Party bag gate part 2 - enter DH stage left

[JandamiHash]

Original thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5252894-child-didnt-get-a-party-bag?page=40&reply=141398805

To all the baked potato loving legends out there who followed my original thread, I couldn’t resist sharing what I think is a rather funny update.

So I’ve been away for a work conference today and didn’t check my phone til 2pm. Amanda had called me again! And messaged to say “Jandami can you call me please when you get the chance so I can find out what to ask this magician?”

I assume she means she wants to find out if I’ll pay for a party bag. So I messaged DH (who is fully invested in the drama) laughing about it. I didn’t reply to her as had to go back in the conference (and still haven’t replied only just got home).

Anyway at pick up, DH was standing in the playground waiting for DS and Amanda sidled up to him and said “Excuse me Neil? Is your wife’s phone broken?” (emphasis on the ‘is’ apparently). He just looked at her, said “No” and walked off to wait at the other side of the playground 😂 the best bit is - his name is not Neil!

I can only assume she’s either micro dosing with hallucinogenics or is genuinely mad. Nobody normal behaves this way.

PS jacket potato with pancetta, cheese, soured cream and chives tonight 🤤

Not in any way defending #partybaggate but I think the vegan pizza removal is pretty ok. Nobody, and I mean nobody, chooses to eat vegan pizza when they can eat normal pizza instead. After a few occasions of asking if anyone else wants it and getting thanked for taking it away you learn that's the socially acceptable thing to do.

Yikes. Don't know specifically what I missed in the deleted posts, but surprised to see babs and allotmentgate (when it wasn't really an allotment) have been brought up again.

I'm wondering is Amanda gonna give up or change tack

The Magician is a personal friend as it happens. Met him way back on the grabbers. Truth be told, I loved him I did. Bryn will arrive when he’s back from fishing with Jas. And Gwen is on her way with the salad.
Going outside for a pint of wine, a fag and a vape.
Crackin.

why not just spend the extra £12 afterwards and come out of it looking like a caring person who has done something nice for a child?

If OP had done this, who do you think is going to see her as a caring person who has done something nice for a child?

The CF mum isn’t, she just thinks it’s what her DS is entitled to and she wasn’t grateful for any of the rest of it. Her DS isn’t, he isn’t going to know OP went out of her way to get him a party bag (he’s also probably forgotten about the whole thing by now unless his mum is reinforcing the loss).

And the reality is OP, like virtually every other person in the world, doesn’t care that much, certainly not £12 worth, whether the child has a party bag or not. Why should they?

Why did 'they' stop doing the black pepper version of Boursin, a criminal offence in my not so humble opinion, akin to Ritter Sport stopping doing Mocha flavour.

If Uncle Bryn isn’t the Magician then I’m not coming 😂

Will Bryn not be involved in the fishing game or will he get Jason back for that?

I think the allotment comments were deleted but I'm always interested in allotments - OP denies having one though.

I don't think you can leave the mum out of it. If the mum had:

• apologised at the party for forgetting to RSVP
• thanked OP for ordering and paying for the vegan pizza
• asked if OP minded them taking the leftover vegan pizza home
• asked OP for the magician's details to see whether she (Amanda not OP) could order and pay for a bespoke/personalised party bag for James

OP might have said that she would contact the magician to buy a party bag for James. However, as Amanda has been rude and ungrateful in every single interaction with OP, I can't imagine that many people would then want to bend over backwards to do Amanda's bidding. If you are nice to people, they are much more likely to be nice to you, a lesson that Amanda should learn.

@JandamiHash

You absolutely RULE. I am going to channel your Amanda-proof boundaries from now on. Most of the time these people get away with via head-tilts, persuading us saps into doing little favours etc, none of which are quite bad enough to pull them up on without looking like a mean-spirited tool.

I too live in York, and second the recommendation of the Shambles Food market. Massive crepe filled with all manner of deliciousness for £9. Ditto curries, burritos etc. I'd gladly share a dosa with you next time you're up and we can put the world to rights.

I honestly can’t get over some of the responses on here - the mum forgot to reply, we’ve all done it but you don’t turn up with the attitude this lady did.
Plus none of this “ohh you could have had spare party bags, ohh you should have had food for vegetarian’s, Vegan’s and any other food exception/intolerance that turned up.” We can’t cover every eventuality in life for ourselves and definitely not for everybody else.
The world’s gone mad, not the child’s fault but not OP’s either.

The mother needs to take responsibility - wake up and show up for her child. He wants a party bag then mum needs to sort it herself, take responsibility she’s an adult.

Genius Middlemarch. ❤️

Why is Gwen bringing salad instead of omelette? 🤔😆

Yeah, Doreen was meant to make the salad!

Doris.

Bloody spell check!

Because I says so, alright? Truth be told Doris is having fish and chips with boring Gavin, after she’s finished her session with the stripper. Gwen’s dropping of the salad cos it’s on her way to the clinic. She’s a regular there. Since she’s been with Dave. He’s riddled with it. Her eggs have never been the same since.

@JandamiHash love your work, thread 1 & 2 are gold.

You remind me a lot of myself. I’m wondering if deep down on some level Amanda intimidates you ?

Is this why you’re not doing school drop off or picking up ?

When you do see her, do you have a plan of action ? Or something prepared to say ?

Honestly way before now I would have told her to fuck right off. Amanda, you did not bother to rsvp to the party so I wasn't expecting your kid and as I explained he wouldnt be getting the personalised party bag. I'm sorry he is upset but that is entirely down to your lack of organisation - perhaps you can explain that to him and help him get the fuck over it. I've provided the contact details if the party bag is such an issue so you can buy him one. Frankly, I am heartily sick of hearing about it and I hope it has been a lesson to you that replying to invites matters - even beyond it just being common courtesy. Any more contact about this will be abracadabra'd out of my inbox.

The poster whose husband is more of a gentleman… I don’t think the op’s husband’s response is poor. The question of, “Is your wife’s phone working ?” Isn’t a question in the context of this matter. It’s a statement that translates to “I am being rudely ignored, you owe me a response, explain yourself and your wife at once”. The husband’s response is basically saying “we aren’t defending ourselves and don’t owe you an explanation”. I think it was a fair response, dry and witty and very British.

Hi. Biologist here. Sorry to derail but had to correct your misconception about yeast. Yeast belongs to the Fungi Kingdom. It is not an animal or produced by animals. therefore vegans (and vegetarians) can eat it. Just as they can eat mushrooms (also Fungi Kingdom) or foods from the Plantae Kingdom such as spinach, walnuts, beans etc.

That's it Middlemarch123 I'm outing you!!! There's no way you aren't Ruth Jones 😂

Middlemarch123 Just laughed at my comment; she knows i'm on to her 🤣

I completely forgot to RSVP for a party last year. I

It's just occurred to me. When she said Neil to your dh did she mean kneel? As in apologise and grovel for your disgraceful dw.....

Oops! I was just going to say that when I shamefacedly tested the water about my child attending on the morning of the party, and the mum very kindly said yes, I did say that I realised she wouldn't get a party bag or anything. The mum put a spare together, which was lovely of her, and which I really didn't think I could have been entitled to expect. Fully supportive of you, OP