Child didn’t get a party bag

[JandamiHash]

Hosted my son’s 8th birthday on Sunday. I sent out invitations in December and made it clear when people had to get back to me (7th Jan). We hired a magician and included personalised party bags that the magician makes himself - they have each child’s name on the stuff inside and it also included a magic wand and some of the tricks he did on the day so the kids could try themselves at home. They were a quite expensive addition but I didn’t mind as I thought it was a nice touch. I also ordered Domino’s Pizza and just enough for the partygoers as again it can be very expensive.

One child whose parents didn’t RSVP turned up. The mum is a bit of an Amanda (as in from Motherland) and has form for being a bit of a PITA. I did say “Oh you didn’t RSVP, it’s absolutely fine to stay but sorry I don’t have a party bag for James, just to warn you.” She looked annoyed and just said “I did RSVP didn’t I?” And checked her phone before saying “Oh dear I forgot. What a shame he won’t have a party bag.”

She then told me James is now vegan like her (was previously vegetarian). I said “Oh sorry there are no vegan pizzas ordered”. Again she looked annoyed and said how it would be awful not to feed him, so I said it was fine I’d call dominoes now to add one onto the order. She shared it with him and took the leftovers home. I was pissed off, if that was me I’d have at least ordered one myself for my child, but this woman is deeply entitled and a massive CF. I would never leave a child without food though and feel like I did the right thing.

Anyway I’ve had a text today to say how upset James is that he didn’t get a party bag, apparently the other kids are all bragging about their magic tricks that they’ve learnt with the party bag stuff and he’s feeling left out (she is forever messaging the mum’s group moaning he’s left out and nobody is his friend and expects us all to prioritise this with our own kids) and that I should have had spares.

I haven’t replied but WIBU to tell her that she should have RSVPd and the only person answerable to her son is her and her DH for sloppy organisation, and that plenty of children in the class didn’t attend the party. Also that I made reasonable adjustments for the food at my own expense. DH thinks I should send my bank details and ask for the extra £10 the vegan pizza cost!

Because children play for hours outside when it's-10 🤷‍♀️ They used to put babies sleeping in their strollers outside infront of the house in the winter as well. Vikings you know 😄

The life of the white privileged middle class women

I haven't read all the replies, but is someone really suggesting you should have played in a cold park instead of a birthday party? 😂

Also, I've been skiing in -10 snow conditions and come back to UK 0 degree conditions and the UK cold is a lot more painful, for some reason.

Is it the damp?

Do other races not have birthday parties then?? 😬😬😬

We have snow suits in the UK..

It is. I used to live in Siberia where it got to -30 but it was a very dry climate and the damp here definitely/wind here makes it feel a lot colder!

Shamelessly place marking in case she replies. I mean how do you reply to that?! 😂 great message

I missed where OP said she was white and middle class...oh wait she didn't. Internalised racism ?

It is. It’s dreadful. The damp and people not having proper heating systems. Depressing. -25 or -30 can feel absolutely fine if you have proper clothing, houses, windows and heating for it.

Outside to “run around a park” in a country not built for freezing conditions for a child’s birthday party? They wouldn’t even be able to play on equipment. Parents standing around freezing and doing the cake on an icy picnic bench, all whilst posturing about “I know this is shit but we give to charideeee”. No thanks

If she replies and mentions Scandinavia then she's 100% seen this thread

Alright, Gregg?

Yes, I am aware. Ski pants/attire are different to snowsuits. My dc always wear snowsuits this time of year but in such temperatures, proper ski attire is needed 😊

Yes, perfect message.

I reckon given her insanely bourgeoisie party bag lifestyle she spends at least 16 weeks a year at IKOS resorts and therefore is permanently sun kissed giving her a skin tone of “indeterminate origins”….so even if she is secretly a hateful “white woman” no one will ever really know 😎

🙄 yes I am aware..

No it's not that's a nasty message the one op sent was much better.

Our children at nursery sleep outside, -20 or +20. They are pretty healthy children too.

Light and breezy, she’s combative looking for a fight. Unfortunately James didn’t get a bag as you failed to RSVP
That is all, no machinations about pizza , no pursuing the extra pizza cost
You remain the calm,reasonable host who organised a super party. She’s the Fanny who didn’t reply and now get son has no party bag. Tough. His mum fault

Thank you OP for standing up to the CF non RSVP-er. I took shit from many of those over the years.

But more importantly Thank You for making me aware of Amandaland!!! I had no idea there is a spin off coming. I've always said if I am ever Prime Minister I am going to make Sharon Horgan write a new series of Motherland every year.

Anyway - I’ve had a reply!
I’m not biting. As much as I want to

Well, I have never been to a child’s party where the hosts haven’t had a contingency plan for extra children arriving. This is a normal part of planning. If this had been done then James would not have been excluded from getting a party bag.

😂 Are you sure, @LegoBingo..

Wow wow wow…

This is excellent!

I'd like to think this is the sort of reply I'd send eventually (once
I'd mentally composed one or two with rather more short, Anglo-Saxon words!)