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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shocked so many young people seem to be moving abroad

226 replies

lonielou · 15/01/2025 18:52

First off, I know this anecdotal and perhaps someone here will have stats on this but I have one DD, been chatting to her tonight. She is 23, her school year are 23/24 now and we were chatting about what everyone from her small school are doing now. She was in a class of 14 at a prep school in south west London, we have discovered of her class

2x Live in Australia
1x USA
1x Hong Kong
1x Dubai
1x Kuwait
1x Germany
1x France

That leaves 5, DD is one of those and looking to move in the future but is still studying.

DD has no contact with 1 of these people so in theory could be living abroad.

Now I know this is anecdotal and she may just be in a particularly adventurous group but I also know several friends with kids living abroad, Australia and the Middle East seeming to be the big ones.

AIBU to be shocked by this? It feels like a lot of young people (all with the degrees or doing degrees) who could contribute so much to society just leaving!

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 15/01/2025 19:51

Lots of young people want to live and work abroad. I have tonnes of people in my accountancy firm who studied in the UK from all over the world and now stay here.

ISaidOopsUpsideYourHead · 15/01/2025 19:51

TheMousePipes · 15/01/2025 19:33

My did is only 14 and already has plans to do her degree here, masters abroad and then live overseas. Can’t say I blame her in the slightest and if it comes to pass then we’re out of here too.

My son is also 14 and also considering which country to emigrate to too. Has done since he was about 10.

MrsPinkCock · 15/01/2025 19:52

DD19 is hoping to go abroad for uni in September after a year out… I hope she is accepted. And not just because it costs around half of what it does in the UK!

GreyBlackBay · 15/01/2025 19:53

My nephew is studying medicine. Looking at the final year students more than 2/3 of them are planning to go abroad immediately.

The UK is crying out for doctors and we're training them and they leave immediately. There must be a better way.

Lovelybitofsquirrel3 · 15/01/2025 19:53

I prefer the UK particularly due to not allowing a lot of harmful chemicals to be used in food and drink

FortyFacedFuckers · 15/01/2025 19:54

My DS is 19 and he continuously says once he qualifies he will be moving abroad, 2 of his friends have gone to America and another one is going in May, a few like him are all planning to go as soon as they are finished uni/ qualified. I can't blame them I wish I had done it when I was younger!

localnotail · 15/01/2025 19:55

I cant see how this is exceptional. Young people move all over the place! Maybe young people you know moved away; however, to add balanced view - our office / offices of consultants we are working with are full of young people from counties like Spain, Italy, Germany, Poland, China, Mexico, Morocco, Türkiye - who moved to UK and are very happy working and living here.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 15/01/2025 19:56

Jk987 · 15/01/2025 19:39

Shows that Brexit hasn't ruined these opportunities given that 2 people are in the EU. It's a great experience to live abroad so good on them. Doesn't mean it's forever!

Sorry but to get a working visa in the EU is tough now if you aren’t only British- I’d assume that they have an EU passport.

(Once that leave result came in, all the middle class families we know with a foreign born grandparent started looking into it, we joined in too but alas, my grandfather was the first of the family born in England, not Ireland, his older siblings were born in Ireland and so my 2nd cousins can get Irish citizenship.)

trivialMorning · 15/01/2025 19:58

InterIgnis · 15/01/2025 19:23

The UK has a high net outflow of wealthy individuals. I believe it’s only ‘beaten’ in that by China. The number in 2024 was more than double that of 2023.

https://www.henleyglobal.com/publications/henley-private-wealth-migration-report-2024/uk-projected-see-highest-millionaire-loss-record#:~:text=With%20the%20country%20projected%20to,choosing%20to%20depart%20the%20UK.

I'd heard that mentioned in an interview - they were saying focus on in and out numbers were hiding this.

We have had previous periods with brain drains though - last one my parents siblings and cousins went to other countries.

