DS has been offered jobs in Qatar and UAE

[Sooptimisim]

DS is 26, he works in finance and has a good job in London. He has recently informed us that he has been offered jobs in both Doha and Dubai and is heavily considering taking them.
I know it’s not up to me but I really can’t settle at the thought of him moving to either of these countries. I associate them with poor women’s rights, little political freedom/freedom of speech etc.
I am trying to be supportive but I’m actually finding it very hard to be.
It isn’t about him moving away as my DD is in Australia doing a masters degree, it’s just the terrible women’s (and human) rights etc.

AIBU to ask him to consider all of this before making a decision?

With regards to human rights, I don't see how that situation is going to change if your DS doesn't move there.

If I were him I would go, and in your shoes I would support him. It sounds like he’s going to go, and objection on your part would be unlikely to stop him, but could create bad feeling depending on how you approach it.

It’s a great opportunity for career progression (it can be a faster track), and I don’t doubt that he’ll be offered a fantastic salary + bonus, and benefits package. It will give him a lot of experience.

This was an interesting post. For all those saying "Loadsa money! Count it, he'll come back minted", there is also the risk of losing several years of career progression, or even finding he's gone backwards. At City pay scales, that would add up to a whole lot of money so he'd better have saved all his Arab cash.

There are unquestionable benefits to living abroad - anywhere - in terms of personal development, but it looks like the financial benefits might be a poisoned chalice.

It would explain why most of the people I know who went to UAE for, initially, a couple of years have stayed on. I never quite understood it - their lives are no better and more limited than they were in London. If their earning potential in Europe or the USA has actually reduced while they've been away, the stories fall into place.

LGB is very different from T (and in fact most people recognise that T is often driven by homophobia). The culture of having safe female spaces for women is being eroded here rather than it was never here, and those cultural practices have their roots in keeping women safe in both cultures.

I don’t think you have ever been there or you would know much better. There is plenty to do to suit every sporting, artistic, cultural (in every definition) leisure interest you can possibly dream of.
I can’t believe the ignorance on here

Women only carriages are more about providing a safe space for women if they prefer it. It’s an option. It’s not compulsory for women to go in them. It’s just not allowed for men to. They are very nice safe spaces where you can get a seat and just be amongst other women. There are also “Gold” carriages where you can pay more and are more likely to get a seat. These are mixed though as is the rest of the train.

Even if in your eyes London offers them the same or more, they very likely just prefer being in the UAE.

It can be a fast track to career progression. I believe the average time to reach director level is quicker than it is in London and New York, by a few years.

@Username056 is work being done with respect to education for men on not sexually harassing women, you should never just provide a safe space for women. Otherwise it is like telling women not to go out at night when there has been a recent attack in the area, it's making women change their behaviour and not men.

Hmm, tough one

I'd encourage him to go for it... But I wouldn't go myself

It could really boost his career though

Is it with the Company he's already working with? An internal move?

It's a great part of the world to live and work in for a few years. I spent a year in Qatar and loved it. As a woman living on my own ( in a senior role) I felt very safe. The streets were much safer at night than over here.

My mum took a job in Abu Dhabi in her late 50s. A very
noble cause, as it happens, and with a specific intent to reap the benefits of high income for a short period to boost her retirement finances. My dad’s visa only allowed him to stay for a month before having to return for a month and he had absolutely no concerns about mum being there on her own - it’s an incredibly safe country in so many ways. There was lots that annoyed him: wastefulness and lack of green energy generation, obviously human rights challenges with Indian migrant workers etc and the view that wealth allows some to mistreat others.

I’d have political concerns about my loved ones moving to Canada or Australia though (where women’s rights are being actively stolen by men) and most wouldn’t blink an eye at that.

I’ve not lived at home since I was 17 and wouldn’t be allowing my parents to think they could influence my decisions in my 20s about where to live. I had actually moved to London in my 20s and was there on 7/7 so you never know what can happen anywhere on the planet. Your son is an adult and you need to trust him to make his own decisions.

Sons decision to make

If it was my child I would very strongly urge not to go, I would definitely say my opinion but of course say it was up to them

I would never go to those places

StepawayfromtheLindors · Today 07:20

Beg him not to go

Don’t be ridiculous. He’s an adult with his own mind.

I agree with OPs concerns and wouldn’t holiday in either place were it free.

30 years ago, however, if working there for a few years secured our family’s future, I think we would probably have gone.

We don't need to support regimes that mistreat women and have crap human rights, though, do we? These are places where migrant workers have few employment and safety precautions, where rape victims can be arrested for adultery. All that is doubtless none of our business, but I would be wary of living there.

I genuinely don’t know how people can take this stance given the utterly shameful state of the UK with regards to mistreating women & girls eg The Rape Gangs, the high rates of child sexual abuse in general, the children who regularly die while supposedly under social work protection, the thousand & thousands of men who abandon their families, leaving the mother and/or State as sole provider with the social stigma attached to the mother rather than the abandoning father and the government doing very little to address it.

I think fact that a lot of the luxury in these countries is based on slavery is what would bother me most. Because while you can go there and not oppress women, you will be living a life of luxury on the back of the poor in a way that is not the case in the UK, and the fact is many are functionally slaves.

I would absolutely say this to any of my kids at any age, because I expect them to be morally serious people who aren't supportive of that, and more importantly, don't go out of their way to be directly involved in it when they can avoid it.

Britain is soon becoming a third world country.

I'm past it now, but if I was younger I would live in Dubai.

Have you lived there?
Or just read about it ?

In wonder if the people in this country see the irony in calling UAE or Qatar unsafe and misogynistic.

Imagine an Emirati hearing this from someone in the UK where mass gang rape of girls is practically state sanctioned, with the authorities and politicians all sat there knowing it’s going on. Where children are mutilated by the state in the name of diversify and trans rights. And where men can pretend to be women, enter female wards in hospitals and prison and rape them.

Stop embarrassing yourselves.

It may not be done for that reason.Dossnt stop it being a good thing though

My 27yr old son lives and works in Doha and has residency. He loves it - is not as restricted as someone who was born there so it is easy to socialise etc

Kindly, I think you need to update your views about the places you mention. Middle Eastern countries are not all the same and Dubai is in no way similar to Saudi Arabia for example when it comes to women's rights. The UK itself has shocking rates of domestic violence against women (with very lenient sentencing for perpetrators) so your son could also factor that into his decision making, assuming he lives here.

Have you been to these countries? Spent any actual time in the Middle East (a vast place with different attitudes in each emirate or country.) The ignorance on here. As if the UK is so safe for women and girls. And I say this as a British woman brought up in Abu Dhabi and know many Arab women.

None of my relatives in Dubai/Saudi or Qatar have to worry about their teenage child being stabbed to death on their way to school either.