pay for it.

HNRTFT..well this one but can honestly say I think you are absolutely brilliant @JandamiHash . My children are adults now and this party bag bollocks just wouldn’t have happened,if it had I would have dealt with it how you have !! Amanda needs therapy!!

I have just read your first post and this one and OMG I can’t believe the balls on this woman!! I can’t believe she keeps trying to call you and went up to your husband. Honestly I really wish you would answer the phone just so we can know what she says because this is sooooooo entertaining.
I agree with you that no way should you have to pay for a personalised party bag for someone who never RSVP’d and was acting this way. It’s mad. Poor kid having a mother like this.

Do you think you could respond to her tonight or pick up a call just to keep us entertained? 😂

I wish mumsnet would ban follow-up threads.

Why? If you're not interested, the title is almost always obvious and can be ignored.

I agree with the poster who said give the magician a heads up. I guarantee she will try to sayvyou said to charge it to you. This woman has no shame.

I work in a school and the level of entitlement in some of the kids is unreal and, when I read threads like these I understand why. Our job as parents is to help children to understand that they can't always have everything they want. Your job was to manage any disappointment your son might have felt at not being invited to the pot painting party. Hers is to say to her son "sorry DS, mummy cocked up so there isn't a party bag for you because @JandamiHash didn't know you were coming.' To everyone saying to that it's not the kid's fault - no it isn't, but shit happens and he's going to have zero resilience.

Hell. I am bereft. I have read every post and feel the same as I did when I was 12 and had just finished David Copperfield. In a state of near panic that all these characters I invested myself in would be forevermore frozen in time, no more utterances, positive or otherwise. I shall just have to trawl deeper until sleep takes me gently into tomorrow.

OP was the bigger person. She organised and paid for suitable food even though she had been given no notice of his dietary requirements. As she said she couldn't pull a party bag out of her arse.

Apparently the child's mother was far too busy and important to RSVP but after organising and hosting the party the OP is just a big meanie for not adding "organise personalised party bag for cheeky fuckers child" to her to do list.

Threads like this are useful for giving confidence to women who have absorbed the "be the bigger person" message and are repeatedly taken advantage of.

You do you but I'll never see berating women who stand up for themselves as feminism. I'd have told Amanda to fuck off long ago and not felt bad about it.

I really want op to message Amanda to find out what she wants?

You're really not looking hard enough!

There's no way Amanda would have let you off the hook for giving her kid a 'substandard' non-personalised party bag without the magic tricks anyway. That would probably be even worse, whines of 'he felt really left out' still, but peppered with 'inferior substitute'

Manus surely? 🤣

Oh that’s brilliant.

you could have said that at the start when she first started complaining.

Did she say her son doesn’t like him?

arcticpandas

Owe, thatce ecksselent!

Yes, apparently he snitches to teachers if they commit minor playground misdemeanours like breaking twigs.

Funniest thing I've read on here.

I've really enjoyed both threads. Amanda's audacity is hilarious. The OP has handled the situation well IMO and her DH's monosyllabic contribution was great. But I think what I've liked most are the loony responses from a small minority. 😅 Highly entertaining.

Exactly. I'm surprised people have suggested it repeatedly knowing that the son was disappointed because he didn't have the special personalised party bag, not just the standard party bag. He'd still likely have mentioned not doing the magic tricks etc and CF would still complain to OP.

JandamiHash

I think you need your husband to respond to "Neil!" with, "I kneel for no one."

Or, "No, her phone's fine. She's blocked you. Why? Oh, because you're an idiot." (Calmly and politely).

I’d guess that not wanting to play with him at school due to those things and leaving him out of a party when the class only has 9 boys would be different things.

Exactly, hence he was invited.

No RSVP but turned up anyway.
OP had to order and pay for a vegan pizza for a kid she not only didn’t know was vegan, but who hadn’t been catered for because as far as OP was concerned wasn’t coming.
His mother then tucked in to the pizza and took the leftovers home.
His mother also kicked up a fuss because she wanted a £12 party bag for her son, despite being aware that no RSVP meant no party bag
His mother is now wanting OP to pay for a party bag and is contacting the magician herself.

It’s not about the cost of a vegan pizza or a party bag. It’s about not giving in to a mother who realises she’s let her son down and is trying to pin that on anyone but herself. If OP engages with any of this shit, she’s enabling this batshit woman as well as sending a message to her son that any disappointment in life can be avoided simply by denying personal responsibility and acting like a twat to get what you want.