Child didn’t get a party bag

[JandamiHash]

Hosted my son’s 8th birthday on Sunday. I sent out invitations in December and made it clear when people had to get back to me (7th Jan). We hired a magician and included personalised party bags that the magician makes himself - they have each child’s name on the stuff inside and it also included a magic wand and some of the tricks he did on the day so the kids could try themselves at home. They were a quite expensive addition but I didn’t mind as I thought it was a nice touch. I also ordered Domino’s Pizza and just enough for the partygoers as again it can be very expensive.

One child whose parents didn’t RSVP turned up. The mum is a bit of an Amanda (as in from Motherland) and has form for being a bit of a PITA. I did say “Oh you didn’t RSVP, it’s absolutely fine to stay but sorry I don’t have a party bag for James, just to warn you.” She looked annoyed and just said “I did RSVP didn’t I?” And checked her phone before saying “Oh dear I forgot. What a shame he won’t have a party bag.”

She then told me James is now vegan like her (was previously vegetarian). I said “Oh sorry there are no vegan pizzas ordered”. Again she looked annoyed and said how it would be awful not to feed him, so I said it was fine I’d call dominoes now to add one onto the order. She shared it with him and took the leftovers home. I was pissed off, if that was me I’d have at least ordered one myself for my child, but this woman is deeply entitled and a massive CF. I would never leave a child without food though and feel like I did the right thing.

Anyway I’ve had a text today to say how upset James is that he didn’t get a party bag, apparently the other kids are all bragging about their magic tricks that they’ve learnt with the party bag stuff and he’s feeling left out (she is forever messaging the mum’s group moaning he’s left out and nobody is his friend and expects us all to prioritise this with our own kids) and that I should have had spares.

I haven’t replied but WIBU to tell her that she should have RSVPd and the only person answerable to her son is her and her DH for sloppy organisation, and that plenty of children in the class didn’t attend the party. Also that I made reasonable adjustments for the food at my own expense. DH thinks I should send my bank details and ask for the extra £10 the vegan pizza cost!

This is the mums fault not yours. And the pizza thing was really rude of her.

However when I’ve hosted parties I have always taken a couple of spare party bags with me in case siblings or anyone that didn’t RSVP randomly turns up.

I expect she's pissed off to be centre of a discussion on mumsnet.

I wouldn’t mention the pizza, however if your child is vegan surely that’s a good reason to make sure you rsvp to make sure they are catered for.

You have to explain that’s why you gave the rsvp deadline as the bags were personalised for those attending. She is cheeky to bring it up several days later or at all.

@JandamiHash great response to her. I wouldn't want to talk to her, either. She probably is trying to get you to pay for the party bag....

THIS!

OP doesn't owe Amanda a phone conversation. If Amanda wants to reply, she can do so via text or in person the next time they see one another.

I don't subscribe to the belief that you must answer the phone or the door if you don't want to.

Do it, treat yourself 😂

Geniusly mean!

pathetic, give the money to charity. Let the kids run around a park.

Oh chill out!

Taking the pizza home is piggy.

In January when it was -3?

😲 how do you know she didn’t need a minute and didn’t call back ?

Are you Amanda ?

Will you call back or respond OP ?

Do we, the people of Mumsnet feel the call should be ignored or a discussion should be had ?

I vote for saying that she’s in the middle of something and keeping the conversation to text.

If they talk then Amanda can put her spin on it and gossip.

Off topic, but I’ve just got an air fryer, are JPs just as good as oven ones? I need crispy skin and really soft inside potato. Any top tips?

Say what? 😂😂

Nothing more to be said. Definitely no phone calls. CFs will CF

Not even in the UK, but many of you seem to have a problem to speak to people or even open the door for a delivery. Worrying and weird to the rest of us.

I won’t call back. I’ve had no reply so in my eyes a line has been drawn under the matter. And TBH I don’t any more to say about it to her!

I can't believe how many people don't RSVP to an invitation. Height of bad manners.

And to just turn up without a phone call or anything.

My best takes from this thread are the genius idea of not supplying the full details on the invitation and also, not just rolling over when someone has the poor form to not only be a total cheapskate to the birthday child, given their means, but also make a late special dietary requirement without notice and submit a complaint about the lack of a special party favour.

Talk about piling on insults to injury.

I have a bake function on mine and they come out perfectly! They still take forever though.

DH has suggested chicken tikka massala in the potato. I think we have a winner.

Are you serious!? 😂 It’s -10 here and our children at nursery have been out for 5 hrs today.

Why shouldn’t she? It’s HER money and HER child.