Altercation over a changing cubicle

[AngeloMysterioso]

At swimming lesson with 5yo DS. He comes out of the pool, has a quick rinse under the shower, then I meet him, wrap his towel round him and we head to the nearest unlocked cubicle to get him changed. He goes in and starts undressing, I turn and shut the door, hang bags on pegs, start digging out DS’s dry clothes, carrier bag for wet stuff etc.

Then I turn round and realise someone’s left their fleece onesie thing and a few other bits on the bench. DS is already undressed at this point and the next lot of lessons has started so for all I know that stuff will be sitting there for the next half an hour. So I carry on getting DS changed which takes 5 minutes at the absolute most.

We come out of the cubicle, face to face with a very angry woman and her maybe 8 or 9 year old daughter, who starts ranting at me about how she’d left her kid’s stuff in there and she’s been getting cold, etc. I explained that I didn’t see it until my son was already undressed, and you don’t get to just dump your stuff in a cubicle and that means it’s reserved for you.

There’s a few minutes back and forth with her effing and blinding at me, in spite of me asking several times not to swear in front of my (and her) child. I ended up saying I wouldn’t apologise because I didn’t do anything wrong and turning my back to her and drying DS’s hair, while she continues calling me a bitch and saying I’m everything that’s wrong with people.

So… was I BU, or was she?

It's weird to use a cubicle without checking if it is free (ie. with no stuff in it).

The woman obviously shouldn't have shouted and sworn at you though, especially with children there.

Yanbu, our leisure centre has signs up everywhere telling ppl not to leave belongings in the cubicles. There are only 6 cubicles each for male and female and probably 40 students having lessons at any one time. If you dont get a cubicles you have to use the open changing room.

It's unreasonable to expect to be able to save a cubicle. I'd have done the same as you OP and just continued getting changed as quickly as possible.

It's really simple, parent holds kids belongings until kid is in their possession then you go hunt out a place to change. First come, first served.

Our gym changing room is mixed. My girls wouldn't feel comfortable.

I'm not saying the other parents behaviour was ok but if it's anything like my local pool the entire building is like a sauna and I'm aggy when I'm in there, I feel myself getting frustrated a lot quicker because I can't stand the heat. Perhaps she over reacted as a result of that. Although still not ok to swear at you

I suppose it varies with some pools having more cubicles than others or maybe one pool being very busy with lessons and another pool not so popular. If there are lots of spare cubicles I don't suppose anyone worries about it.

I don't need to take a disabled changing room up. My child is capable of changing on their own, I just need to help them get from the pool to the changing room as quickly as possible with their clothes laid out. Not sure why it's a drip, you asked a question and I answered why I couldn't do that?

These sorts of places are designed on capacity. The size of the pool determines the capacity it has. This is generally factored in when planning changing facilities.

X showers + Y cubicles = capacity of changing facilities.

People taking space in X and Y buggers the whole thing because entitled people are not a design consideration.

At least people just move stuff, at one pool I used anyone trying to reserve a cubicle would find their clothes chucked out of it onto the floor.

A ghastly fleece onesie- probably grubby pink as well - to go with the shouty sweary mother.

Yuck.

Onesies once someone is past a few weeks old are seriously squalid.

So they can change on their own, but can't wait for 30 seconds wrapped in their towel whilst you grab their clothes from a locker? You could order them for layout in the bag. It's what I always did.

Rightio.

This takes me back almost 20 years to the horror that was swimming lessons. People who reserve cubicles by leaving their stuff in there are so unreasonable that they are out of sight of the far side of reasonableness.

So you walked in backwards then?

its a pain here too. There are limited family changing rooms and idiots leaving stuff in her whilst they aren’t in use really boils my piss.

I also have a sen child who needs more help changing and struggles with waiting but I wouldn’t leave my stuff in a family cubicle because it’s selfish.

So first, you didn’t notice the stuff and then, you decided it was too difficult to move your DS and that the person could be gone for ages so it didn’t really matter? You were rude. You could have popped the things into the next cubicle if you didn’t want to move your DS. You locked her stuff up with you because you were feeling lazy.

Good for you not apologising. She is a rude entitled nutter.

It's bizarre she didn't knock the door and politely say 'is my stuff in there, could you pass it through quickly please?'

Either way she got it back. It's not like you pinched her bloody Rolex.

Some people are rude and weird. I guess you could complain to the front desk but it's probably best to just hope she's not there next time.

The stupid thing is, if you had seen the stuff and just placed it in an open area outside of the cubicle it would've been more likely to be stolen. And she probably would blow her top saying 'why did you touch/move my stuff?'

Did she expect you to take it to front desk, before you and kids started getting changed? While frantically begging them to put out a call on the tannoy and print 'missing' posters? 🤣

And here in lies the problem - you yourself are hogging a changing room but you don’t see it as an issue as you don’t want to carry ALL your things (a swimming bag and a towel??).

this happens at our swimming baths and it’s so frustrating- people dump their stuff in a cubicle whilst their precious child takes their time showing and washing hair etc. so mugs like me (and you OP) have to get their child dressed in any space they can find as we are too polite to just take their stuff out of the cubicle. She was a complete dick who knew she was in the wrong. Our leisure centre has so many signs up about hogging cubicles but it doesn’t make a blind bit of difference to the selfish twats who do it. Once we went into one with stuff in and were changed and done just as the person who had hogged it came back - so ridiculous

You didn't do anything wrong, OP. She did when she tried to 'reserve' a cubicle preventing people from using it then putting their stuff in lockers as you're meant to. And then compounded it by behaving like a terrible, foul-mouthed person in front of children. What a poor example of parenting she was. I feel for her child ... except she'll likely turn out just like her if that's the example in life she's getting.

Empty cubicle I wouldn’t expect to see any ones stuff in their so wouldn’t have even thought to look.

Get child out of pool, quick shower (unlikely) , empty cubicle child in, grab stuff out of locker, if not find space on bench child changes under huge towel.

Why use a cubicle to store clothes while the child showering? Makes no sense. Other than annoying as no one knows whether it’s a child in the pool or one in the shower!

Things I don’t miss now my girls are a lot older!

Shoulda gone to Specsavers.

Why would they be naked or vulnerable?

I have no idea how you didn't spot the stuff (but then the cubicles at my pool are tiny!) but of course she was BU for shouting and swearing - absolutely no need.

So one kid who is right that second ready to get changed soon freeze their arse off waiting because yours is in the shower but have 'reserved the cubicle'? Jog on you selfish cow.

Cubicles cannot be reserved. They are for immediate use.

Hmmm, not sure about that one. My kid wears a onesie to swimming and I'm an absolute delight.

No it's rude to leave the stuff in the cubicle.
OP wasn't being lazy in not touching or moving the stuff, why the fuck should she have? She'd probably get hassle for touching it.

One could argue that the person who dumps their stuff in a cubicle and leaves it there is lazy. One could also argue that the person who swears at strangers in front of their children is rude...