Party bag gate part 2 - enter DH stage left

[JandamiHash]

Original thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5252894-child-didnt-get-a-party-bag?page=40&reply=141398805

To all the baked potato loving legends out there who followed my original thread, I couldn’t resist sharing what I think is a rather funny update.

So I’ve been away for a work conference today and didn’t check my phone til 2pm. Amanda had called me again! And messaged to say “Jandami can you call me please when you get the chance so I can find out what to ask this magician?”

I assume she means she wants to find out if I’ll pay for a party bag. So I messaged DH (who is fully invested in the drama) laughing about it. I didn’t reply to her as had to go back in the conference (and still haven’t replied only just got home).

Anyway at pick up, DH was standing in the playground waiting for DS and Amanda sidled up to him and said “Excuse me Neil? Is your wife’s phone broken?” (emphasis on the ‘is’ apparently). He just looked at her, said “No” and walked off to wait at the other side of the playground 😂 the best bit is - his name is not Neil!

I can only assume she’s either micro dosing with hallucinogenics or is genuinely mad. Nobody normal behaves this way.

PS jacket potato with pancetta, cheese, soured cream and chives tonight 🤤

Jacket potato tapas?! That sounds amazing!

Love these threads.

Coleslaw and chopped up dates, that's my contribution to jacket potatoes. The Medjool type that Amanda buys. Fancy coleslaw, obvi, although dirt cheap will do in a push.

What's the Neil link to Gavin and Stacy? (I'm sorry I've never watched it).

The difference by using my time on MN I’m enjoying myself. Again I’m probably just hardened but o don’t spend a nanosecond pandering to piss takers of this level

arcticpandas · Today 19:01

Pseudonym not synonym. Sorry been helping DS with his homework...

Oh dear! I hope it wasn't English...

😃

No, have been member for ages. But it's a long time since I have seen such a post with such nastiness. Why do so many people seem to think that bitchiness is acceptable? I hope it's not the way people behave IRL but I am starting to wonder...

No. I hope she is a Mnetter. People like Amanda need a dose of reality. Every school has them - CF's who think the world revolves around them and their child. Forgetting to reply could have been a genuine mistake, but any decent human would have bent over backwards with apologies, popped out to sort their own food, not taken a pizza purchased by OP without asking and OF COURSE not expected a party bag. To then carry this on for days with texts, calls and accosting 'Neil' is outrageous behaviour. She absolutely needs to read people's opinions and make changes to her CF behaviour.

Things I can't believe from this thread.

Let's deal with baked potatoes first.

That anyone, ever, thinks prawns and Marie Rose sauce go with a baked potato
£9. A plain baked potato from a cafe. £9. Bonkers.

I like mine with four deep cuts like a diagonal cross, flesh scooped out and mashed with grated cheese, put back in the oven until it all melts together and then topped with crispy bacon pieces, spring onion and sour cream with chives.
That's not a thing I can't believe, that's numero uno choice.

Party Etiquette
That people don't reply, that's rude, no ifs and no buts under everyday circumstances
That people turn up without having responded in any way at any time
That random siblings or even people who've heard about the party, expect to attend. Obviously doesn't apply between friends who've asked in advance
Having tagged on like it's a drop-in free for all, parents expect special dietary requirements catered for and party bags provided, unless it's a slice of cake and a balloon like in ye olden days
A £2 gift for the birthday child, when the parents are very obviously well off, let alone a colouring book but nothing to colour with
£12 for the kids' take home party bags
The brass neck of someone who won't let it go

It's all out of hand and madness.

It was actually! 😅

I've just caught up with the end of the last thread.

Mean girls? Oh FFS. Amanda is a weapons grade cheeky fucker who has just run head first into the consequences of her (in)actions. Her child's upset is not the OP's fault or responsibility.

OP you're right, being a doormat isn't feminism and neither is calling women with firm boundaries "means girls".

Anyway the neighbours now think I'm more of a nutter because I was laughing so loudly at some of the posts on that thread.

@Hadtocomment Surely that can't cause you any more time and hassle than several long semi-public threads on MN?

You're writing long paragraphs wondering why OP is wasting her time writing on MN 😂

Many thanks for your reply.

