Child didn’t get a party bag

[JandamiHash]

Hosted my son’s 8th birthday on Sunday. I sent out invitations in December and made it clear when people had to get back to me (7th Jan). We hired a magician and included personalised party bags that the magician makes himself - they have each child’s name on the stuff inside and it also included a magic wand and some of the tricks he did on the day so the kids could try themselves at home. They were a quite expensive addition but I didn’t mind as I thought it was a nice touch. I also ordered Domino’s Pizza and just enough for the partygoers as again it can be very expensive.

One child whose parents didn’t RSVP turned up. The mum is a bit of an Amanda (as in from Motherland) and has form for being a bit of a PITA. I did say “Oh you didn’t RSVP, it’s absolutely fine to stay but sorry I don’t have a party bag for James, just to warn you.” She looked annoyed and just said “I did RSVP didn’t I?” And checked her phone before saying “Oh dear I forgot. What a shame he won’t have a party bag.”

She then told me James is now vegan like her (was previously vegetarian). I said “Oh sorry there are no vegan pizzas ordered”. Again she looked annoyed and said how it would be awful not to feed him, so I said it was fine I’d call dominoes now to add one onto the order. She shared it with him and took the leftovers home. I was pissed off, if that was me I’d have at least ordered one myself for my child, but this woman is deeply entitled and a massive CF. I would never leave a child without food though and feel like I did the right thing.

Anyway I’ve had a text today to say how upset James is that he didn’t get a party bag, apparently the other kids are all bragging about their magic tricks that they’ve learnt with the party bag stuff and he’s feeling left out (she is forever messaging the mum’s group moaning he’s left out and nobody is his friend and expects us all to prioritise this with our own kids) and that I should have had spares.

I haven’t replied but WIBU to tell her that she should have RSVPd and the only person answerable to her son is her and her DH for sloppy organisation, and that plenty of children in the class didn’t attend the party. Also that I made reasonable adjustments for the food at my own expense. DH thinks I should send my bank details and ask for the extra £10 the vegan pizza cost!

Yes because she plays out the scenario and craves attention to validate her. Deny her the attention she craves, that’s a kicker. And ultimately less arse acne with accompanying she said, I said

"Another normal part of planning is to RSVP. If you had done this, James would have had a party bag. Please don't make your lack of organisation my failing. This topic is now closed. Thank you."

Or just ignore her. Actually, probably best ignore her...she tried to call you. This is not a phone call matter, she's a bam.

I would say

Hi Amanda

The magic man isnt really magic . Shhh! Dont tell the kids.

Sorry! Yes, we had to give him the kids names in advance for the bags...such a shame he couldn't pull one out of his arse for kids who we weren't expecting ...oh well, i guess ill write that in the Google review

Best wishes

Think op said he got a £2 colouring in book.

She bought a £2 colouring book. Which is obviously fine but she appears to be wealthy.

Top marks for bam
only really pointy to ponder is she a bam? Or a bampot?

Hi Amanda, it's a shame you forgot to RSVP but we welcomed you anyway and even ordered food specifically for you so I hope you all enjoyed the party.

Hilarious.

"Well, I've never encountered such a rude, entitled mother who insists we spend £££ on their child on the chance they might show up without warning while spending all of £ on a gift for the birthday food. And then take home the party leftovers for themselves. Kindly fuck off."

Hi Amanda,

It sounds like you’re regularly relying upon other parents anticipating their guests’ poor planning rather than just sending a RSVP. I’m sure there’ll be other times in the future where your child is disappointed because you chose not to get organised and RSVP, so perhaps you can think about that a bit.

Meanwhile, I noticed you rather boldly took the vegan pizza leftovers home with you. As this was specifically purchased to accommodate you and James at absolutely no notice, perhaps you should consider it to be equivalent to a custom party bag and we’ll call it quits.

Take care.

Yup.
After the "passive aggressive thumbs up emoji" use your words to write:
"Swivel on this ⬆️"

"opinions may vary. Please do not contact me again. Thankyou"

I'd never send it, but ' your lack of planning does not constitute my emergency' applies here.

Your son doesn't like James anyway, so no more invitations need to be made. Just blank her.

Likey.

Just don't reply to her no OP. She's a cheeky twat.

This made me absolutely howl! 😂

Or. “Thats a strange way of saying thank you for ordering a new custom meal and allowing James a spot when you hadn’t accepted the invite and just arrived without a word that he would be in attendance… Please stop messaging me”

Much better than the tired thumbs up.

Seems to be part of school milieu there always is a Fanny who is bang out of order

Why dont get a paper bag, write James on jt and put the £2 colouring book AND some pens, and sweets and hand to her at pick up?

Go on!

😂😂😂.
err no they always get played with don’t worry 😘.
It’s just good practice for parties you throw for little kids - to make sure that no little ones get left out. There’s often something. Much better to have a couple extra than too few.

I would be so tempted to reply ‘What's important for planning is RSVPs, so that hosts can plan accordingly. Otherwise you risk kids being disappointed.’

But she is looking for a reaction that she can gossip about.

Have you apologised to James for being such a twat?

I wouldn't be inviting James again. Your son doesn't like him and his Mum is horrendously entitled and rude.

The bringing a shitty, incomplete, cheap gift then expecting all kinds of extras is beyond rude too. They sound absolutely horrendous I think your son was spot on in his desire to avoid James. This comes under 'reap what you sow'. Only invite children your son actually likes from now on.

I hope your son had a great day and that all his health issues are resolved.

Also, WTAF is wrong with people snootily demanding a child who's been sick have a birthday outside in January and then trying to (unsuccessfully) occupy the moral high ground? Whilst others demand that OP wastefully order lots of random vegan pizzas (presumably gluten free too to cover all bases) and have a minimum of 3 x £12 party bags on standby to accommodate others parents not behaving like responsible adults. I am astounded by the human race. 😂

Hope it's given you a laugh OP at least to counteract Amanda's aggression.

I’d reply “yes you have, you have just had this exact experience, before this I’d not had people turn up who didn’t rsvp, I feel you are the one who should be more organised”

“I’m not buying him a party bag. Now fuck off and stop wasting my time.”

That should draw a line under it. 😬🫣