Party bag gate part 2 - enter DH stage left

[JandamiHash]

Original thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5252894-child-didnt-get-a-party-bag?page=40&reply=141398805

To all the baked potato loving legends out there who followed my original thread, I couldn’t resist sharing what I think is a rather funny update.

So I’ve been away for a work conference today and didn’t check my phone til 2pm. Amanda had called me again! And messaged to say “Jandami can you call me please when you get the chance so I can find out what to ask this magician?”

I assume she means she wants to find out if I’ll pay for a party bag. So I messaged DH (who is fully invested in the drama) laughing about it. I didn’t reply to her as had to go back in the conference (and still haven’t replied only just got home).

Anyway at pick up, DH was standing in the playground waiting for DS and Amanda sidled up to him and said “Excuse me Neil? Is your wife’s phone broken?” (emphasis on the ‘is’ apparently). He just looked at her, said “No” and walked off to wait at the other side of the playground 😂 the best bit is - his name is not Neil!

I can only assume she’s either micro dosing with hallucinogenics or is genuinely mad. Nobody normal behaves this way.

PS jacket potato with pancetta, cheese, soured cream and chives tonight 🤤

Oh, and jacket potato:
+butter
+cheese
+coleslaw
+sour cream
+bacon pieces

Baked potato needs lots of butter and haggis. Or corned beef with pineapple. Fillings should be hot and always some cheese on top

My sister makes them with spinach and artichoke dip. I have to say they are delicious!

He's 8. He's old enough to know that sometimes parents make mistakes, I imagine how his mother is handling it isn't helping him at all. Even if he is a little bit upset, he isn't ''suffering''. At 8, he should be able to cope with a bit of disappointment.

OP refusing to allow his mum to walk all over her isn't making a fuss. His mother certainly made a fuss though, all over a party bag and after not inviting OP's son to her sons birthday party too.

Is Amanda enough of a CF to call the magician and try to get him to invoice you @JandamiHash ??

I fear that might be the next step...

I still cannot believe you are getting crap from people who think her childs upset is your fault, or problem!

Any normal person would say 'oh dear, I've dropped a bollock here and forgotten to RSVP - let me order some suitable pizza and ill sort my kid out a party bag later, here's a lovely gift for the birthday boy'...

Or words to that effect.

What the flippig hell? Thats about $35 Austrailian. They cost $21 here for a large basic type. no idea about vegan pizzas.

Actually how are they a thing as yeast is a living organism???????

You absolutely need to tell her that when she phones the magician she needs to say abracadabra and he will make one appear

Love this thread.

OP when you see them in the playground, if she says anything I would say directly to James

"I'm so sorry James, your mummy didn't tell me you were coming so that's why there wasn't a party bag for you. But you were very lucky getting to take your very own pizza home! None of the other children got to take theirs. I know DS is looking forward to your party this year!"

But then I'm a passive aggressive bitch

OP embarrasing herself because she's not bending herself backwards to accomodate an entitled rude pisstaking mum who OP rightfully refers to as a CF? It's not about the price of an extra pizza (that CF took home), It's about CF pisstaking. If anyone needs to get some perspective here It's CF Amanda who keeps harassing OP after the party trying to get her to pay for a partybag for her son.

Also, I think you missed out completely on OP's sense of humour while writing this. She is incredulous and full of wit, not at all upset needing to be told to calm down or get some perspective. The majority of people here totally get that and we think OP is showing a good example. @JandamiHash When is your book coming out btw? "How to stand your ground- learn how to set boundaries and not be exploited by entitled CFs. Bonus: jacket potato recipes"

I’m actually glad party bags were not a thing when my kids were kids. Birthdays were only about gifting the birthday child and food was thrown together so there was always enough for twice as many kids and no one was vegetarian or vegan or anything else. I don’t even remember a single allergy in the 20 years of parties..big age differences in our house. No one ever thought about siblings at home …they would get their day on their birthday. Kids went home with a slice of birthday cake. The later birthdays might be held at venues to play football or go skiing, but numbers were always flexible. It made no difference if one or two turned up or didn’t.

Mind you, there was never this much post-party entertainment , either.
I feel sorry for the child with that for a mother

Honestly this has been the most fun thread. The OP is very witty and smart and I’ve admired the way she’s handled both the situation with Amanda and this thread. Also we aren’t much for jacket potatoes as a meal down here but I’ll definitely be trying a few of the posted combinations this winter with a side of giggle remembering this I’m sure.

Love love this

Maybe you’ve never suffered at the outrageous sense of entitlement that means CFS walk all over everyone in their quest to get as much as they can for free? OP is leading the fight back for those of us too timid to stand up and say no 😂

She’s clearly hoping you’ll pay for it. The details she means are your payment details.

id ignore her at this point but it seems as though she’ll pester you in person. What a weird.

Lol I can't believe the "Amanda" saga continues or that a couple of posters think your being mean. It's not mean to set boundaries (I am guessing these posters are the type that never rsvp either and expect others to pander to them). . The mother is an entitled spoilt brat.

I wouldn't respond to her calls either. if she wanted a party bag she should have RSVP. I agree you definitely need to let the magician know you won't be paying for it.

I am guessing James's won't be getting invited to anymore of your son's parties. I always find it such a shame that kids get excluded because of there parents attitude and behaviour but sometimes there is no alternative.

@jazzybelle

Calm down. You are embarrassing yourself with ranting about a mum who you refer to as a 'cheeky fucker.' That is not very nice. You had to pay for an extra pizza which she then took home. Is it really that serious or important? Take a look at yourself. Try and get some perspective. It's not really that important.

As you care so much about the boy why don't you send the OP the money for the pizza and the personalised party bag?

This is such a mean spirited thread. She got it wrong, we all do sometimes but OP you don’t sound very nice either TBH.

It was a working lunch so claim the tax back.

(Misses the point of the thread).

She didn’t get it wrong. Sounds like this is her normal. Since she knows all hosts normally carry Spares.

She not only didn’t remember to rsvp she also didn’t bother to mention at all her child’s new vegan diet, so even if she thought she had responded. She didn’t care about him getting fed till on the spot either. Lucky op was doing pizzas and could just order another one. If it was a home made buffet there would have been no bag or food.

One rather suspects that those who would seek to defend ‘Amanda’, or castigate the OP, are themselves, what one may call “CFs”.

Try-on merchants generally detest being called out on their actions.

Just my theory you understand…

It's getting weird now

The other mum is hardly a shit parent for not rsvp'ing your dc's party.
I can't help but wonder what must be going on in her life and I'd likely cut her some slack in the shaming dept.
I don't think I'd have bent over backwards either trying to sort an extra party bag and would've gently explained to both you weren't expecting him, but welcomed him in (as you apparently did). Don't waste your energy being snide. It only drags you down and based on your comment that your dc had a tough year you're much better off spreading positivity.

She did get it wrong but that's not the problem her: it's the entitlement and the outrageous demands AFTER having gotten it wrong that OP is rightfully miffed about. RTFT

Oooh boursin, good shout. Now I know what I'm having for lunch!