Asking lodger to leave. Does he have rights?

[MrsRaspberry]

I am a lone parent and have 2 adult children as well as 3 younger ones. One of my adult children asked if her friend could come to stay with us as his home situation wasn't good(he lived in supported accommodation and said it affected his mental health)I know this friend and agreed. He's here on the understanding that it wasn't permanent and he needed to sort out something with the homeless team. 8months later and he's still here doing nothing to help his living situation. I feel he's taking the piss. My 8 year old is saying she hates him as he winds her up purposely then shouts when she retaliates. He has doubled my bills with his eating habits he takes everything in excess leaving little without a thought that others need to eat. He puts the heating on and has upped my gas bill hugely. He does pay board as such £100 per month which doesn't even cover the extra food I have to buy to replace everything he uses let alone the fact that my other bills have gone up as he sits up all night using my internet leaving lights on and leaving heating on.he doesn't do his laundry he seems to expect me to do it and leaves all his dirty clothing in my bathroom he doesn't wash up after himself and he doesn't even purchase his own toiletries. He barely washes and just sleeps all day to the point I can't even have visitors as he makes them feel uncomfortable as he's sofa surfing at mine.(My house isn't big enough to give him a bedroom) I have given him 2 weeks to sort out somewhere permanent to live as we can no longer tolerate feeling like we can't even enjoy our home without him literally waiting for visitors to leave and making it obvious that he doesn't want them there. He even tried to tell me my eldest cannot come to my house unless I'm here at home which to be honest if she wants to come over she's allowed to as she sometimes likes to be here when I come home from work. He's told a mutual friend that I've been unreasonable to ask him to move out and now he's making me uncomfortable in my own home as he keeps giving sly nasty looks all the time. There's no tenancy agreement or anything but does he have any rights to not leave?as I have a feeling he's going to try to make it difficult to get him to leave

change the locks, bags outside, and call the police if he makes a scene. Don’t be this stupid again

Definitely give him notice and stick to your guns. Don’t let anyone who might say - oh, he’s homeless, the poor boy- to manipulate/guilt trip you.

Speak to your DD too! Why does she associate with such awful people? Why was his need more than the needs of your family. He’s seen you as a soft touch and probably manipulated your DD. He will just have to go back from whence he came. The YMCA.

So he is still there when the girl who brought him into the house has gone? You must be crazy! Tell him you've given him his notice and it's up to him to find somewhere to go to. It's not your problem.

On the day he is supposed to leave, I think you should get your daughters who know him, and their boyfriends to come round, so that if he cuts up nasty, you are not on your own OP. I know people say you can call the police, but this may be difficult if he turns nasty.

Please come back and tell us when he's gone, and how it goes.

Load of bollocks about the uni thing and not being offered accommodation. It's unlikely it'll be a tenancy as he will need to be on the waiting list to bid for a LA property, same as everyone else. But he could have done this months ago (I'm assuming he hasn't tried). He'll be offered temporary accommodation again. Which is probably not to his taste, but that's the route he needs to go down. Stick to your guns on his leaving date. He needs to accept whatever he's offered as he certainly can't stay with you until his uniform course starts.

Can I just suggest that once he's out, you change the locks? This can be done very cheaply and by yourself - there are videos on YouTube to guide you. Take the time during this week to check over your doorlocks to see what type you need. Have a look on Screwfix or similar DIY sites to find the appropriate replacement, and have it ready to switch the minute he's out. Don't trust that he'll just meekly give his key back.

For example, a Yale barrel would cost you £11.99 (https://www.screwfix.com/p/yale-1109-night-latch-replacement-cylinder-brass-33mm/76160 ). Pretty cheap for peace of mind.

No I don't think he has tried. He knew when he came to stay it should've been a temporary thing. He's spent months saying there was a problem with his housing application but now they're saying his application was only effective from November so I guess this is when he has actually bothered to make an application. There's no way council won't help just because he's got a uni course starting from September

@MrsRaspberry Just kick him out immediately for the sake of your own family. Allowing him to stay for another week is of no benefit to you or him. The Council won’t be able to provide fixed accommodation by waiting another week, it will be temporary whatever you do. They have a duty to help him though and will ensure he has somewhere to stay, even if he rocks up the same day as being asked to leave. They will either offer supported accommodation (especially if he has any vulnerabilities) or a hostel if not. If they need time to find something and it’s particularly cold, they can use B&B’s for the odd night.

