Shocked so many young people seem to be moving abroad

[lonielou]

First off, I know this anecdotal and perhaps someone here will have stats on this but I have one DD, been chatting to her tonight. She is 23, her school year are 23/24 now and we were chatting about what everyone from her small school are doing now. She was in a class of 14 at a prep school in south west London, we have discovered of her class

2x Live in Australia
1x USA
1x Hong Kong
1x Dubai
1x Kuwait
1x Germany
1x France

That leaves 5, DD is one of those and looking to move in the future but is still studying.

DD has no contact with 1 of these people so in theory could be living abroad.

Now I know this is anecdotal and she may just be in a particularly adventurous group but I also know several friends with kids living abroad, Australia and the Middle East seeming to be the big ones.

AIBU to be shocked by this? It feels like a lot of young people (all with the degrees or doing degrees) who could contribute so much to society just leaving!

I don’t think this is especially new stuff. I’m mid 40s and amongst my close friends most of us moved abroad in our 20s (back in the noughties!). Even amongst Dh and I and BIL too, we all were overseas for a few years. Dh and I met living abroad and technically I am still ‘abroad’ (the UK is not my home country). I can count probably 5 friends who still live abroad. Even MIL’s generation, she’s one of 5 sisters, I think 2 of them lived in Germany for a while and the other went to (and still lives in) NZ. That was probably the 70s?

Yes exactly. Those who can will. It's ok for the wealthy families but I know a few peers who are having their families in Aus and NZ and really they only see each other once every 8-10 years, they see their grandkids growing up over zoom meanwhile they start to ail and struggle with old age and they're alone.

I moved abroad 10 years ago and DH and I always intended to move back. However the salaries are so low and the COL so high in the UK, we just can't make it work financially with two kids.

The UK has a high net outflow of wealthy individuals. I believe it’s only ‘beaten’ in that by China. The number in 2024 was more than double that of 2023.

https://www.henleyglobal.com/publications/henley-private-wealth-migration-report-2024/uk-projected-see-highest-millionaire-loss-record#:~:text=With%20the%20country%20projected%20to,choosing%20to%20depart%20the%20UK.

I think a small class of students from private school won’t be very representative of young people across the UK. Your DD and her friends are likely all from families with above average income, who could afford holidays abroad so have some experience of travel, who have a good education so have good job opportunities beyond the UK and who have the security of families with the funds to help them if it all goes wrong when they’re abroad. It doesn’t surprise me privately educated kids from wealthy upper middle class families end up abroad but I’m not sure you would find the same high numbers from your average state school in the middle of a deprived estate for example.

I don’t think it’s highly surprising, there’s a lot of unrest between generations in the UK and a lack of understanding and tolerance.

Plus there are lots of opportunities abroad and it’s a natural urge to want to travel a bit. I have no doubt my eldest will move abroad for a period of time.

It’s called Brain Drain and it’s a well known phenomenon in countries where the economy isn’t doing well. Ireland suffered badly from it before the Celtic Tiger boom in the 1990s.

If you can afford a house/flat at all it's tiny. Promotion prospects are not always great, living costs are high and that is before we start to consider factors like weather and lifestyle. Eldest DS is a Doctor. Moved to Australia, doubled his salary. A loss I would suggest to the UK, but he doubled his salary and was able to buy a flat in Aus which he could not in the UK.

My did is only 14 and already has plans to do her degree here, masters abroad and then live overseas. Can’t say I blame her in the slightest and if it comes to pass then we’re out of here too.

DD qualified as a teacher and is teaching abroad. I don’t blame her. Teaching in the UK
is an impossible job for so many reasons.
When I think about her circle of school
and college friends (state school, 6th form college) actually about a quarter have left the UK that I know of. Aside from family there’s just nothing worth staying here for young people.

I have 2 DCs both engineering grads & 1 is actively planning to move.

this country is focused on the elderly and the non aspirational - it’s all about demonising immigrants and nothing about growing opportunities for the young and talented here.

If you are young, smart and want to earn money, why on earth would you stay here?

There’s nothing in the UK for smart young people.

It’s easy for graduates in good jobs to go anywhere overseas.

I don't blame them at all either. Things have been so hard for my DS growing up in austerity Britain. There's hardly anything left of him and he's only a young teen.

Nearly all of his peers in primary school had one francophone parent, so I would guess they all still have EU passports after Brexit. I wouldn't be at all surprised if they all flitted off when they are old enough to go. My DS also has an EU passport, though I don't.

In many cases, these kids may also be in line to inherit a house on the continent from a grandparent, which I think could liven things up a lot.

You'd possibly get a different view from a non-London school.

Shows that Brexit hasn't ruined these opportunities given that 2 people are in the EU. It's a great experience to live abroad so good on them. Doesn't mean it's forever!

Chatting to the newly qualified drs that I know, none plan to be in the uk in 5y

Ds1 is planning to leave. He's looking at Canada. Ds2 would like to, but don't know whether he'll manage due to his autism. It's early days though and he's still at university at the moment. I think
he'd head for eastern Europe. He's been learning Russian for a while now as well.

The UK is a sinking ship. Me and dh are too old to move and we haven't got the energy now.

I'm mid 20s and I'm just buying my first property (through my own hard work) and even I would like to leave but due to my job which I love I'm stuck here.

But it's bleak and depressing right now

Im originally not a Londoner but 50% of my class from a northern school live abroad

Yep.

I'm not shocked at all, there's a whole world outside of the UK. I moved to the US and despite some obvious issues which I'm not getting into here, overall I have a much better life.

Saddened that two of them have chosen places where women and those who are LGBT are treated like dirt, but in no way surprised at the number who have moved overseas.

If I were their age, I would too.

If it weren't for Brexit I would move permanently to Europe.

I am not surprised that many now in their early 20s have moved abroad from a prep school class. That's prep school for you.

Likely their parents did too and their children, your DDs classmates, might have lived in a variety of locations as under 4 - 6s. Many high flying/rich young people live abroad in their 20s and 30s but often move 'home' to settle down.

My older one (state schools all the way but v. middle class and well cushioned) hasn't finished A levels yet but she is telling me she hates British weather and I would not be surprised if she or DD2 or both move overseas.

If one can afford it, it's normal to go abroad before settling down and has been for centuries (cf - the Grand Tour). At a minimum, it's important to 'get some cultures' as the rich Chinese I taught described it.

I graduated in the 90s and virtually all my university friends (and I) spent many years working abroad. Some settled abroad, some came back to the U.K. Plus ça change…