DS has been offered jobs in Qatar and UAE

[Sooptimisim]

DS is 26, he works in finance and has a good job in London. He has recently informed us that he has been offered jobs in both Doha and Dubai and is heavily considering taking them.
I know it’s not up to me but I really can’t settle at the thought of him moving to either of these countries. I associate them with poor women’s rights, little political freedom/freedom of speech etc.
I am trying to be supportive but I’m actually finding it very hard to be.
It isn’t about him moving away as my DD is in Australia doing a masters degree, it’s just the terrible women’s (and human) rights etc.

AIBU to ask him to consider all of this before making a decision?

"We need to get with it"? What, get with being ok about women having a chaperone outside the home until marriage?
I'll pass thanks.

We have relations in Dubai and I struggle to understand how two intelligent people can close their minds to the human rights abuses. I haven't been out to see them and neither has DH.

They keep talking about coming back and bought a house to facilitate that, but it's let as a holiday cottage unless they need to use it for a few weeks. I think it must be difficult to leave once you get used to vast income, paid staff and all the ex-pat jollification.

You can't "ask" him to consider anything, OP, because it's nothing to do with you.

Why is this board so full of parents who constantly want to interfere in their adult children's lives? It's so depressing.

I don’t think that happens in Dubai does it? If it does it must have massively changed.

Get over yourself. This isn't about you and it's a great opportunity for him

Your son will probably have a good few years there, advance his career and earn some good money that will set him up for a very comfortable family life back on the UK in his thirties. Realistically, would you not rather that for him than tie yourself up in knots worrying about the moral implications? Unless you feel you would have to cease contact with him on principle it’s just a difference of political views and he’s an adult.

Of course it doesn’t.. nor in Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Jordan etc.

Chaperones in UAE and Qatar? That’s news to me. I know several women who have and do like and work in both of these places, including as singles.

I can maybe offer some assurance as I spent a lot of my childhood and teens growing up in Abu Dhabi and visiting Dubai. It really is safe and has many expats, I have many friends who live there now. The main draw will be tax-free income and many choose to work there for a set amount of years and save up. I can’t comment for Doha but would assume it’s also completely fine.

I agree.

How ridiculous thst people are saying he should go with his morals or move there, when the UK has been sending weapons to kill Middle Eastern kids for the last decade.

UK is in decline.

We have a government who will take take take from people like your son and give little in return to fund all of the lazy people who are better off not bothering to work.

Hope your son has better advisers than you and goes for it! He certainly won't regret it

But why? He’s an adult and can do what he sees fit to advance his career. My dad moved to the UAE for work and it’s given us a great life, and opportunity to spend so much time in the Middle East which is vast and a totally different culture to the UK. Why should a parent interfere with this?

It will be a great financial start to his adult life.
Hopefully, he will come back after a few years.

@LostittoBostik women in Dubai and doha don't have chaperones! Many have high flying jobs. It's obvious you have no idea about either place...

DS did just this; four years in Saudi in his late 20s and he had saved enough for a large deposit on a London property. We didn’t visit but met up in various countries for holidays. The experience of working in the Middle East has proved to be excellent for his career.

The “chaperone” post is what makes me think so many people really don’t have a clue what the rest of the world is like. Of course they’ll never know what it IS like because they refuse to go there.

If the lad had been offered a job in Texas, there would be people on here poo pooing it because of Trump.

That’s an interesting point, but it seems like enforcement of such laws can vary a lot depending on the context @Garlicnorth. For example, Cristiano Ronaldo has been playing for Saudi Arabia for a couple of years, and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t married when he started there as I vaguely remember my Saudi colleagues mentioning it. It’s worth noting that high-profile individuals sometimes experience different treatment. Also, research has shown that homosexuality itself isn’t barred — it’s the acts that are illegal especially in the public domain. From what I’ve heard from colleagues with experience in the region, societal norms often differ in practice, and people sometimes find ways to navigate these restrictions especially in segregated societies.

@Sooptimisim, OP, you are being unreasonable. Every single country you can think of has done immoral and unethical things in the past and present, so there isn’t a utopia out there. You should let your son make his own decision.

There are lots of old revoked and in some cases even just made up laws and rules being banded around on threads about ME. Many people absolutely don't understand there are cultural differences and each Muslim country is different. There are also religious differences between Muslims. And not all Muslim countries have same laws.
Massive difference between let's say Pakistan, UAE and Morocco 🤷 But for many people it's kind of "they have a mosque so they are all the same".

No, it does not. It’s actually very, very safe for women - far safer than here. Women can walk around at night alone with no worries.

Whats the issue? Its normal for peopple to date out there. And to live together before marriage. I did in Dubai and I have family in Abu Dhabi - hes british and his wife is Australian. He is muslim and she is catholic. They lived together for nearly a decade pre marriage. You just register a garage to your name lol. It really isnt as awful as people make out

There is such an extreme amount of ignorance on here it’s astounding. Chaperones in Dubai?? Have you not seen what the influencers who live and work in Dubai wear and do? I mean yes there are public decency laws eg the couple who were arrested for being drunk and having sex on a beach but there is a reason the country is clean and relatively very safe if they don’t tolerate public drunkenness etc.

Also there is so much hypocrisy on here. I hope everyone talking about women’s rights would also have the exact same attitude re the USA especially regarding abortion rights. You are far more likely to be able to access an abortion at this rate in the Middle East than the USA. The USA is currently using prisoners to fight the fires in LA if we are also talking about oppressed work forces. And as for morality - our taxes are currently supporting a genocide so we don’t really have much of a leg to stand on.

Personally I had been reluctant to work there because of the UAE involvement in Sudan as well as the poor rights of immigrant workers but at the very least 40% of my pay check isn’t going towards their government like it is here and most people in the West prop up poor labour practices around the world because of fast fashion and demands for Amazon products so let’s not be hypocrites.

Having been personally involved in the "rescue" of an old acquaintance trapped in slave labour in the UAE, no way in hell would I support a child of mine working there. It's a place that can be enjoyable on the surface, if you are the "right" kind of person - but I personally cannot ignore what is under the surface.

Isn’t the lack of gender neutral toilets, changing rooms and the existence of ladies carriages more about the homophobic beliefs and the belief that women are lesser beings rather than women’s rights.

I remember my mum saying my Dad was offered a job in Saudi when she was pregnant with me, paid more than double the job he was in, free housing etc, bit they decided not to go due to how women were treated.

But as a single male, it might be a good experience to do this for a short time - a year or 2, before he settles down, which wouod be much better done here or another more liberal country. You learn much more about other cultures when you live in them vs going on holiday, and it brings a wider perspective.