He has no rights to stay at your property and you can call the Police if he won’t leave.

I don’t mean to alarm you but I work in this field and had a case where someone took in a lodger who started having altercations with one of their children. It turns out that he had been sexually assaulting the child and they felt unable to talk to their parents as they had invited them into the home and had it drilled into them he was a family friend. He had even positioned cameras in the property to film the child, which would be quite easy to do when he had a key and was often home alone. Please think of your own family and get him out. You don’t really know this person and clearly their behaviour isn’t what you thought it would be. At best he is disrespectful, but he could be a whole lot worse.

I’m wondering the same.

OP do you have a social worker, GP, or similar you can get in touch with and ask for some support? The situation you’ve allowed in your home is not normal and quite concerning.

Thank god you have served him notice. Can your older kids be there on the final day to ensure he packs up and leaves? Do you have a plan in place to change locks on the day?

His housing application doesn’t really matter as it will take years to get a property via the waiting list. He needs to go through their homeless team. It doesn’t matter that he’s off to uni, it’s about his situation today and if you ask him to leave, he is homeless. They will sort him out from there but he isn’t your problem. He hasn’t considered you or your family when he’s eating your food and costing you a fortune, or when upsetting you child. You have been kind enough to let him stay for many months and he always knew it was temporary. Your child wants him to leave and you therefore ask him to go.

I'll be changing locks and my eldest will be here when he leaves. No I don't have a social worker I've never needed one. As I've said I was genuinely trying to help and it's clearly backfired. First and last time any of my kids friends will have any help from me in this form again. The lad has no family support of his own and having him live here has shown why. He takes the piss. The lad thinks he's better than everyone else for some reason and has an air of arrogance about him which has shown since he's lived under my roof

Why on earth did he leave his accommodation. No need for you to take him on when he already had a place . I understand you were trying to help but surely you knew that nobody would house him in a reasonable time scale .

Make sure you follow through with him leaving. You gave him an oppertunity to get on his feet more so don't feel guilty that he mucked it up.

Have a safe plan for if he physically refuses to leave, too.

@MrsRaspberry There's no tenancy agreement or anything but does he have any rights to not leave?as I have a feeling he's going to try to make it difficult to get him to leave

I'm pretty good at landlord and tenant law, as a landlord of over 20 years experience, and I can tell you without any doubt whatsoever, the law (in England & Wales) is that this lodger has no rights of tenure.

It would be reasonable to give him two weeks' notice to quit, just to be 'nice'. But he has no comeback. If he doesn't go, change the locks when he's out and don't let him back in. Simple as that.

This ^ it's obvious why he didn't like/want to be in proper accommodation as they would never have let him get away with any of this behaviour especially psyching up other people

You need to sit down with the child who brought him home aswell cause they also need to be responsible here.

I cannot believe you let a man move into your house with young children and allowed him to get away with bullying your 8 yo. The minute he did that once he would be out.

@Namechanged4obviousreasons He has no rights to stay at your property and you can call the Police if he won’t leave.

And the police will say it's a civil matter - as it is - and won't do anything.

@MrsRaspberry I've said the legal situation, but in your shoes I'd change the locks when he's out as soon as possible. There is absolutely zero chance of a comeback, nobody can do you for 'illegal eviction', I guarantee.

@MrsRaspberry Parcel up his stuff and give it to him, obviously. But do it with the front door closed.

Thanks. I can see a guilt trip coming on once he gets to the day of having to leave and he'll probably have his daft friends message me or something but then to be honest if they're that bothered they'd take him into their homes. He's had his notice and chosen to piss about all week so now he has a week left. It's up to him to sort something now if he doesn't he can't say I've been unfair as he's had plenty of time to get on the homeless register as it is

Sounds like a nightmare!
Get rid asap

It'll be fine, but you need to stay firm and strong. Men/boys may not believe women will do this, and that they can just push you to give in and change your mind, - don't let them. Say no, and no, and no.

Get the locksmith lined up, front door and back door if you have one.