Hubs won't get the snip!!

[241719robs]

Am I being unreasonable that my hubby wont even consider getting the snip? He just replies with 'maybe one day'.

We have children already and I am 99% DONE. My body has been through enough and mentally Im burnt out. After contraception for years, pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding I dont want to go back on contraception or risk condoms etc. I know vasectomies are not 100% but better than me having to go through invasive procedures again. Im also late for my period and after 2 negative pregnancy tests Ive explained how unfair it is for me to be worrying about this every month. He basically ignored me as he knew what I was getting at.

Am I being a b*tch? Hes not had to go through anything physically and its not like I’m asking him to chop his bits off 🥲

😆

This is great!

😂

Oh no! I didn’t get a chance to re-read his post!

What did he say again? He called women butchers and what was the bit about shrivelled hags? Or his lack of shags?

😂

There are a few men on here who can't get a woman for sure. 😆 You can tell that by the angry, vitriolic, bitter, misogynistic, venom-filled posts from them!

No wonder no woman will touch these 'men' with a bargepole! 😂

😂

Well yes, I know they tear. That's a very different thing to a 'manufacturing fault'.

And, yes, I understand the real world data - this is allowing for significant human error because, well, most people just don't know what they're doing.

Myself and others are talking about those who actually know how to use them PROPERLY.

They can rip because there is a manufacturing fault. You're not extra great at using condoms, you're just lucky it hasn't happened to you (yet).

Yeah this! ^ Gotta laugh at that poster thinking they're a really extra speshul condom user because they have never had a mishap with one! 😂

I just find it really weird that people are too scared to have sex WITH contraception.

Nothing is 100% but it's not normal to be so scared of contraception failure that you live abstinent for the rest of your life.

Also find it really weird that people don't think condoms are safe and are comparing it to unprotected sex in some posts.

This whole thread is just odd tbh.

I think condoms when you're young and maybe not having sex as much/new relationship etc is understandable.

I think the issue is more with older couples where they've had their kids, and it's longterm regular sex, and easier not to be messing around with condoms which usually a lot of men are known to complain about using/kills the mood/isn't the same, or whatever excuse they come up with. I would feel a bit like a teenager reverting back to those 🤣

Why is it weird to not want to risk pregnancy? As in not want ANY risk of pregnancy?

Abstaining is 100% guaranteed to avoid pregnancy. No other form of contraception is that effective. At least not until she has gone through menopause.

Online misogyny is quite commonn- as is men like this one feeling entitled to women’s bodies.

Imagine criticising a woman for choosing to abstain from sex to avoid any chance of pregnancy!

Thats not an accurate representation of what people mean. They are saying that they will not risk getting pregnant, if you want to have sex then play your part in contraception for a change!

Yes they have.

”Hmmmm maybe some day” is clearly not engaging in a proper in-depth discussion which they really need to have.

Wearing a condom is a male playing his part in contraception, but OP isn't satisfied with that.

She will only have sex with him if he is completely sterile. Which is unreasonable and actually really odd.

It’s an awful situation and not one I see a sensible solution to.

He has absolute bodily autonomy and if he does not want a vasectomy that’s his right.

But it is also fair for her to feel frustrated at her husband’s lack of concern for her physical health.

I wonder if he would be content with them just agreeing to have a sexless marriage going forward.

Not if you want to absolutely avoid pregnancy.

Condoms are the only option here and they are less reliable than abstinence.

It’s not odd - she does not want to get pregnant.

But simply put, you can't expect to stay in a functional marriage if you unilaterally decide that it's going to be a sexless marriage.

If the man is happy to do his bit and use condoms, then that should be enough (combined if the woman so wants with fertility tracking and avoiding PIV for the high risk days). That is shared responsibility for contraception and about as safe as it's going to get.

It is odd to not even have safe sex using contraception and only accepting abstinence or sterility. Very few people are that extreme.

I agree, everyone discussing the failure rate of condoms but no-one seems to be mentioning that all forms of contraception have a failure rate.

It’s also not really OP’s DH’s fault that the only contraception available that he can be responsible for is condoms. He does not want a vasectomy, if he’s willing to use a condom then I fail to see why this isn’t enough.

Yeah this. ^ There is some utterly vile misogyny on this thread. Fortunately not from many posters, and a couple of the worst offenders seem to have gone quiet for now.

You've done in-depth research on this have you? You've questioned thousands of couples, watched how they've used them and given them marks out of 10 for their skill level. You've continued to stay in touch with them and monitored their experiences and satisfaction levels over a couple of decades and so you know for an absolute fact that you are right? Because really, your opinion matters not one jot. I became pregnant due to a split condom and whether it was a weakness in the manufacturing process or user error, which strangely enough often happens in the real world, I had to go through a termination and thus I would never trust a condom ever again. You might be happy with condoms and doubtless you and/or your partner possess superlative user skills but don't expect that everyone else would be equally happy to put their trust in them as a viable method of birth control.

This is ridiculous. You can’t control his body. Either he agrees to do it which is his own choice, or use contraception or simply don’t have sex. You can’t expect to force him to get the snip. Imagine he forced you to get an abortion. Same thing.

But he gets to risk another pregnancy and put her body through all that comes with it??? total double standard.

OP he is being incredibly unfair, its a one hour procedure usually done in a GP surgery, my husband had his done on his lunch hour, best money we ever spent!

Your husband is being incredibly selfish.