Asking lodger to leave. Does he have rights?

[MrsRaspberry]

I am a lone parent and have 2 adult children as well as 3 younger ones. One of my adult children asked if her friend could come to stay with us as his home situation wasn't good(he lived in supported accommodation and said it affected his mental health)I know this friend and agreed. He's here on the understanding that it wasn't permanent and he needed to sort out something with the homeless team. 8months later and he's still here doing nothing to help his living situation. I feel he's taking the piss. My 8 year old is saying she hates him as he winds her up purposely then shouts when she retaliates. He has doubled my bills with his eating habits he takes everything in excess leaving little without a thought that others need to eat. He puts the heating on and has upped my gas bill hugely. He does pay board as such £100 per month which doesn't even cover the extra food I have to buy to replace everything he uses let alone the fact that my other bills have gone up as he sits up all night using my internet leaving lights on and leaving heating on.he doesn't do his laundry he seems to expect me to do it and leaves all his dirty clothing in my bathroom he doesn't wash up after himself and he doesn't even purchase his own toiletries. He barely washes and just sleeps all day to the point I can't even have visitors as he makes them feel uncomfortable as he's sofa surfing at mine.(My house isn't big enough to give him a bedroom) I have given him 2 weeks to sort out somewhere permanent to live as we can no longer tolerate feeling like we can't even enjoy our home without him literally waiting for visitors to leave and making it obvious that he doesn't want them there. He even tried to tell me my eldest cannot come to my house unless I'm here at home which to be honest if she wants to come over she's allowed to as she sometimes likes to be here when I come home from work. He's told a mutual friend that I've been unreasonable to ask him to move out and now he's making me uncomfortable in my own home as he keeps giving sly nasty looks all the time. There's no tenancy agreement or anything but does he have any rights to not leave?as I have a feeling he's going to try to make it difficult to get him to leave

I’ve just realised he’s giving you sly looks and making you feel uncomfortable. Start packing his stuff and throw him out today.

He’s not a lodger - he has been living on your sofa and not paying rent. £100 wouldn’t even cover food.

OP, are you vulnerable in any way? This is a totally chaotic situation.

Having a random 20 year old homeless man, who’s manipulative, lazy, abusing your child, and who is already starting on you and will likely refuse to leave, is absolutely unthinkable to most people.

Why would his ‘daft’ friends start messaging you? Do they have your number? Do they come round and abuse your house too? Do they take drugs/‘s drink in your home?

8 months later he's still here

How have you let this go in for this long?!

UPDATE. he is gone. I've snapped this morning after another sly look and him being a sarcastic little twat. So I told him he can sod his notice and leave as of this morning as I'm fed up of him taking the absolute piss. He can go ask his college mates to put up with his nonsense

No his friends don't have my number and they don't come to my house I wouldn't let him bring his mates here and he probably wasn't happy with that rule either

Well done you, has he took all of his stuff? If not I would bag it up for him and let him know its on the front step.

If he gets funny with you just call the police, he has completely took the piss and doesn't sound like a good friend for your daughter to have. Is there a reason he didn't live with a parent or family member?

Good on you 💪🏼❤️

Was your older daughter not embarrassed and mortified by her friends behaviour?

Well, I’m really bloody glad the rude and abusive little freeloader has gone. It was bananas that he was there. It sounds like he didn’t think very much of you, OP. Possibly any woman, which is worrying.

He's not taken all of his stuff. I have informed him that they will be packed up and he'll be informed when he can come collect them. He's only really got clothing and a few bits of books that he brought with him etc to be honest. As for his family all he said as to why he lived in YMCA was that he was estranged from his mum and the rest of the family don't speak to him due to the relationship breakdown with his mum

Thank goodness he has gone, he was a free loader and I didn’t like the sound of him giving you dirty looks and making you all uncomfortable after you gave him notice. Please change your locks for your front and back door as he sounds like the type of person to hold a grudge.

I wrote a big paragraph then noticed your update, well done on getting rid and dont allow this to happen again, of course he was taking his sweet time with things he was only paying £100 a month! Imagine rent costing that a month you'd never leave

Sounds like more went on, especially the way he treat you in your own home, sorry to say he sounds like a bit of a 'wrong un', hopefully you kicking him out will result in a fall out with him and your daughter too

Well done OP.

Bag everything up and have it ready by the door. Let him know that it is ready to collect at a time agreed by you.

Good for you. Don't let him back in. All he needs to do is go straight to the council house with his bag of stuff, and declare himself homeless. They have to put him somewhere. Never allow anyone else to move in again.

My daughter has already fell out with him he wasn't being very nice to her either recently calling her a tramp. She's told her boyfriend in no way are they putting him up at theirs either. She's said he can fend for himself and fuck off for taking the absolute piss out of my kindness

You need to understand the limits of ‘kindness’. Maybe also reflect on why it took ‘sly looks’ to finally make you wake up and not the fact that he has been vile to your 8 year old for the past few months. Why weren’t your alarm bells going off months ago and why were you not motivated to act then?

Sorry OP I haven’t RTFT but if he’s a student can’t he go to his college/uni’s welfare officer for help? Also presumably he has funding for his studies?

You're not the only idiot. We put up the apparently desperate boyfriend of one of my kids work colleagues, who found himself homeless, last year. Needless to say there was far more story behind him, and anyway after living off us for nearly 3 weeks without a penny to his name, he buggered off to Portugal!

We all live and learn.

He's currently in college and has apparently accepted a university place for september. I told him when I gave him some notice to leave to go to his college student support hub.

OP, learn from this.
Kindly meant...but....
how could you allow someone remain in your home one minute after they were un kind to your 8 year old?
You put this awful pup ahead of your own child for months.
Not normal behaviour.
Not kind and generous.
Certainly not kind to your 8 year old having a horrible 20 year old foisted upon them in their home, their supposedly safe place.

Have caught up with your posts OP, well done for getting him out, it’s no longer your problem. Pack up his last few bits and leave them by the door for when he comes to collect them. Don’t let him in.

You absolutely have more patience than me. He’d be gone as soon as he’d called my daughter a tramp and the second he made my 8 year old cry. Well done on getting there now- change kicks today and bag his stuff up.

Well done for chucking him out Op, I'd still change the locks just incase since he sounds like a vindictive young man.

Yes I'd be wary in case he still has a key. If there is any chance of that get the lock changed. Even if he gave you his back before he left he may have had another one cut when you gave him notice.