Left alone in a park

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Please help, My ex looks after my two girls (12 and 10) most weekends. The eldest likes to do park runs on Saturdays but my youngest isn't really bothered. I found out recently that my ex and my eldest had done a park run in a large Scottish city (they've never been there before so an unfamiliar location), and my youngest had been left alone in a play park while they did a 5k park run. Looking at the course, the majority of it is outside the visibility of the park so there would be no way of checking whether she was safe in the park, except a few sections. A 5k takes around 30 minutes to complete - it does circulate the play park but on a very wide basis. Am I being unreasonable to think this isn't okay??

I'd imagine she was playing with other children. Not just totally left on her own. With a phone.

At ten kids like to feel a bit independent. By year 6 they should be getting used to travelling to and from school alone in preparation for secondary.

So playing in the park knowing your dad and sister are nearby and everyone's got a phone sounds reasonable.

I don't think it seems an issue. Presuming the 10 yo was happy enough and nothing bad happened?

If it had been a local park that she knew well and she was with friends, that would be fine. A park in a strange city on her own wouldn't be OK for me.

depends on the kid I guess. I wouldn't be happy but then I'm a pretty cautious parent and my kid wouldn't have liked it at that age. Year or two later though - yes I guess so - if they had a phone!

This.

Fine in a familiar place where she knows her way about, not good in a strange city!

I’d be fuming. Is it ok, probably, would I leave my own 10 year old to go on a run, no way! Don’t care what other mums do, I wouldn’t be happy to risk it so it’s a strong no for me.

I wouldn’t be happy with it in a million years but I am a very cautious person. It does partly depend on the child and the nature of the environment, there are some children and some settings where it would be clearly unwise, others where it is more feasible.

The fact that you are uncomfortable with it tells me that it isn’t what your daughter is used to and it isn’t your style of parenting, which makes it worse really.

Assuming she is happy with the arrangement I think that's fine.

You would you rather they made her run?

At 10, playing at a park which dad and sister are running a route near, when everyone knows how long it takes, sounds reasonable. Add a phone to contact dad if there is a problem.

I don't know, that's the kind of thing my mum would have said to me in the nineties.

She often left me by the magazines while she did the food shop and told me to ask the cashier/a member of staff if I needed any help and they would come and find her.

It might well be fine for the child herself, but supposing someone attempts to abscond with her? She has no-one to run to or to intervene if she's frightened...

I wouldn’t leave a 10 year old in park in a city we were completely unfamiliar with.

An 11 year old is in secondary school - surely at that age they go and wander around town alone or go to the cinema alone?

I think you have to be 11 to do a parkrun without an adult so realistically no parkrun Marshall would be expecting to have to deal with a random 10 year old . Marshalls are just volunteers not dbs checked or anything like that .

I can't believe so many think this is fine.
I think it's 100% wrong to leave a child alone in a park, I couldn't care less whether it's a local park or not...kids of 10 need looking after, anything could have happened to her.

I think the key here is how did your dd feel about it?

If she was ok with it then I think you are overreacting. If she felt pressured or wasn't happy then you need a conversation with her about speaking up and your ex abiut listening and acknowledging her concerns.

At that age a lot of kids are walking to and from school independently, heading to parks with friends etc so on the surface it's not an unreasonable act by your ex.

They go with friends. The alone part is the problem, for me.

If it were a local park or at least one she’s familiar with, I wouldn’t think it was an issue, but being that it’s her first time in this park and she’s not familiar with the city, I wouldn’t be comfortable with that.

I would walk home from school alone at that age and often popped into the shop on the way. I'd also walk into town alone to meet a friend, then walk back alone.

Their own town maybe not an unfamiliar city centre.

Also what if youths appeared and made things uncomfortable or dangerous. I've had to intervene in town centres before because bigger kids were throwing stones at smaller or lone ones.

I’d be okay with that at home, but not in a strange city, no.

I think it's ok as they could see her for some sections of the run.

That’s not the same as being in an unfamiliar city though.

Not in an unfamiliar park in an unfamiliar city on her own!

She wouldn't know a soul

So an area you knew, yes?

Was your DD ok with it? If she felt uncomfortable with it then that's an issue, otherwise its fine.