DS has been offered jobs in Qatar and UAE

[Sooptimisim]

DS is 26, he works in finance and has a good job in London. He has recently informed us that he has been offered jobs in both Doha and Dubai and is heavily considering taking them.
I know it’s not up to me but I really can’t settle at the thought of him moving to either of these countries. I associate them with poor women’s rights, little political freedom/freedom of speech etc.
I am trying to be supportive but I’m actually finding it very hard to be.
It isn’t about him moving away as my DD is in Australia doing a masters degree, it’s just the terrible women’s (and human) rights etc.

AIBU to ask him to consider all of this before making a decision?

I don't doubt you

Well he's a man so he will probably be OK. In my opinion, if he accepts, it shows you what he is.
If it was your daughter on the other hand I would be terrified for her.

I would have thought that a 26-year-old, educated professional man would already be aware of these issues and simply doesn’t care. It’s hardly a secret is it.

It is actually a lot of fun being an expat in the Middle East. There are plenty of issues in the west, not sure why everyone here takes the moral high ground.

Lots to see and experience, you should go out and visit him.

Can I ask what happens if you are raped there? Is it the same as say the UK?
I've heard some horror stories about the victim getting into serious trouble legally - but not sure if these are outdated/ misrepresented?

If this was a daughter I would understand your concerns. Women's rights are not something that your son can fix so let him go his own way and support his decision. That's all you can do.

@Ohthatsabitshit because gender neutral toilets etc have partly if not mainly arisen due to acceptance of gender arguments. So it’s more that these countries will never have gender neutral toilets etc because they don't accept LGBT rights. Also the reason for women spaces in these countries are much more along the cultural lines that women need to be segregated from men, rather than the safe spaces that we view them as.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe that is completely the wrong argument, we need men to stand up and say that the way women are treated/viewed by men is wrong (where it is wrong). Men have to call out men for this world to change

Ridiculous comment. A woman would be safer in UAE than in London.
Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iran, you’d be right.

Those who say it is safer I’m interested in the answer too

Well I don't agree with you or think that OP's son should be trying to do this in situ. That would be foolhardy in the extreme in a country that has poor human rights not just deplorable women's rights.

OP's son and any other man visiting can be respectful to women and they should, it goes without saying.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe the easiest way for him in this instance to stand up against their policies is to not visit the countries and explain why. By going to work there he would be accepting these practices/views

I don't think so. In fact I would say that those things protect women more.

Good for him for exploring opportunities. I think I'd encourage him to do so from a savings perspective, very difficult to accumulate wealth in the UK with high taxes, high rent, high cost of living. Makes sense to move to save money. Only downside is (I hear from recruiters) is people get trapped out there, used to the lifestyle, find it difficult to come back.
Ultimately I'd advise any young person to move abroad, try it out. The UK doesn't have much to offer. I'm overseas and so glad I moved. I'm sure one day I'll come back but for now my quality of life is so much better.

Back in the 1990s I went to Serbia (sort of holiday) when Serbia was under many international sanctions for ex-Yugo wars. I was torn about it.

I'm glad I went, to see for myself how people were living, and hear their perspectives on the war even if I disagreed with them. Wouldn't Dervla Murphy say the same when she went to Israel & Palestine? It's when a place is controversial that you gain most by first hand experience.

Anyway, it's your son's call about whether he can live there happily, and him going or not going won't change any of the things they do wrong. I would only remind him of all the strict laws he needs to follow to stay out of trouble.

So he loses out on the opportunity to work in a country he would like to work in. The employer says 'ok' and moves on to the next applicant.

No, your way is not how it works in reality. It would need a big event that the country wants to do to profile themselves, to be refused and the reasons why stated. To have the light shone on the country's awful human rights and for sanctions to be applied by countries/politicians who that country would care for the goodwill of. I don't think OP's son would cut it.

He'll be fine.

Just tell him not to have sex with anyone he's not married to.

Even though the UAE say they are OK with sex outside marriage, they're not. Not really.

What rubbish.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe but if more men stepped up and said no, then maybe something will happen. Same as in this country, men need to stand up against male violence etc. Just sitting back and saying I can't do anything isn't going to stop anything.

@Gogogo12345 I think it is important to understand why these spaces exist. I was on another thread and someone was explaining one of the reasons for compounds in countries like this was because women didn't used to be allowed to go about without a chaperone. Now, it has been stated that chaperones no longer required but compounds still exist.

The lack of gender neutral toilets in Dubai won't be because of women's safety it will be because the concept of gender accepted in other countries will unlikely ever be accepted in Dubai. Now it might make the places safer for women, the same applies for changing rooms, but it isn't because Dubai is looking out for the safety of women.

I have lived and worked in Kuwait, my family live and work in Dubai and I have visited Qatar/Doha many times. I don’t know of any expats from UK who have regretted moving to these countries.
My advice to your son would be to take the opportunity to leave the stagnation and decline in the UK and take the job abroad. He is young enough to leave and go elsewhere if it doesn’t meet his expectations.

Exactly, there's a lot of ignorance demonstrated on this thread.

😂

There are many other countries in the world where the rape per person rate is ridiculously high and women can forget justice and dare not report it at all, you can 'buy' sex from underage girls as a sex tourist easily, you have to grease the palm of civil and administrative service personnel left right and centre to get anything done, the government is as corrupt as fuck and the wealth inequality and poor living standards is stark. Yet plenty of people go on holiday in these places without a second thought. But it's the ME that people always centre on the most for some reason.

I know someone who is (she herself would say she's a 'bad Muslim' as Muslim women are perceived) out in the UAE as a nurse. She is extremely sexually liberal and goes to places where there are a lot of particularly American and other overseas expats and military men, where the rules are very conveniently overlooked and has 'a good time'. Worth noting she is both chauffered to these places and picked up and chauffeured back to an all woman compound safely. I mean from my perspective, the risk! But apparently no one bats an eyelid. If you know, you know! So it's a tale of two cities, but one thing is she says she feels much safer out there than here. I have to believe her.

If my son was going I would of course tell him to be up on their rules and save as much money as possible!

If we're going to avoid living or working in countries who's politics/cultures we don't agree with, we'll all be needing our own islands.

I think Dubai is an ok place to live if you like that sort of thing. It would be my idea of hell but Qatar (from what I've heard) is even worse. I don't think there's much to do unless you enjoy endlessly driving a jeep across sand dunes.