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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shocked so many young people seem to be moving abroad

226 replies

lonielou · 15/01/2025 18:52

First off, I know this anecdotal and perhaps someone here will have stats on this but I have one DD, been chatting to her tonight. She is 23, her school year are 23/24 now and we were chatting about what everyone from her small school are doing now. She was in a class of 14 at a prep school in south west London, we have discovered of her class

2x Live in Australia
1x USA
1x Hong Kong
1x Dubai
1x Kuwait
1x Germany
1x France

That leaves 5, DD is one of those and looking to move in the future but is still studying.

DD has no contact with 1 of these people so in theory could be living abroad.

Now I know this is anecdotal and she may just be in a particularly adventurous group but I also know several friends with kids living abroad, Australia and the Middle East seeming to be the big ones.

AIBU to be shocked by this? It feels like a lot of young people (all with the degrees or doing degrees) who could contribute so much to society just leaving!

OP posts:
Elizo · 15/01/2025 22:42

I don’t find it surprising. Opportunities and quality of life in this country have absolutely tanked. I think I would consider the same if I was them.

ClearFruit · 15/01/2025 22:46

Not shocked in the slightest. The UK is falling to bits at an alarming rate.

juggleit · 15/01/2025 22:49

Tubetrain · 15/01/2025 19:41

Chatting to the newly qualified drs that I know, none plan to be in the uk in 5y

Which is annoying as its so expensive to train them up about £100k and I don't believe any of it is paid back. AIBU?

catlovingdoctor · 15/01/2025 23:14

LlynTegid · 15/01/2025 19:44

Saddened that two of them have chosen places where women and those who are LGBT are treated like dirt, but in no way surprised at the number who have moved overseas.

Having said that, you're probably far more likely to be a victim of a violent crime/robbery etc in the UK in the present day than say, UAE/Kuwait, so it's arguable such places are actually safer for women and for minorities.

Doitrightnow · 15/01/2025 23:16

Most of the doctors I know have moved abroad. Three of them after one of the junior doctor strikes. I don't think the government has been listening to the concerns of those in the NHS for a long time.

Neverendingillness · 15/01/2025 23:21

Candlesandmatches · 15/01/2025 19:02

Maybe this helps give a bit of perspective. We moved from Uk - south, near London, to Europe when my DC we primary school age.
Here it is expensive however on the flip side, the weather is better, the health care is excellent, quick and efficient, public transport is on time, clean, not expensive and plentiful even at night. We can swim in the lakes in summer. Beautiful countryside.
Children learn the the National languages, English and 2 other languages at school. I am teaching 10/11 year olds who are basically fluent in English. Most children don’t go to university. The do apprenticeships. Once qualified as an apprentice it’s possible to have a good salary. There are no student loans. Once 18 the boys do military service where they learn useful skills and also get paid, they also learn how to manage thenselces, get up in the morning, keep fit etc.
My older DC is now at university in the Uk. He is utterly adamant he will be returning here after his degree.
He is studying in a nice town in South England - Waitrose and Porche Garage in the town. It took me months to persuade him that is a well off affluent town. Comments have included the comparison that he has to look at the floor when walking in the Uk due to rubbish and dog poo. Twice when he has been ill it has been impossible to get a GP appointment for a routine illness. He ended up in A&E
Buses to the local large town end at 7pm. Trains to London end at 12:00 and back to the town similar.
I could go on.
By all possible standards it’s better where he grew up. Thankfully I got him citizenship here so at least he will have options accross the EU
He does like the meal deals and Restaurants. That’s about it.

Edited

Sounds amazing! Where are you?

Newbie8918 · 15/01/2025 23:29

'Cozzy Livs Babes' as the kids would say 🤣

The cost of living is high, wages low in comparison. Rent, student loans, tax, impossible to get onto the property ladder etc etc.

Even in countries with comparable issues, they have a bit of sunshine at least!!!

I don't blame them at all!

MixedCouple2 · 15/01/2025 23:31

4 of my best friends went abroad from 2011 - 2023.
Also have some old school friends who moved abroad some to USA, Italy and Australia.

My Besties went to:
1- USA
1- Morocco
1- South Africa
1- Algeria

Me and DH wre also considering it we don't see our future here at all anymore. Maybe 10 years ago and orevious to that but with how things are. The cost of living. No Dentists, No Drs. Wait times etc. University costs 😱 It is a shame as we are both highly skilled and will be taking our skills elsewhere. We are looking potentially at Qatar/Kuwaiti/Oman/Saudi

MixedCouple2 · 15/01/2025 23:33

juggleit · 15/01/2025 22:49

Which is annoying as its so expensive to train them up about £100k and I don't believe any of it is paid back. AIBU?

Show quote history

This is true if you leave the country you don't pay.

Barkingupthewrongroof · 15/01/2025 23:38

I’m not surprised and I imagine far more would have left if it wasn’t that their options for living and studying in the EU hadn’t been so limited by Brexit.
Even university is financially out of reach for so many now.
In my kids uni age peer group , most are looking at international opportunities when they graduate. The Middle East and Australia in particular. In fact many are studying particular subjects with the sole intention of being able to work overseas.
Even the most basic standard of living for young people here is ridiculously expensive, more so if they want to live in cities with good employment opportunities.

relaxrelaxrelax · 15/01/2025 23:47

I'm in my 50s and most people I know have at some point worked abroad in their 20s and 30s. Where I now live in London there are also lots of people who have moved here from abroad and don't particularly want to go home. Yes, the UK is a bit rubbish at the moment but so are a lot of places. Young people travel, they want to see the world. They very often return at some point as well.

