Therapist won’t let me cancel!

[Moocow1995]

Hi all

Bit of a strange one really. I have been going to talking therapy / CBT with a therapist for the last couple of years. It’s expensive- £75 per session.

I have had some very good sessions with her but some others where I have come away feeling that the advice wasn’t totally sound but that’s neither here nor there really. I started therapy due to a particularly difficult break up and having escaped an abusive boyfriend in 2019 and I do feel that I am in the most part ‘recovered’ from the damage caused by that situation and so the therapy is more of a nice to have than a complete essential now.

A couple of months ago, I explained to her that due to changes in my financial situation I would like to cut down to fortnightly sessions. This was met with a lot of disagreement and often half of my 50 minute session would be taken up with her telling me I would really benefit from weekly sessions. This was frustrating as I was paying more than I could afford for appointments in which I was making no progress and coming away feeling stressed. Nonetheless she eventually relented and I dropped down to fortnightly sessions.

She now spends almost my entire session moaning about me having dropped down to fortnightly. I am finding very little value in this now and am also expecting my first baby so have said I will be cancelling completely at the end of May.

She has taken this really badly and I feel like I am spending the whole session defending this decision and my financial situation to her. She has even suggested that I ask my partner or parents to continue paying.

It is probably worth mentioning that I am under no contractual agreement in this situation.

So, would I be unreasonable to just send an email to say ‘I will be ceasing all therapy sessions as of X date’ and refuse to engage any further? Previously she inundated me with calls and messages when I tried this approach when dropping down to fortnightly sessions.

If I ABU to take this approach, how would you get out of it?

It is causing me quite a lot of stress and financial pressure at a time I could do without it.

Thank you for taking the time to read if you got this far.

Tell her to get stuffed and report her to her professional body.

You are not obliged to provide her with work.

She's being very unprofessional and focused on her income rather than your needs and well being. I would write up what you've written here and send a formal letter of complaint to her oversight accrediting board.

This is what I would do.

The “advice” is also a red flag. This is not usual in professional therapy. Block, delete and see where you at in a few months. Your needs shift and change in response to therapy so always review how it’s going with individual therapists.

Your therapist needs a therapist for herself, it appears. Walk away after a polite and clear email, thanking her for her valuable services.

Just email her saying that you won't be coming back.

End of!!!!

Not only would I cancel, but I'd report her to whichever professional body she is associated with.
This absolutely bulldozes any concept of a therapy agreement/contract, and is increadibly unethical.
And that's without touching on fact CBT is supposed to operate within time specified goals and objectives.

I'd have stopped going AND reported her by now

Oh my god @Moocow1995 I would be emailing her and cancelling any further sessions with immediate effect!
her behaviour is harassment and isn’t helping you at all… it sounds like you’re paying to be be abused !
I would suggest registering on a free freedom program or buying the book online, I’m currently supporting a friend through this program and it’s helped her after two sessions!!
also you can do CBT online or buy books and do this yourself at home!
I would have stopped all sessions after she hounded you with calls and spent half a session discussing it… the fact you feel unable to shut her down suggests you’re still in need of therapy but definitely not with her! Ask your GP or midwife if they can refer you to a freedom program or for free CBT!!

Dear Therapist
I am emailing you to inform you that I will be cancelling our sessions with immediate effect, including the one booked on (insert date).
yours sincerely
@Moocow1995

As she should have told you, you do not need to thank someone for a paid service, you do not need to give an explanation, you owe them literally nothing except enough notice to offer the appointment to someone else… I would say minimum of 48 hours notice is adequate but a week would be polite… Then if she texts you/calls you I would ignore…. If it verges on harassment and or pressure/ abuse to attend I would be tempted to report your concerns to whoever her boss/regulator is

Not uncommon, sadly. Many people choose careers in therapy and counselling because they have their own issues.

What am absolute vulture! Cancel all appointments and never go back. Block on all platforms.