DS has been offered jobs in Qatar and UAE

[Sooptimisim]

DS is 26, he works in finance and has a good job in London. He has recently informed us that he has been offered jobs in both Doha and Dubai and is heavily considering taking them.
I know it’s not up to me but I really can’t settle at the thought of him moving to either of these countries. I associate them with poor women’s rights, little political freedom/freedom of speech etc.
I am trying to be supportive but I’m actually finding it very hard to be.
It isn’t about him moving away as my DD is in Australia doing a masters degree, it’s just the terrible women’s (and human) rights etc.

AIBU to ask him to consider all of this before making a decision?

Yes I was married when I went to Qatar but I’ve always kept my maiden name so passport was in maiden name. I was a bit paranoid when I first went in 2012 and think I went through the admin of having my wedding certificate legally certified somewhere and a note was put on it in Arabic. However I was never once asked for it even though I stayed in many hotels with my husband and our passports are in different names. Has been the same all over the Middle East. The hotels are run by international chains. They do not check people’s marital status.

They just hear “Middle East” and let their ignorance take over.

Of course there is not “zero risk” but they don’t do random raids of people’s bedrooms and generally there is a “don’t ask don’t tell policy” for expat enclaves and this was back when I worked there in 2010. It’s likely liberalised since then.

Obviously if you have sex in a public place and get caught that’s a different story.

Unmarried couples should absolutely check the rules as cohabiting may get you into trouble (although I have had no need to look this up so no idea what the rules are now) but even if there are prohibitions on this then it would not need to be a deterrent. Just don’t cohabit.

My DS lives in Dubai. He went when he was 28 and has been there for several years now. He has no plans to return to the UK. My husband and I visit him regularly and we have found Dubai to be a good and safe place. I would not hesitate to encourage young people to go there. As someone suggested your son should go there for a holiday and check the place before committing himself. May help put your mind at rest.

I've worked in both though wasn't impressed with Qatar at the time (pre World Cup), it has changed a lot since though.
In terms of a good social life then Dubai has a lot more to offer.
The biggest advantages though....at least for me...lots of interesting places to fly to, decent holidays, good standard of living and the weather.
Unfortunately the treatment of labourers in the whole region is horrendous and often it's their own countrymen in hiring and supervisiory positions who promise the workers the world and fail to deliver.

I’ve lived in Dubai for 11 years and I’m very happy here. Traffic is becoming a bit of a nightmare but it’s still a very safe place.
I can’t comment on Qatar as I’ve never been.
Ignore the negativity - as long as his salary is high enough he will have a great life and take away some very valuable experience!
If he meets a woman it is no longer illegal for them to live together. Even a baby out of wedlock is acceptable now.
don’t believe everything you read in the trashy papers!

Having moral principles about avoiding despotic regimes that reduce women to chattels, confiscate passports, have an appalling history of human rights abuses and can toss you in jail on a whim is fairly sane I'd say.

I don't see the issue. The UAE and Qatar are not taliban run. Women are very educated in these countries and make up a huge proportion of the workforce. I don't understand peoples weird prospective on this, but I've visited both and saudi arabia and it is nothing like they would make you believe on the fox news.

My son was out there for two years. I felt he was safe out there. He had some hairy moments in Iran which worried the family.

It doesn't last forever and looks good on the CV

YANBU to say something to him, however you still then need to support his decision. Unfortunately I doubt he will see it like you as the negatives you mention won’t affect him.

He’ll be in an expat community far away from any human rights issues. Will make a fortune tax free - great opportunity. Friend of mine did a similar thing earned enough to buy a flat hardly any mortgage.

What exactly have these people experienced in these countries 🤔
I haven't been to Dubai but I visited a relative in Abu Dhabi
Normal enough to me
What free speech are we talking about?
women's rights n all that is it?
Women are happy enough there,are we assuming and enforcing our culture on them?
I mea people in general including women are kinda miserable in the UK at large!

So how is the UK better?
I've been to many many countries and the UK is not nearly the best.
for example maternal healthcare is a bit shit in the UK amazing in abu dhabi, life is really good over there.

And before the usual come at me saying then leave/don't come etc
Calm down please, if you can criticise other countries, so can I 😉

Women chattle?
Been watching too much tv have we my dear 🙄

I work in this area. If his employer offered these jobs, he’d usually have an option of pre-relocation trip for a week or so to have a look around and see for himself to make sure it’s a right fit for him. He also needs to ask for additional support by way of settling-in & cultural awareness with professionals in the host destination which can be a huge help. Good luck!

@Leedsfan247
https://www.hrw.org/world-report/2024/country-chapters/united-arab-emirates

Nothing stopping you voicing your concerns to him up to him if he listens.

We have just moved to the UK after 12 years of living in Qatar. DH has lived and worked in the Middle East for 25 years in the finance sector and as a result has been fortunate enough to retire at the age of 50. I would definitely recommend moving out there. Year round sunshine, tax free and pretty much zero crime. It is a brilliant place to raise a young family, perfect work/life balance, close knit expat community, excellent schools and top notch private healthcare, both mostly paid for by your employer, including housing. I’ve read a lot of comments about safety in the Middle East, and to be honest, I feel more unsafe here than I have ever felt in all my 40+ years living in the Middle East. Every day I read stories of pedophiles in the UK doing the most vile things to young innocent children and receiving laughable sentences. Women being drugged/raped on nights out. People dying because they have been failed by the NHS. Others unable to heat their homes or feed their kids because of the cost of living crisis. If your son has an opportunity to get a leg up in life, by all means encourage him to take it. Worst case scenario, he hates it and returns to the UK. Best case scenario he loves it and is able to set himself up for a comfortable future wherever he chooses to live. As long as he has a sensible head on his shoulders, this could potentially be a life changing opportunity for him.

What issues with women rights? From my understanding neither Qatar or the UAE have any?

I’m sorry OP but you are being unreasonable. It’s his life and he has been offered the opportunity to work overseas and have a better life. Let him make his own choices based on his own beliefs, not yours.

I’ve lived in the UAE, on the whole it’s a great opportunity for him and I don’t think your idealistic view of the world should deter him from a great opportunity. He’ll earn a lot more money, have great social opportunities and add greatly to his CV. It’s a life experience I’m very glad I didn’t miss out on.

So much work is done to protect women in the UK so how has that helped?
It is getting worse, not better
The reason for women spaces in the middle east is cultural/religious not fir safety reasons and women getting unalived by men is so rare!
And yet an average of 2 women a week are unalived by male significant others in the UK. Even more if you count all men and not just significant others
So is women's safety merely lip service in the UK?
I mean even the police sometimes transgress against women.
So, clearly spaces for women would be welcome/even neccassary!

Do people working in finance look after your pension?

I'm afraid that the UK is going to shit and those job offers are extremely attractive. I'd go if I was 26.

I mean, I don't want to be around men?
Does that mean I hate men?
No, I want to be in women only spaces.
Hillarious you're assuming so much, you clearly feel that you have a superior culture.
Let me tell you, women there feel lucky, perspective is a funny thing.

Getting raped there is ridiculously rare almost unheard off
Also, many women are also not believed in the UK
Remember why the me too movement exists!