Child didn’t get a party bag

[JandamiHash]

Hosted my son’s 8th birthday on Sunday. I sent out invitations in December and made it clear when people had to get back to me (7th Jan). We hired a magician and included personalised party bags that the magician makes himself - they have each child’s name on the stuff inside and it also included a magic wand and some of the tricks he did on the day so the kids could try themselves at home. They were a quite expensive addition but I didn’t mind as I thought it was a nice touch. I also ordered Domino’s Pizza and just enough for the partygoers as again it can be very expensive.

One child whose parents didn’t RSVP turned up. The mum is a bit of an Amanda (as in from Motherland) and has form for being a bit of a PITA. I did say “Oh you didn’t RSVP, it’s absolutely fine to stay but sorry I don’t have a party bag for James, just to warn you.” She looked annoyed and just said “I did RSVP didn’t I?” And checked her phone before saying “Oh dear I forgot. What a shame he won’t have a party bag.”

She then told me James is now vegan like her (was previously vegetarian). I said “Oh sorry there are no vegan pizzas ordered”. Again she looked annoyed and said how it would be awful not to feed him, so I said it was fine I’d call dominoes now to add one onto the order. She shared it with him and took the leftovers home. I was pissed off, if that was me I’d have at least ordered one myself for my child, but this woman is deeply entitled and a massive CF. I would never leave a child without food though and feel like I did the right thing.

Anyway I’ve had a text today to say how upset James is that he didn’t get a party bag, apparently the other kids are all bragging about their magic tricks that they’ve learnt with the party bag stuff and he’s feeling left out (she is forever messaging the mum’s group moaning he’s left out and nobody is his friend and expects us all to prioritise this with our own kids) and that I should have had spares.

I haven’t replied but WIBU to tell her that she should have RSVPd and the only person answerable to her son is her and her DH for sloppy organisation, and that plenty of children in the class didn’t attend the party. Also that I made reasonable adjustments for the food at my own expense. DH thinks I should send my bank details and ask for the extra £10 the vegan pizza cost!

The cheeky CF is wanting OP to answer the phone so she can let off her steam and probably hoping OP will say something mean out of frustration so she has an excuse to play the victim. Why should OP pacify someone behaving like a toddler? Best way to deal with such people is to not engage.
If OP answers, CF could easily lie that she said something bad on the phone and spread it around. Keeping everything in writing is the best way forward.

I don’t mind speaking to people at all. I do it all day. Which is perhaps why I don’t wanna do it in my spare time. But when text messages are a perfectly acceptable alternative a phone call is rarely needed. With texts I can reply on my own terms and take time to form what I say

The casting of Joanna Lumley as her mum was genius 👏

Does your children’s nursery not have walls?

Id reply and say something along the lines of 'Hi Amanda, remember I said when you arrived that you had not RSVP and therefore I had not ordered a party bag or vegan food. I managed to phone and pay for a vegan pizza to accommodate you however I cannot order more party bags'. If this is the group chat I'd add a line that says 'I hope everyone enjoyed the party'. That way people will reply to say they did and take the conversation down a different path. She's a CF.

To me it feels like Amanda has entered the building.

What does it matter if you seek advice in anonymous thread ?

Even if Amanda did see it, she should feel bad for putting someone in this predicament ontop of the stress of a kids party & motherhood.

Amanda should feel lucky she hasn’t been named and shamed in school gate gossip as many people would.

The OP doesn’t owe Amanda a conversation or her time or her emotional energy or a confrontation.

Amanda has a magic trick bag to chase up and should put this all behind her.

Start a baked potato in the microwave and finish off in the air fryer. I got that tip from here

Absolutely! A real national treasure

I also think Lucy Punch is criminally unrelated as an actress. She’s incredible in everything and very versatile.

Except that you posted on a forum for millions of people to read, likely including the cf person concerned.

OP you are my person! 😂

Maybe it’s extra for nursery with walls?

Best response!

If she isn’t your mate I honestly would just be blunt and say “you didn’t RSVP?” and leave it at that. It’s not rude it’s putting the onus back on her.

What actually do you think is to be discussed?

teleporting back in time, so James got a party bag?

it’s over, the party has been and gone, no party bags required now.

Are you the mother? Get over yourself. She can do diamond encrusted engraved Tiffany bracelets is she wants

Unless Amanda lives in Scandinavia she hasn’t entered the building.

(But if she had she would have had to take her shoes off.)

Nursery here is free for everyone. So no extras. 👍🏼

Why are you being so argumentative? And so incredibly superior?

You're just coming across as unpleasant. Leave the OP alone, you've made your point loud and clear.

Whatever you say Scandi Mandy ;)

I will say OP I did wonder if she was phoning because she saw this thread.

I think you’ll get a text though.

@Thepurplepig @BellaCiaoBellaCiao keep up dears.
I responded ages back that my first reply was bossy and I have accepted that I shouldn't have said it 😂

THIS IS THE REPLY! I love it. I see parents begging for RSVPs for primary school parties on social media all the time and really feel for all the parents having to deal with impolite other parents who can’t be bothered to clearly reply one way or the other!

Thank you

Haven't you got a party bag to source?

She should be embarrassed, not pissed off. I'd be mortified but then I'd never had her front either

Excellent, this will be my new user name. Thanks!

In fairness in a predominantly UK forum, no one is interested in Scandinavians traditions and thoughts on party types.

Scandi Mandy……. Genius 🤣🤣🤣