Clearly, the mothers are the problem not the children. It might have been a nice gesture to get the boy a party bag with different contents after the event instead of bitching about the other mother and about having to buy another pizza because that's all it came down to - the cost of one pizza.

It’s not bitchy, it’s boundaries

I'm so invested in this thread. I hope she comes back with something cuntish. But I sort of hope she just gets to fuck at the same time. Good on you standing up to her OP. 💪

Sorry not read full thread, so slightly bemused by the jacket potatoes, but Crikey O'Riley she has a cheek! Her DS might possibly have been slightly disappointed for a second or two but I'll bet she is fanning the flames there.

Have had experiences like previous posters of parents bringing younger siblings uninvited to an at home party and expecting party bags. I usually have a couple extra good to go, but presumptuous all the same.

Best party 'bag' ever was from a mum who was clearly utterly teed off with the whole palaver of party bags and handed each kid a pair of socks at the end - no cake, sweets, cheap toys etc - just socks. Bloody loved it! DS was chuffed too.

I wasn’t far off with my £9.99 guess.

Re. baked potatoes - I do like a baked potato just with lots of good, salted butter. But as I have recently been diagnosed type 2 diabetic, I am cutting down drastically on carbs, so there aren’t many baked potatoes in my future. Sad. So sad.

When the boys were small, we were on holiday in Wales, and ds3 was just weaned, and our go-to easy meal for him, if we were eating out, was baked potatoes with cheese and beans - Dh and ds3 would share one. By the end of the fortnight, the poor lad couldn’t face another baked potato. I know we could have been more imaginative, but as ds3 is now nearly 28, he clearly survived, and he has forgiven me.

This is getting so over-egged it makes me wonder if any of this is real as it seems to be making a total drama out of nearly nothing.

Be here tomorrow for the next thrilling instalment..😂

My God this woman has the hide of a Rhino

A garden centre near me charge £10 for 1 jacket potato with butter..
Prawns and Marie Rose sauce are fab in a JP....

She is unbelievable.

I'm also not surprised that you're being called a bitch and a bully for daring to hold boundaries. It's a shame women are taught to bend over backwards and 'be kind' to people who'd walk all over them if given the chance.

Re Marie Rose Prawns: it's the most popular JP we sell.

Note....the prawns are mixed in what Heinz have started selling under the name "Saucy Sauce"......the chefs mix half and half mayo and ketchup.

ETA actually I think its one third mayo and two thirds ketchup. Rank either way!

Oh god she's a nutter

OP you're right, being a doormat isn't feminism and neither is calling women with firm boundaries "means girls".

Feminism...?

a. Do you honestly think that behaving like this is feminism? Do you honestly think it helps undermine the patriarchy? (Clue: it's not/doesn't.) Can you imagine a group of men wasting their time and energy on this kind of thing?

b. Women (and indeed anyone) can have firm boundaries without being mean. There is always the option of behaving with a bit of grace and being the bigger person. And, yes, that includes perhaps being nice to a wee boy and organising a party bag for him after the party even if his mother didn't RSVP and seems to be lacking in social skills. I know how I would prefer to be remembered.

And, before the accusations appear, I am no doormat nor have my children ever gone to a party without an invitation and RSVP response.

It’s nothing to do with cost but someone blithely thinking they can take the piss out of me

Slice jacket potato in half.
Add butter / butter alternative
Spread on peanut butter (crunchy is nicest)
Glop on some ratatouille (technical term)
Add dollop of hummus

Consume then complain about feeling overly full.

Have you checked the price of Domino's lately? A medium vegan pizza is £18.99. OP had already paid for pizza and for £12 per party bag for the DC whose parents had bothered to RSVP. Turning up without a word and expecting food and a party bag IS entitled behaviour but according to you OP isn't allowed to complain about that additional cost?

As PP have pointed out, their pizza alone will have cost more than the party bag and she took the leftovers home, so one could argue that your average man would have said "Fuck off mate, your party bag was the pizza you pinched!" which is pretty much what the OP is doing!

And the whole "be the bigger person" is "Girls should be nice" in different words. As you say yourself, men wouldnt give this another thought, do you think they would put time and effort into being "the bigger person"? Not a chance!