IL were going on about many of their friends were getting cheap flights out to Portugal or other parts of Europe to visiting their grown adult kids working out there and often grandchildren. It's not a rich area of UK - bit of midlands - but young are increasingly since left DH near 30 years ago getting skills and degrees as area slowly gentrifies or become satellite town to nearby cities.

So it's definitely a trend - not sure I blame them either and wouldn't be shocked in at least some of my kids went to work aboard for a bit.

Lyn348 · 15/01/2025 20:01

We have a house abroad but I wouldn't consider living there full time for a myriad of reasons, despite it being a cheaper place to live. Prices are going up everywhere and if you look at the most expensive countries in the world to live in there are plenty above the UK including Australia, the US, Hong Kong and France.

DS was fortunate to get a degree apprenticeship that is likely to lead to a full time job and is saving to buy a flat when he finishes. I can't argue that the weather isn't shit but that's what makes going on holiday so enjoyable.

I love to travel but I don't think there's anywhere like the UK to actually live - no matter how determined every single government seems to try to fuck it up.

AIBot · 15/01/2025 20:01

Why a surprise?

Most people in the UK have no heart to invest in anything of real value, including our young people.

I am thinking to go and join them.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 15/01/2025 20:02

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 15/01/2025 19:56

Sorry but to get a working visa in the EU is tough now if you aren’t only British- I’d assume that they have an EU passport.

(Once that leave result came in, all the middle class families we know with a foreign born grandparent started looking into it, we joined in too but alas, my grandfather was the first of the family born in England, not Ireland, his older siblings were born in Ireland and so my 2nd cousins can get Irish citizenship.)

Show quote history

It’s very easy if you work for any large, international firm. It’s going on all the time.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 15/01/2025 20:02

OP looking at your list again, surprised at not seeing Canada on there. UK citizens can go for 6 months without a visa and it’s pretty easy to get a visa with a British degree. A lot of Brits go “for a year” then stay.

Trixiefirecracker · 15/01/2025 20:03

I don’t think it’s anything new is it? We all lived abroad when younger, most of my friends spent at least 2 years abroad, some a lot longer.I was away for 6 years. They are all back now to have their families except two that stayed in Australia and one in America.

Halavonna · 15/01/2025 20:04

@localnotail That's very true. Lots of young and many not so young are happy to move to UK to work. I'd imagine that many global firms up and down the country (but perhaps mainly in London) are full of non UK citizens.

So it works both ways really. Those who come to the UK do it for many reasons, adventure, experience in their field, living in a big UK city and so on.

That's not to say that there isn't a problem, there is. But I reckon younger people always wanted to escape away at some point, and obviously still do. However I wonder how permanent their exile will be? Most go to live and work abroad for a few years and then go back home. Or maybe they don't if they settle down and marry/cohabit, have kids.

It's not a phenomenon, it's how it always was I'd say. Although life in UK is pretty grim at the moment, that's not the case for everyone or every profession/job either.

Prammyy · 15/01/2025 20:05

I have twins half English/Polish age 15. One is already telling me she is going to live in Poland. I will need to apply for Polish citizenship for them as they have only British at the moment. She is blaming me to coming and living in UK she said she can't understand why I did this move 20 years ago. I have family support in Poland for her and if she wants to go there is not a problem also with EU passport she can move around.

Iheartmysmart · 15/01/2025 20:06

DS and his girlfriend are off travelling when they finish Uni this year. If they decided to stay abroad I wouldn’t blame them in the slightest. The UK has very little to offer anyone any more, poor job market and low wages, expensive and poor quality housing, a non-functioning healthcare system, crappy weather, useless public transport system. I could go on.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 15/01/2025 20:06

@OnlyMabelInTheBuilding - sorry yes, also going with an employer who’s prepared to argue for you that you are the only person who can do that job. The OPs dds friends are pretty young though so they probably went immediately after Uni if they are already there, they’ve only been post uni for 2 years, but she does say London Prep so they may well have been parachuted into more senior roles via family connections and not just be on graduate training schemes.