DBSFstupid · 15/01/2025 23:49

FrenchandSaunders · 15/01/2025 19:13

I think a poll from prep school in SW London isn’t really a true representation of that age group. They’ll be a lot of money to help those kids do that.

Indeed.

Crushed23 · 15/01/2025 23:57

I'm not quite as young as your DD but I have just left the UK for the US. Main reason being stagnant wages and declining standard of living in the UK.

My job here, which is exactly the same role as I had in the London office, pays double while cost of living is only around 50% higher.

XelaM · 16/01/2025 00:10

We're leaving too - either back to Germany or Dubai (depending on work). I absolutely hate it in the UK (having lived here 22 years) and things just seem to be getting worse. My daughter also wants to move and has always preferred life in Germany.

Rivett · 16/01/2025 00:18

catlovingdoctor · 15/01/2025 23:14

Having said that, you're probably far more likely to be a victim of a violent crime/robbery etc in the UK in the present day than say, UAE/Kuwait, so it's arguable such places are actually safer for women and for minorities.

Show quote history

Safer for women? Are they even allowed to walk down the street on their own in shorts and t-shirt?!….

Bigcat25 · 16/01/2025 00:34

Candlesandmatches · 15/01/2025 19:02

Maybe this helps give a bit of perspective. We moved from Uk - south, near London, to Europe when my DC we primary school age.
Here it is expensive however on the flip side, the weather is better, the health care is excellent, quick and efficient, public transport is on time, clean, not expensive and plentiful even at night. We can swim in the lakes in summer. Beautiful countryside.
Children learn the the National languages, English and 2 other languages at school. I am teaching 10/11 year olds who are basically fluent in English. Most children don’t go to university. The do apprenticeships. Once qualified as an apprentice it’s possible to have a good salary. There are no student loans. Once 18 the boys do military service where they learn useful skills and also get paid, they also learn how to manage thenselces, get up in the morning, keep fit etc.
My older DC is now at university in the Uk. He is utterly adamant he will be returning here after his degree.
He is studying in a nice town in South England - Waitrose and Porche Garage in the town. It took me months to persuade him that is a well off affluent town. Comments have included the comparison that he has to look at the floor when walking in the Uk due to rubbish and dog poo. Twice when he has been ill it has been impossible to get a GP appointment for a routine illness. He ended up in A&E
Buses to the local large town end at 7pm. Trains to London end at 12:00 and back to the town similar.
I could go on.
By all possible standards it’s better where he grew up. Thankfully I got him citizenship here so at least he will have options accross the EU
He does like the meal deals and Restaurants. That’s about it.

Edited

Candles, may I ask what country you moved to? I have an only child and that sounds like a great place to live. Thank you!

ilovesooty · 16/01/2025 00:42

MarSeaLane · 15/01/2025 19:47

If I were their age, I would too.

If it weren't for Brexit I would move permanently to Europe.

Absolutely.

Mirabai · 16/01/2025 01:00

I think it’s more a reflection of how international London is.

Elsewhere would be a different story.

Elferbowton · 16/01/2025 02:30

It's pretty much down to the low wages being offered in the UK, graduates are not valued if any of us are

flutterby1 · 16/01/2025 03:02

Tubetrain · 15/01/2025 19:41

Chatting to the newly qualified drs that I know, none plan to be in the uk in 5y

I don't blame them. It is also terrible that the uk pays to train them up for years at great expense and then they leave to the detriment of our society and economy...but I understand. Uk has societal decay and an influx of unassimilated, incompatible cultures.

FishOnTheTrain · 16/01/2025 03:05

Brexit happened just as I was starting my career. My life went from having options to having none (it felt). The U.K. is not the same as it was for young people.

I moved abroad to a country that has much better salaries and more job prospects. But I’d still rather be in the U.K. pre Brexit, with what felt like more freedom for young people.

allfurcoatnoknickers · 16/01/2025 03:06

@Bigcat25 I reckon it's Austria or Switzerland. Although Switzerland isn't in the EU, apprenticeships are very popular and highly regarded.

Todaysthedaytocelebrate · 16/01/2025 03:19

I moved to Hong Kong after Uni but eventually came back.
Some of our sons friends have moved abroad after Uni too.
They are young and want to explore so I think it’s fairly natural to do this, if you’re that type of person.

Id also say wages here are terrible for the young often irrespective of qualifications. Doctors salaries for example are a real shock compared to others that have just been given a nice Labour pay hike.

Id go again tbh.

A disaster for the country though

onceuponatimelived · 16/01/2025 03:19

Not much of a society to contribute to in the UK.

Don't you think?

You mention they all have degrees. Coming out of education is like being reborn in a sense because you see the world in a whole new light and its quite scary to know things on a much deeper level about society that we live in than the average person perhaps who hasn't been university educated or self-taught. There's no living in the lies fed by the politicians, media and policy makers, its living in the sometimes ugly truth of fact, a variety of literature and statistics of the current state of the “democracy” we live in.

I think if they have the means to make it happen, moving abroad sounds like bliss and harmony!

Western countries are steadily declining in every single facet. I mean just take a look at the cost of living crisis and the overflowing lines of families in need for food banks and child poverty in the UK, for one example…

PeloMom · 16/01/2025 03:30

allfurcoatnoknickers · 15/01/2025 19:23

I moved abroad 10 years ago and DH and I always intended to move back. However the salaries are so low and the COL so high in the UK, we just can't make it work financially with two kids.

Yeah we also looked into moving back to the UK but our standard of living will drop massively. I’m not even going to go into the state of NHS etc. might look into moving back in a few years again if things start improving.