Party bag gate part 2 - enter DH stage left

[JandamiHash]

Original thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5252894-child-didnt-get-a-party-bag?page=40&reply=141398805

To all the baked potato loving legends out there who followed my original thread, I couldn’t resist sharing what I think is a rather funny update.

So I’ve been away for a work conference today and didn’t check my phone til 2pm. Amanda had called me again! And messaged to say “Jandami can you call me please when you get the chance so I can find out what to ask this magician?”

I assume she means she wants to find out if I’ll pay for a party bag. So I messaged DH (who is fully invested in the drama) laughing about it. I didn’t reply to her as had to go back in the conference (and still haven’t replied only just got home).

Anyway at pick up, DH was standing in the playground waiting for DS and Amanda sidled up to him and said “Excuse me Neil? Is your wife’s phone broken?” (emphasis on the ‘is’ apparently). He just looked at her, said “No” and walked off to wait at the other side of the playground 😂 the best bit is - his name is not Neil!

I can only assume she’s either micro dosing with hallucinogenics or is genuinely mad. Nobody normal behaves this way.

PS jacket potato with pancetta, cheese, soured cream and chives tonight 🤤

Suffering 🤣🤣🤣. From the lack of a party bag?! He might be suffering as his mum is a CF arsehole but that’s not OP’s fault

OP has been very tolerant and graceful

Well done op for not being a doormat! I can't believe how many people are siding with cf Amanda. How do you have spare personalised party bags?? Maybe in future she will respond to rsvp's.

I saw -

"OP is a big meanie"

"Not feminist. Why is she saying feminist? What's feminist about feminism?"

And something referring to an old thread about an allotment (which made me wonder what had happened to that one too...)

Regarding your husband's involvement.

My husband is a charming, well mannered, professional and well educated man so it is difficult for me to imagine him becoming embroiled in a row over a child's pizza and party bag.

"Embroiled" = eh? Neil walked away I thought?

However, if he had so little to do that he needed to place himself in the centre of a row about a child's party, I Imagine the last thing he would be doing would be contemplating telling Jane to 'fuck off' in the school playground, even if she approached him.

😂priceless!! So Neil's "no" = "fuck off" to you?

Why should this be mainly the OP's concern when the child's own mum is at fault and does not seem to be rectifying this herself?

Would your own child be suffering if they missed out on a party bag? What steps would you take to deal with it if they were?

This Amanda woman sounds like a mad control freak. You have thwarted her and she doesn't like it. Watch out for your bunnies!

Primary school politics are so weird. I stayed out of them as much as I could - helped by having absolutely no memory for faces so that I struggled to recognise many of the children/parents even after several years - but we still got the CF situation of random kids (siblings) turning up to every party. One of them bit my daughter. His mother trilled 'oh dear Stan we've talked about biting haven't we' and that was it. Generally got around the excess of kids by having the generic party food and random party bags full of cheap eco-unfriendly tat (which would do for the next child's party and I think I've still got some in a cupboard somewhere) - and Prosecco for all the parents, because god knows you need it if you're sitting through a kids' party - but I don't see why parents should have to factor waifs and strays into every party. I've read through both threads now and am heavily invested.

I really hope that when you next meet Amanda the conversation goes like this:

Amanda: “Neil was rude to me”
You: “Who’s Neil?”

@MyLadyGreensleeves told op she was déclassé and knuckle dragging and their behaviour would be familar to ol’ nick

Wow this thread is bonkers. Amanda is rude, cheap and pushy beyond words. OP has been polite and helpful. Husband sensibly minimised contact with simple answer and quick exit. Amanda was clearly trying to escalate the issue by involving DH and no doubt will be bleating about this for a while.

lol what is this? Are you seriously bragging about your hypothetical response to a party bag dispute?

I think you should remember that OP was hosting a group of excitable kids, so when CF strolled in with her child, it won’t have been uppermost on OP’s mind to assure CF about the party bag situation. Most reasonable people would accept that if you don’t RSVP, you may not get the benefits of RSVPing such as catering to dietary needs and personalised party bags.

And seriously no one knows your husband from Adam, no need to brag about him!

Unbelievable!

What's really annoying, other than the why didn't you have a spare party bag etc posts, are the HRTFT but I think... posts.
Save yourself and us the time, because if you haven't read the thread you can't have a comment without all the info.
All the info is available to you if you
A) read the full thread or B) read all OP posts. Hth 😆

This thread is hilarious. OP and her husband sound hilarious. Fascinated to know what Amanda’s next steps will be. The fact that she has doubled down is very psychologically interesting. I suspect she feels guilty so is projecting.

On the jacket potato question, did anyone see that cottage cheese is apparently back in fashion? I have always considered it the best jacket potato topping so am pleased to be considered chic after years in the wilderness. £9 for a plain potato is astonishing. I would be tripadvisoring that joint.

I agree,the part you highlighted was particularly eloquent.
Also throwing "brutish" in was unexpected, a less common word these days, a more old fashioned term I think.

It's hardly surprising, that particular poster thinks that the issue is the lack of RSVP rather than CF's subsequent behaviour and confused vegetarianism with veganism.

We are now in the "making shit up" territory inhabited by those with poor reading comprehension.

@JandamiHash I just wanted to say that Amanda is bonkers and all your responses have been spot on.

I just feel sorry for James.

#teamOP
On the previous thread didn’t you refer to Amanda’s CFery with other parents?
Does she boast about how accommodating they’ve been? Could that be another reason for her relentless pursuit - to publicly announce how important/righteous/respected she thinks she is?
I don’t think she’d have tried any of this with your DH. My latest challenge is, “Would you have said that to a man?” Instant silence.

Blimey, there is a lot of projecting going on in this thread 😆
You sound ace @JandamiHash and you're spot on. Amanda's problem is entirely of her own making.

I think that all the posters criticising OP are guilty of similar behaviour. Rude and selfish people, who act in the same way.

On the jacket potato front, whipped feta is our new go to filling

She treated Amanda and her child perfectly politely

On the basis of OP’s behaviour on these threads, is anyone else wondering if OP really did?
Amanda’s behaviour is utter madness but I’m wondering if some of it may have been triggered/ escalated in the first place because OP was abrasive to them when they turned up?

What is with all the insults to Ops DH? He just said No. Since when has saying no to a direct question been worthy of such outrage?

On the basis of dealing with this school parent crap, I'm not wondering at all.
Oh and if op was abrasive at such cheeky fuckery, I don't blame her. Your constant attempts to derail thread and undermine the op are getting boring 👍

Thanks!

Ah yes, the allotment thread - that CF was probably Amanda’s mother….