FKAT · 15/01/2025 20:07

I have 2 teen/tween kids and I am doing everything to encourage them to work or study abroad on a permanent or temporary basis. Hopefully we will be joining them when we are retired.

SuzieNine · 15/01/2025 20:08

Trixiefirecracker · 15/01/2025 20:03

I don’t think it’s anything new is it? We all lived abroad when younger, most of my friends spent at least 2 years abroad, some a lot longer.I was away for 6 years. They are all back now to have their families except two that stayed in Australia and one in America.

Exsctly, I struggle to think of any of my friends or relatives who didn’t live and work abroad in their 20s and 30s. Some stayed, some came back. This has always happened.

Rivett · 15/01/2025 20:09

Candlesandmatches · 15/01/2025 19:02

Maybe this helps give a bit of perspective. We moved from Uk - south, near London, to Europe when my DC we primary school age.
Here it is expensive however on the flip side, the weather is better, the health care is excellent, quick and efficient, public transport is on time, clean, not expensive and plentiful even at night. We can swim in the lakes in summer. Beautiful countryside.
Children learn the the National languages, English and 2 other languages at school. I am teaching 10/11 year olds who are basically fluent in English. Most children don’t go to university. The do apprenticeships. Once qualified as an apprentice it’s possible to have a good salary. There are no student loans. Once 18 the boys do military service where they learn useful skills and also get paid, they also learn how to manage thenselces, get up in the morning, keep fit etc.
My older DC is now at university in the Uk. He is utterly adamant he will be returning here after his degree.
He is studying in a nice town in South England - Waitrose and Porche Garage in the town. It took me months to persuade him that is a well off affluent town. Comments have included the comparison that he has to look at the floor when walking in the Uk due to rubbish and dog poo. Twice when he has been ill it has been impossible to get a GP appointment for a routine illness. He ended up in A&E
Buses to the local large town end at 7pm. Trains to London end at 12:00 and back to the town similar.
I could go on.
By all possible standards it’s better where he grew up. Thankfully I got him citizenship here so at least he will have options accross the EU
He does like the meal deals and Restaurants. That’s about it.

Edited

Where do you live?

relecat · 15/01/2025 20:09

We have a particularly dismissive attitude of young people in the UK. They aren’t treated with respect. Pubs reopen before schools in covid, young people expected to rack up huge student debt and pay ever higher taxes to fund triple-lock pensions for a generation with trillions of housing equity.
I never, ever thought I’d be encouraging my kids to consider the US, but here I am. If makes me so sad, both on a personal basis and for the UK as a whole. Sure, young people have always gone abroad, but there’s very little to pull them back now.

TeabySea · 15/01/2025 20:11

Within my family two younger members have moved abroad during the past 3 years. One to Australia, with spouse and children. For them the quality of life is better, there are more opportunities and better access to facilities they want/need. They don't both need to work to have a home, and one can do much of the childcare without issues.
The other has moved to Italy with their partner. Weather is better for their chronic health condition, they aren't having to work such long hours and, in a private rental, the amount they pay per year is both capped and is fixed for 8 years.

CagneyNYPD1 · 15/01/2025 20:13

MolkosTeenageAngst · 15/01/2025 19:27

I think a small class of students from private school won’t be very representative of young people across the UK. Your DD and her friends are likely all from families with above average income, who could afford holidays abroad so have some experience of travel, who have a good education so have good job opportunities beyond the UK and who have the security of families with the funds to help them if it all goes wrong when they’re abroad. It doesn’t surprise me privately educated kids from wealthy upper middle class families end up abroad but I’m not sure you would find the same high numbers from your average state school in the middle of a deprived estate for example.

This is spot on.

Rivett · 15/01/2025 20:14

TooMuchRedMaybe · 15/01/2025 19:20

I took my two teens and moved from the UK to a well functioning country in the EU (my home country) three years ago, we are all glad that decision was made.

Why did you leave your home country? It’s sounds better!